Fuckinggg Helll....!!!!!! Did this girl even know what she is speaking??? Did she even think before speaking....
Am here head to toe obsessed with her and she just said I DON'T LIKE OTHER INTERFERING.... fucking Interfering....!!!!!!!
Ahhhh....!!! I slammed the door shut behind me and held a vase nearby... I was on the way throwing it on the mirror.... But then I remembered her face.....!! She'll get scared looking at it.... And scaring her is the last thing I'll do... I want her to trust on me.... Not getting fucking scared.... I threw that vase on the bed instead and ruffled my hair....
Control Kartik.... It's not her fault..... That innocent little girl doesn't even have anyone... she had faced so much..... Of course she'll have trust issues.....
Mei nahi samjuga toh kon samjega....!!! I sat on the bed and massaged my temple... Calming my anger....
But I want her!!!! I NEED her....!!! And she considered me as OTHER PERSON today.... Does she not have even a slightest of feeling for me???? Not even little bit... Am I just a friend..... daamn!!!! Just a fucking friend for her....
I.... I can't think anything..... I can't take this..... Ahhhh!!! Shivi..... Why did you said this??? Why??? Something inside me is aching badly.....!!!
And suddenly I heard a slow knock on my door.....
"K..... K.... Kartik" She said slowly.....
Ahhhh!!! I don't want to talk to her now.... Firstly she have a little sensitive heart..... Secondly.... If I can't control my anger and shouted.... She'll start crying... And I can't see her tears..... And if this kiddo once start crying... Then she doesn't stop until catching fever... And getting ill..... And if that happen because of me... I could never forgive myself.....!!!
*knock*
*knock*
"Kartikkk... " She again called softly....
"Shivanya... Am little busy right now.... Will talk to you later.... Hmmm" I managed to say in a calm tone....
But ufff... I had never said her that Am busy right now... Am sorry baby.... I don't want to hurt you.....
"Please Kartik... Mei tang nahi karungi pakka...!!! " She said in pleading tone....
Shivii!!! You know I can't resist... Why you are doing this......
"Shivanya.... Go for now hmm... I'll come in sometime.... " I replied in little authoritative tone...
"But.... " She started saying something but I cut in between....
"SHIVANYA GOO" I said loudly.....
She didn't said anything after that.... May be she's gone... My heart is aching badly now....!!!
Why God... Why I just can't pull her into my embrace and keep her with me.....near my heart always.....!!! Why this is getting so complicated.... Ahhhh!!! Hell I can't force her with me.....
I stood up and went to the washroom... I turned on the cold shower..... The cold water was falling on my head on my body..... But shit!!! It still can't wash the thought of Shivi calling me OTHER away....
I be there for atleast two hours.... Like am trying to distract myself under this cold water... Want to supress my aching heart under the sound of flowing water..... But it's not helping..... Not even a little bit....
I grabbed the towel and cleaned my self... I changed into my lower and tshirt and when I went outside I noticed it's evening now... I don't know whether Shivi have eaten anything or not....!! What she is doing.......I sighed and threw the towel on the couch and stepped outside my room.....
She was not in the living room... I knocked her room..... She didn't opened... Neither replied....."Shivanya??? U there???"
Still she didn't replied...
"Shivi am coming inside.... " I said and opened the door....
She wasn't inside.... God!!!!
I knocked the washroom it was also empty... My heart beat started racing.... Hell!!! Where she gone???
I went downstairs and searched inside kitchen.... Store room..... Guest room.... Everywhere she wasn't there too....
I grabbed the car keys and went outside my home.....!!! God... Kaha chali gyi Shivi....!!!
I searched her outside too... In park..... In compound.... But..... No traces!!! Raj saw me panicked and came to me....
"What happened bro??? You looking stressed"
"Shivi.... Shivi kahi chali gai hai.... " I replied.....
"What do you mean kahi chali gai... Didn't she told you???? "
He asked worried...
"I scolded her because of something and I was in my room whole day.... When I came outside she wasn't there..... " I replied......
"Yaar Kartik...!!! Come let's find her... She must be here somewhere..... " He said with concern....
I hummed and started searching her.... I can't forgive myself if something happen to her... What if she..... Ahhh no no kartik don't think negative..... She'll be alright....
And I asked watchman.... If he seen her going outside or somewhere....
"No sir.... But I don't know if she went outside during lunch break.... " He replied....
"What the hell do you mean you don't know... You.... " I said with rage....
Raj patted my shoulder... "Kartik relax.... "
Ahhh!!! How can I be relax when my kiddo is not with me.... Shit Kartik!!! How could you hurt her out of selfishness... Yes I am selfish... I didn't bother her emotions.....
I sighed and said "Raj.... I think we should search her outside...."
