Chereads / Happy Face / Chapter 39 - Beanie Man

Chapter 39 - Beanie Man

The man leapt to the side in a hurry, pulling out a card from his deck.

"Oh forget that stone! We have multiple....Draw four?"

The man looked at the card he pulled in disbelief.

"I'm not usually this unlucky..."

Bern dove towards him again, paws flaring with purple flames.

"ROAR!"

"Can you stop charging at me for one second while I draw four cards please!"

"No can do buddy"

Hurdson spat several flaming arrows in a row towards the beanie man.

"Oh godammit! These are all useless!"

The man had pulled four cards from his deck by now, but none were useful. He dodged the arrows, but those were enough to distract him from the flaming bear sneaking up on him from behind. He turned back when he noticed the bear close to him, but he was too late to dodge. 

Hurdson decided to add another failsafe by conjuring ten flaming arrows surrounding him. He pulled out a card and looked at it. He froze for a moment, the bear and arrows drawing ever closer, before flashing a smile and tossing the card to the ground.

"The Guardian! Hahahaha!"

A blue dome surrounded him, blocking the bear and the arrows.

"Roar!"

"What?"

Bern hammered at the dome, trying to break it. Beanie man inside the dome gave him a smug smile. Bern raised his paw in the air, his paw started converging the flames around his body, gathering all that energy into a single arm.

'Huh?'

Bern hit the dome, hard. The dome cracked.

'Shit'

Beanie man grabbed another card from his deck.

"Turtle and Hare? A chance card huh? It...It gave me th....e....t..u...r...t...l..e" (Speaking in slow motion, obviously)

'Dammit!'

Beanie man very slowly reached for another card. Bern kept banging on the dome, increasing it's cracks by the second. Just as the dome gave way, beanie man had dropped the next card on the ground. 

A tsunami of water blew beanie man and Bern off their feet and hurtling through the forest. Bern's flames were extinguished and and he toppled multiple trees due to his weight. Beanie man, on the other hand, crashed into a single tree and stopped right there.

"Argh!"

That was the sound of a beanie man showing a very pitiful display, and getting a couple of bruises in the process. He sat there, spitting and sputtering tsunami water everywhere.

'The jug!'

Bern reignited his flames, this time manifesting giant flaming purple paws above him, controlling them to swing, swipe and generally cause havoc in beanie man's general direction. Beanie man hopped, jumped and ducked to avoid the paws, but was mostly unsuccessful. 

He kept drawing cards while he was slowly getting cooked to no avail. He was at least able to avoid Hurdson's flaming spit arrows, which is why he hadn't died yet.

'When will you come, when will you come!?'

"Aha! Got it!"

Hurdson and Bern ignored beanie man, deciding to destroy the man before he got a chance to use whatever 'Aha' he had gotten.

But it was of no use. Beanie man held up a card and they could just make out a bathtub.

"I am tired of fighting you two. I got what I came for so I'm out! Ta ta!"

He threw the card on the ground.

"Archimedes Bathtub!"

Beanie man looked at both of them and gave them a mocking smile.

"Displacement!"

Bern tried to swat the man using his giant flame paws and Hurdson spat thousands of flaming spitarrows at the same time toward him, but he was already gone, instead a random chicken had appeared where beanie man was.

The tiny chicken was able to avoid the flames, but before it could curse at whomever had shot those at it and fight back, it saw who it was up against and deflated instantly. Looking at Bern and Hurdson, one of Titans, it squawked, laid an egg, and scuttled off, running for dear life, completely ignoring its newly created baby.

What a irresponsible parent. Man, good parent chickens are so hard to find these days.

Bern and Hurdson shook their heads, disappointed that they were unable to get rid of beanie man and also because they were extremely disappointed with that chicken who abandoned its baby. 

"Bern, check the area. I don't think that he is here, but if him or any of his friends are here, then we should get rid of them. We cannot have them be future problems"

"Rrrrrrr"

Bern surveyed the area, sniffing here and there to try and see if any other unknown individuals were present. After a few minutes of searching, when he came up empty, they decided it would be best to check on the progress of the ferris wheel.

Bern also definitely checked for traces of that chicken, hoping to teach it a lesson, but turned up empty on that end as well.

"We should return and tell the others. I can finally shove it in Marrie's face that it wasn't because my magic faded"

"Roar?"

"Uhhh....evidence? Uhhhhhhh.....we don't need evidence, do we?"

"Rrrrrrr"

"Please tell me you found evidence"

"Roar"

"What about that guy's cards? The ones he dropped"

"Roar"

"DAMMIT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY BURNED?"

"ROAR!"

"You expect me to believe that you didn't burn it?"

"Rrrrrrrrr"

"Pshh...as if"

Hurdson and Bern made their way back to the others, ignoring the egg. Of course the only reason they did that was because they were hopeful that the chicken would recognize its error and return for it. Definitely not because they're heartless bastards who didn't care about the egg.

****************************************************************************************************

The boy was playing bongos on two small logs that he had found....ok fine, created. A beaver was thumping his tail on the ground along with they boy, making some good music.

"Wow! You are good at making music Crack!"

"Eahhh?" (Really?)

"Definitely! You should make a band and go touring around the world! I'm sure people would oay good money to see you make music!"

"Eahhh Eahhhh?" (WOAH, REALLY?)

"Hell yeah!"

"Eahhh Eahhhh, Eahh Eahhh" (Ok then, I will!)

Marrie had had enough of the noise that they were creating instead of working.

"Listen boy, I know you have lost a lot of blood, BUT GET BACK TO WORK!"

"Aueagh! Okay okay!"

Hurdson and Bern rushed into the clearing.

"EVERYONE! GET BACK TO WORK!.....oh everyone is already working, except you two...huh..."

"ROAR!.....rawr?"

Marrie looked at them both in exasperation.

"Did you really think I wouldn't be able to keep them in check?"

"Ahaha....I had no doubt tha-"

"NOW YOU GET BACK TO WORK!"

"Aueagh! Yes ma'am!"