POV
Millie
It's been forty-five minutes of laying in X's bed and still no trace of him. His actions tell me everything I need to know, what I have already known, just confirmed.
I don't regret sleeping with him, it was hands down the best physical and emotional connection I've ever had with a man, but at the same time, I'm heartbroken. I've fallen for this person hard and way too fast. It took me about a year just to question if I loved Chase.
I wish it could've just worked out with Chase or someone like him, for there to be minimal drama, an easy-going relationship, maybe even a little boring, but most of all, available for a future in some way.
With X, it's a dead end, he got what he wanted all along and now the dead end has been reached.
I stand up off the bed and shamefully get dressed feeling worthless.
I grab my bags off the floor and walk out of the bedroom with my head down full of depression.
I tread down the hallway keeping my eye on the door I need to exit from.
I'm startled when I feel my bag being pulled from my hand.
I turn around and see X with my bag now in his hand. "What are doing?" He asks full of confusion.
I shrug my shoulders "Leaving?"
"No the fuck you're not," he says desperately.
"What's going on baby? Talk to me." He says while taking the other bag from me.
"I don't know, I just thought maybe…" I trail off and he looks at me even more confused.
"Maybe what? That I want you to leave?" He asks stunned.
I shrug my shoulders confirming my thoughts to him and looking to the floor.
"Why do you keep trying to run away from me? Millie, look at me." He gently demands and I do as he says.
"I'm sorry, I'm not the cuddling type of guy after sex but that by no means indicates that I want you to leave. I'm a busy person, I had to call someone back. I was just coming back into the room to see you. Yeah, I may be an asshole, but Millie, with you, I don't just want to fuck you and throw you to the side. That's what you thought, wasn't it? That's why you slept with me tonight? For this to be over?" He asks.
"Yes okay, that's exactly what I thought, that if I slept with you, you'd have gotten what you wanted from me, for the chase to be over. That afterwards you'd be bored of me and then you'd go back to your life and I'd go back to mine." I say truthfully.
He doesn't say anything, he just puts his head down trying to conceal what I think may be pain. He shakes his head and lightly places my bags on the ground walking back down the hall, "Do whatever you want at this point Millie, if you want to run, then do it, I made that deal with you, if want to leave, I won't stop you and I'm a man of my word, so go Millie. I can't keep you as my prisoner." He says sounding defeated and walks back in his office closing the door behind him.
I feel like a bitch now for making assumptions but what else was I supposed to think? Do I really want to leave? No. Do I think we'd make it in a relationship? Also no. But am I ready to let him slip through my fingers the way I do every time I have the sand from the beach in my hands? Not a fucking chance.
I don't know where this thing with us is going or if it'll ever go anywhere, but right now, I want to explore whatever is beyond this dead end because whenever I see one, there is still something beyond it, something more private with a risk and I'm all in for it.
I briskly walk to his office door as if I can't reach him fast enough, I'm about to knock but don't. I walk right in instead to go get, not Adria's, not Penelope's, and certainly not Aspen's, but my man.