Food Humor Jokes

"I can't be your meal..." Jacquelyn pleaded, trying to reason with the man who was supposedly her husband. His grin widened, curling into a mischievous smile, revealing his razor-sharp fangs. "And why is that?" he asked. Jacquelyn knew she had to use her brain with this one. "I am your wife... you can't eat me," she said, hoping to appeal to whatever humanity was left in him. "Makes it even better," was his cold response. Jacquelyn's legs trembled; she couldn't think of any culture or tradition where it was acceptable for a husband to eat his own wife. "And...." "And?" He prompted, with an encouraging sweet smile. "And I'm wet..." -------- Long, long ago, when Creatures of the Night ruled supreme and stood at the top of the food chain, a princess, Jacquelyn Avignon lived in the isolated part of the palace. Away from humans and even her own family. Cursed, they said. Queen killer, they called her. Bad omen, they crowned her. Until she was sent to be the bride of the Vampire King. A vampire king who enjoys his own peace and twisted sense of humor. Living life as the supreme sovereign, finds a princess who knows nothing about his supremacy at his doorstep, claiming to be his little wife. What happens when a cursed princess, afraid of blood, desperate to be with her family and to be loved back, crashes into the peaceful world of a vampire king? Her first target, turn her husband into a vegetarian. What about when Jacquelyn realizes that the world around her is more than just sunshine and good sleep but that hell is empty and the devils are here... in human form? She has to watch her back! For fans of; Forbidden love, dark fantasy, ancient curses and prophecy, strong willed and resilient female leads, grey men, dark humor, betrayals, marked mates, and star-crossed love, this book is for you. Other works by the same author: 1. Kitanna (Completed) 2. A Royal Mismatch: The Trouble With Prince Charming (Spin-off of Kitanna, Completed) 3. The Hitman's Sunshine (Completed)

Zhao Feng arbeitet hart, um zu beweisen, dass er besser ist als seine Mitstreiter auf dem Martial-Arts-Trainingsplatz, aber gerade als er aufgeben will, verschmilzt ein mysteriöses schwarzes, marmorähnliches Objekt mit seinem linken Auge und verleiht ihm die Kräfte der alten Götter. Mit seinen neugewonnenen Kräften macht sich Zhao Feng auf den Weg, der größte Kampfsportler aller Zeiten zu werden.

A fantasy tale about a monster boy who can transform into a dinosaur and his childhood sweetheart, embarking on a journey of entrepreneurship while scattering dog food along the way... (A farming novel with plenty of dog food, free trial reading is welcome) (Group: 313392527)

I think I have an obsession for rabbits, fussy tailed, always curious, never stopping running all over the place, rabbits… Then one day as a joke, I decided to call my partner, for life, Bunny Barlow….. Him, calling me Bunny Rose…. Mrs Bunny Rose Barlow…..

Guys here is my pitch..... In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the "cheat system" doesn’t quite… cheat? Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird. To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos. Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential. John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool. But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded. Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline. Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure. Of course No-harem!

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

In the 1960s, resources were extremely scarce. Thankfully, she had a personal space filled with supplies, ensuring she never lacked for food and clothing.

Mysterious and curious swords scattered across the earth, waiting for their world-renowned Sword Masters. Who can comprehend the miraculous skill that has been passed down from millennia? The city of Chang'an hides those who carry the power of fire and sun, the central plains house giant decaying millennial families, the wild warriors of the Northern Territory silently sharpen their blades, the dance of deceit and cunning occurs among the southern kingdoms... Above the lofty tranquility, a pair of world-dominating gray eyes are slowly opening. Pei Ye raises his head, pulling the Longsword from his stomach: "Immortal Lord of the True Dragon Taiyi... let's see, who is whose prey."

