The moment I reached her orphanage..... I knocked the door....
Badi maa opened the door
"Kartik beta you here?? Aao aao ander aao"
I went inside with her...
"Thank God you came... I was going to call you only..... As Yuvraj too is not picking up the call" She said
"Badi maa... Is Shivi with you??? Is she fine??? " I asked impatiently... Am dieing to see my little kiddo...
"Yes beta she is here..... I met her in the middle of road in a very pity condition...But she have locked up herself in the room since morning and not coming outside... Neither responding"
She said worried....
And tears collected in my eyes listening her...
Ohhh my baby.... Am so sorry mera bachaa!!! This all is just because of me... I could never forgive myself after this.......
"Thanku so much for taking care of her badi maa... Can I go to her"
"It's ok beta... She's like my own daughter.... Yes yes sure... That way" She showed me the direction and I hurried to her....
I knocked many times and called her.... But she is not responding..... Am getting restless now..... God!!! I can't be away from her for even a 1 more second...... Please I hope she's fine.... Please say meri jaan just for one time that you are fine... I can't breathe!!!
And suddenly I heard her wince.... Damnn!!! What happened????? Is she... Is she???? Ahhh I can't think anything else and I kicked the door with full force....
"Shiviii.... "
She was sitting in the Middle of the room..... Her eyes we're puffy and swelled up..... Her face was pale.... She was looking so weak and exhausted..... Her eyes we're too red with tears... I can't see her like this..... I can feel the pain inside me.... But Finaly!!! I got my Shivi..... My little kiddo...
I ran to her and bend on my knees... I pulled her into my embrace and hugged her tightly... I kissed her on the head and said " Kaha chali gai thi meko chodh kar hmm... Kyu chali gai thi.... Jaan nikal gai thi meri... Don't do this again hmmm.... Or else I'll die... "
She too hugged me tightly... And started crying..... "Am sorry Kartik" I realized she was burning like fire.... She's too hot.... As I have expected.....and this time it's because of me..... And tears left my eyes too....
"Shhh shhhh mera bacha shhhhh it's not your fault.... But mine.... I promise you... I'll never hurt you again.... Don't cry please... We'll soon back at home.... Hmm" I said wiping her tears and kissing her forehead....
And she pulled herself back....
"No Kartik... Am not coming back.... I'll just give you sadness and disappointment.... Am not worthy of you... An just a burden" She said with teary eyes.....
What the....????? I pulled her back and cupped her face.....
"Who said you are a burden hmmmm???? " I said looking at her eyes....
She too looked at me and said with pain "so what else am I????? Bhoj hi toh hoon sabhi par.... That's why everyone just want to get rid of me.... My parents... My own parents thrown me away....My adoptive parents left this world.....Bhai.... Bhai never loved me.... I never got any friend....
No one cares about me..... All I get is problems in my life.... Am just a badluck for everyone.... That's why bhagwan ji take everyone away from me... Mei aap par bhi bhoj nahi banna chahti.... I don't deserve you..... I..."
I held her wrist and take it behind his back then pulled her near me... So near that our breaths were meeting and she went quiet..... Something inside me twitched..... I can see her light brown eyes filled with pain and hopelessness...
"Chup ekdum chup... Not even a single word Khabardaar agar aaj ke baad kabhi bhi kaha tum mujpar bhoj ho... Jeene ki vajh ho tum meri... Tumhari hi vajh se zinda hoon mei... Jaan basti hai meri tumme... Meri saans lene ki vajh....
Meri honthon ki muskan.... Mera pehla aur aakhri khayal... Meri ankho ka chand mere kaano ka geet sabh tum ho... Dhadhkan ho meri.... Dil ho mera... Tum nahi hoti toh shayad mei kabhi dil se khush na hota.... Tum saath ho tum mere paas ho...
Bass yahi karan hai ki mei jeena chahta hoon. Tumhare saath jeena chahta hoon.... Mujse yeh haq mat cheeno mar jaunga mei!! Ishq ho gya hai muje tumse..
Beinteha mohabbat ho gai hai aur shayad yeh shabd bhi bahot kam honge mere dil ka haal batane ke liye.... Mere rom rom mei tum ho... Mere har khayal mei tum ho... Tum do minute door ho jaati ho toh mera dil bechain ho jata hai...
Mei yeh nahi kahe raha tum bhi mujse ishq karo.... Basss mujse ishq karne ka haq mat cheeno.... Tum nahi bhi karogi phir bhi mei tumse itni mohbat karta hoon ki tumhe karne ki zarurat hi nahi padegi...
Tumhara mere saath hona hi kafi hai... Bass yahi chahta hoon ki bass tum hamesha mere dil ke paas meri ankho ke samne raho.....!!! "
I finally said this to her the words of my heart which I wanted to say her the first time I looked her... I first time I felt her.... The First time I listened to her...... I finally said.....
She looked at me with her big eyes..... In mix of shock.... And suddenly her face calmed and tears of pain were long gone..... I can see love in her eyes.... Hope in her eyes...
She didn't said anything.... And I moved near her..... I brushed my finger on her lips.... And she closed her eyes.... She didn't covered her lips this time... I leaned towards her....
And again looked at her expression for any objection.... But she didn't... She too want me.... I smiled near her lips... And opened my lips a little....
And then I took her lower lip into my lips softly..... And then the upper lips... Her lips are too soft..... I never felt like this... A sudden electricity went into my body.... I pulled her closer and can see her shivering under my touch.... I slowly started moving my lips around her soft little lips.... And she let me.....
I sucked her lower lips and take it completely into my lips..... My tongue slowly and softly moved inside her little mouth and I kept sucking her juicy lips for a moment.....
I pulled her into my lap and she wrapped her legs around me..... I held her hands and kept them around my neck.....
She held me tightly...and I sucked her lips more passionately....A knot made in my stomach....
I want to feel her.... I want to eat her..... But I kept it soft.......and I slowly pulled back my lips and her eyes were still close and she was breathing heavily.... Her cheeks were red with blush....
I rubbed her cheeks a little and smiled looking at her... She heated up again but this time this was not fever but our proximity..... I cupped her face and kissed her forehead.... I pulled her into my embrace again..... And whispered
" Am all yours my little love!!! "