Raj "hmm yess... You go to her friends home.... And I'll check the nearby parks and other areas...."
"Yeah okk" And I hurried towards my car....
May be she is with Shashi... Her college friend.... I don't have her number..... But I know where she live.... I took a note of saving numbers of all her friend for next time... Of course there would be no next time..... God... I promise I'll never do such stupidity again but please give me my shivi back for this time.... Please....!!!
And I drove to Shashi's home.....
I knocked her door..... I was too impatient that I knocked it again and again until it opened....
When she opened the door she looked at me with shock...
"Aap toh wohi college wale hai na.... " She asked...
"Hmm Is Shivi... I mean shivanya with you??? " I asked her.....
"No no shivi is not with me... What happened is she okk...??? " She said with concern....
"You sure she is not with you" I again asked....
"Yeah really she is not with me... I hadn't even talked to her since last day we met.... " She replied....
"Ok thanks" I said and turned to move back.....
"Please inform me too if she's fine.... " She said from back...
"Sure... " I said over my shoulder and hurried to my car....
I called Raj while driving....
" Shivi mil gai???" We both said at once.....
Ahhh it means he too didn't succeed to find her....... She is no where....
"Nahi..... I'll call you when I'll find... Let's inform commissioner too... To help us find her.... " He said....
"Okkk" I replied and started searching her everywhere.....
God....!!! Please anything but not she... I only have her with me...
Please help me find her... Shivi ko kuch ho gya toh mei marr jaunga... !!! Tears collected in my eyes....
I went to her home too... But it too was locked..... Fuck!!!!
I searcher every corner.... Every park.... Every area... Her all the favorite places... But she is no where... Kaha ja sakti hai woh!!!! Even her no. Is switched off......
It's getting dark now.... My kiddo is afraid of dark....!!! Ahhhhh....!!
No I don't want to think any thing negative.... I took a deep breath...
I met commissioner and Raj near aur apartment....
"Commissioner did you get any clue where she went???" I asked....
Their sad and hopeless faces are telling me that they didn't...
"No Kartik Ji..... She is no where... We even catch her bullies and Interrogated but it seems like they too didn't knew.... " He replied.....
I ruffled my hair in Frustation.... "Kaha ja sakti hai fr woh... Aap ek 20 saal ki ladki ko nahi dhoodh paa rahe....!!! Fucking hell" I shouted....
Raj said to calm me "Calm down Kartik..... Calm down... We'll find her... "
"Ji Kartik Ji We are trying our best.... " Commissioner said.....
"The hell you are trying..... And how could I calm down when I know anything worse can happen to my little kiddo... She is all alone... She must need me.... " I said loudly.... Almost holding back my tears...
I went to my car and drove faster again to search her.....
I even called her bhabhi..... "Bhabhi is shivi there??? "
"No Kartik what happened??? Where's shivuu???" She said worried...
"No nothing don't worry... I'll call you back" And I hung up.....
Fuckkkk!!!!! Kaha ja sakti hai wohhh???!!
I stopped the car at side and stood there..... All worried about My kiddo.... But kaha dhundhu use... !!!! Aesa lag raha hai koi mera dil nikal kar le gyaa.... I can't breathe... It's so suffocating ....
My attention suddenly caught by Pani puri wala... He was selling his pani puri and a couple were having it....
Suddenly the memory of my little love eating pani puri striked..... And I smiled..... My little moon loves pani puri!!!
Please wapis aa jao I swear I'll never scold you again... Would never force anything on you... And would buy you so many pretty clothes... Bangles.... Jhumka.... Payal..... And even will let you eat as many pani puri and ice cream you want to have.... Please come back meri jaaan!!! Your Kartik is dieing without you.....!!!
And suddenly I remembered.....
"Shivu.... Why you want to go to that orphanage on your birthday hmmm??? " I asked her curiously....
"Because Kartik... That is my first home..... Am so attached to it... I want to celebrate my birthday with badi maa, the lady of that orphanage and all my brothers and sisters living there... It gives me joy... " She said excitedly....
"But baby girl I have arranged your birthday party at a grand restaurant.... With all your favorite dishes and game... You'll surely enjoy... " I said her
"Kartik... Please just for sometime.... You know when you were not my friend and I have no one literally no one... Whenever bhai scolds me I use to go to badi maa and spend time there....." She said sadly....
"Okk mera bachaa jesa aap kaho..... " I finally agreed... I can't see her sad... Anything for her....
And she smiled and hugged me happily.....
Shit!!! Kartik how can you forget that orphanage....!!!! I hurried to my car and drove fastly to there..... Such a stupid I am...!!!!! I should go there for the first place..... Hell!!!
Sweetaa am coming.....!!!