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Chapter 22 - emotional regulation ways signs

Emotional regulation ways and signs

What is an example of emotion regulation?

Emotion regulation is the ability to exert control over one's own emotional state. It may involve behaviors such as rethinking a challenging situation to reduce anger or anxiety, hiding visible signs of sadness or fear, or focusing on reasons to feel happy or calm.

5 ways to gain control over your emotions

Have you ever noticed yourself getting emotional and then forgetting things, saying something you don't mean, or struggling to get tasks done? That's what poor emotional regulation looks like. That means that your executive functions need some TLC

Self care 

Basic functions—because of lack of sleep and loneliness—can be impaired as a result of stressful situations. To have a healthy relationship with your emotions, the key is to keep your executive function system healthy and that starts with self-care.

Maintain healthy relationships 

We can also use healthy relationships to regulate emotions by having a trusted friend or loved one to confide in, which is why you usually feel better after venting to a friend. Socializing can help to calm your mind and can even help regulate your body's physical response to emotions. Although we can't see people face-to-face as often right now, you don't want to cut yourself off from people you were previously close to.

Stop suppressing and start reappraising 

Two of the most studied emotional regulation techniques are called reappraisal and suppression. Suppression is when you try to stop yourself from feeling emotions. When we do this, we often find that negative emotions return stronger than before.

Buzzell recommends practicing reappraisal instead. Reappraisal is changing the way you think about a negative emotion before having a response.

For example, if you made a mistake and feel disappointed, you can tell yourself that it was a learning experience and then you are more likely to have a positive response instead of a negative one. This promotes a growth mindset, which studies show promotes healthier relationships with emotions. The good news is that people can actually change how they regulate their emotions to be more in line with reappraisal.

Practice mindfulness 

One way to practice nonjudgmental awareness is to meditate, and it's a lot easier than you might think. Simply taking five to ten minutes a day to notice what your body and mind feel like can help you gain an understanding of your emotional habits. This can act as a practice for when you experience emotions in your regular life. When meditating, play close attention to any emotions that may arise and how your instinct tells you to respond. You can ask yourself:

What kind of emotions arise, and how often do they come?

How does your body feel when they arise?

How does your mind respond?

Are there any judgments when emotions arise?

Is that response helpful? Is there a better way to respond?

Prevent emotional outbursts If you've ever blown something small out of proportion, you probably felt pretty bad afterward. The good news is that Buzzell believes that the best way to manage explosive emotional experiences is through a regular practice of prevention.

He recommends practicing reappraisal daily with small instances. This makes it less likely that you'll yell at someone the next time Zoom kicks you out of class.   

"The problem is if it's a really intense situation, that's not the time to try to do some mindfulness or reappraisal strategies for the first time," Buzzell says.

Having a healthy relationship with your emotions is more likely to make challenging times easier by preventing tense emotional interactions.

If you have been struggling with controlling your emotions, know that it's normal for you to not feel like yourself during unusual times. While we're waiting for the world to go back to normal, don't forget to take care of your emotional wellness. Practicing these techniques can help you get a grasp on your emotions, and help you relax, feel good and be well.

Emotional dysregulation signs

Mood swings

Self-harm

Substance abuse

Emotional rigidity

Impulsivity

Anxiety

Depression

Outbursts

Suicidal thoughts or attempts

Eating disorder

Unstable relationships

Extreme perfectionism

Shame

High-risk sexual behaviors

Strained Interpersonal relationships

Controlling your emotions

Difficulty managing stress

Low frustration tolerance

Crying

Difficulty calming down

Being easily overwhelmed

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Crying spells

Severe conflict avoidance

How to emotionally regulate better?

Several strategies can help individuals improve their emotional regulation skills. These include mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing, as well as CBT and other forms of therapy. Developing healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise, hobbies, and social support, is also essential

Healthy activities that help you regulate your emotions include:

Talking with friends;

Exercising;

Writing in a journal;

Meditation;

Therapy;

Taking care of yourself when physically ill;

Getting adequate sleep;

Paying attention to negative thoughts that occur before or after strong emotions