João Vitão, serei eu? Um cara de poucos assuntos, mas de grandes histórias. Extrovertido ou triste? Bem, nessas aventuras, iremos descobrir! Este livro trata sobre minha vida: Rotinas Amores Pensamentos Sentimentos Humor Reflexões E então, está preparado para começar essa aventura comigo? Meu Insta: @joao_vitaoo

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

In a world where mental illness is treated in isolated facilities, 17-year-old Elena finds herself trapped in a psych ward, the only girl among a group of mysterious and broken young men. Once a health-conscious perfectionist, Elena’s life took a drastic turn after a traumatic event during her final year of high school—a secret she refuses to share with anyone. Now, she copes by rejecting everything she once believed in, surviving on nothing but junk food and sarcasm. Surrounded by four troubled boys—Nico, the sharp-tongued rebel; Kai, the silent observer; Aiden, the boy with a normal smile hiding a fractured soul; and Jonah, the wildcard with a dark past—Elena struggles to find meaning in her shattered world. They all want to know her story, but she’s not ready to tell. Not yet. As they try to break down her walls, each boy becomes a potential ally, or maybe something more, but Elena is determined not to let anyone get too close. Because when you almost die, what’s the point in caring anymore? In this emotional journey of trauma, healing, and unexpected connections, Elena must confront her darkest secrets and the question of whether there’s more to life than just surviving.

The story of a man reincarnated into the world of Xianxia with the System that make him able to cook godly food

**"When a cosmic glitch turns a biryani-loving teen into the god of a broken universe, he’ll need more than divine powers to survive his own creations—including a goddess who hates him, sentient pasta, and a black hole that runs on dad jokes."**

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

Tokyo is on edge. A group of terrorists has taken over a massive shopping mall, holding innocent people hostage. The police surround the building, prepared for a long standoff—until the Hero Association arrives. In minutes, a team of elite heroes wipes out the criminals without breaking a sweat. The crowd cheers. The media swarms them for interviews. The heroes smile, crack jokes, and disappear into the night. But not everyone is celebrating. Behind closed doors, the police are furious. The heroes are acting above the law, killing criminals on sight. No arrests. No trials. Just bodies. The police commissioner warns that if this continues, traditional law enforcement will be useless. A cynical detective agrees, but there’s nothing they can do. The world sees the heroes as saviors—but what if they’re just another kind of monster? Meanwhile, in a quiet part of Saitama, high school student Kuroshi Watarabe wakes up from a terrifying nightmare—flames, screams, and a city burning to ashes. But it was just a dream… right? He pushes the thoughts aside and heads to school, where he’s just a regular third-year student, joking with his friends and dodging promises to treat them to food. But that night, everything changes.

People and animals are all equal. But what if something else comes to the top of the food chain? Kamukura Izuru's experiment failed. Now it's our turn to judge.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

#Isekai #Food

"Yuri, Pringles! We're out of Pringles!" "Great! 8 boxes of ramen! No, 10 boxes in exchange!" "Cola is clearly a product of the devil!" Cider, cola, cookies, ramen. I don't have any, so I'll make them.

Ginny Green, an aromantic nerd, accidentally slept with the infamous campus Princess, Persephone Campbell, but she can't remember. ** Ginny Green is an aromantic nerd who only believes that love only exists in movies and novels, but still wishes to find that special someone even though she's thinking that it's impossible. After she got drunk at a party, she found herself tangled in bed with the infamous campus Princess, Persephone Campbell. Persephone Campbell is an extremely attractive, charismatic, misjudged individual due to her wealthy background. Deemed by the people as coldhearted and a snob, but she's totally the opposite. She fell in love with Ginny after their faithful night together and would love to start a relationship with her. But there is a problem, Ginny is aromantic and doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. Now, Persephone is on a mission to make the aromantic nerd fall in love with her. ** "You're not going to run away and walk out of this room and pretend that this didn't happen, are you?" In every accidental one-night stand, of course, that thought is not an option anymore. Embrace each other at night like long-time lovers, and in the morning, shrug off every memory like it never happened. That's always been the case. And of course, that was Ginny's initial plan after assessing the situation. But looking at Persephone's threatening, yet smiling face, she knows well how screwed up she was. Let's just laugh first. "N-no, I wasn't thinking of that at all." "Good." Persephone smiled, satisfied with her answer. She gingerly moves closer to Ginny, wrapping both of her arms around her waist. Ginny can't seem to utter a single word. Seeing a naked Persephone in front of her was... was... was - she doesn't even have any words to describe it. ** OTHER STORIES: Too Gay for You: You Give me Heart Eyes (GL) Join the discord: https://discord.gg/mCBYVgW8MH

A humorous world full of hatred , trails, questionable love, desires and a little touch of romance are all found in ocean's world ...what would you do if you find out your entire family is all about lies and manipulation , hatred and questionable love , disappointment and scary secrets. Hope on this journey and explore this unrealistic world in "hey chill out its just me".

In the third year of his reincarnation into the Middle Ages, the moment to inherit the noble title was at hand. Little Norn had thought that a wonderful life of nobility was about to begin. But just as he was about to rely on his uncle, his uncle encountered some trouble. With no other choice, little Norn had to follow his uncle on a journey full of adventures to the Holy Land. In the Middle Ages, a "food desert," he used delicious food to pave a road to wealth and success. He also improved himself by secretly learning skills from knights. When asked about the future, little Norn said, "Of course I want both power and beautiful women!"

Tom. A friend. Not a foe. A friend. (made for an inside joke)

Morgan Lovecraft had a problem. The world hated him for what he was, and what he could do.Saved by Duke Kinson, Morgan finds a new life in the world of Dunnishire. Orphaned as a young teenager, he finds himself in a new world where making friends was easy. That all came crashing down the day he turned sixteen and found out he not only had a death affinity, but he was also a necromancer. For a time, all necromancers were put down before they could gain levels or power.Morgan was born after that nonsense, but many of the old prejudices and hatred were still prevalent. Going from having friends to being an outcast once again, he hopes his scholarship to the Mages Academy will be a new turning point for him and a way to redeem himself.Most people think of necromancer’s as beings of great power who could raise up hordes of the undead to do their bidding. Well, yes, that part was true. But necromancers were a fantastic utility class that could be both DPS as well as some minor healing and maybe… just maybe… cast resurrections.All his planning, hopes, and dreams go out the window the first day of classes, when he is challenged to an honor duel. Making mortal enemies five minutes after walking into school? Being asked by the duchy to speak to the dead for them? Help them solve an assassination plot, corruption of public officials? Not wanting to be in the spotlight, the former Earth gamer finds himself right on center stage as he becomes The Duchy’s Necromancer!What this book is: A fantasy LitRPG GameLit progression based storyline. There are grownups in this book who act like grownups. They drink, they swear, they make bad jokes, and they fall in love. What’s not in this book? Harems. Sex scenes. Graphic or otherwise. There are plenty of jokes and innuendo about it, however.

In this modern mythological tale, Dhruv, an unsuspecting mortal, finds himself in Vaikuntha, questioning whether this is truly the end of his journey. Instead of peace, he meets a mysterious man in a suit, who ultimately reveals that Dhruv cannot enter heaven due to "arrows of regret"—a metaphor for his unfulfilled purpose. Offered a chance to return to Earth for 90 days to make amend. Upon accepting the deal, Dhruv embarks on a chaotic and humorous journey through the underworld, meeting Yamaraj, the god of death, and Gorgo, a nervous demon with horns, who comically reacts to Dhruv's presence as though he's a harbinger of disaster. As Dhruv navigates the strange, labyrinthine bureaucracy of the underworld and the daunting task of creating a "happy ending" for himself. With gods in disguise, reluctant demon assistants, and divine missions laced with humor, Dhruv's journey becomes one of discovering the true meaning of life, death, and purpose.

What should you do if you suddenly find yourself in the body of a female character inside a Korean MMO? For Yura, a nerd from the music faculty, it’s a chance to forget about exams, but for Gennady Alexeevich, a retired military man with a family, it’s a complete disaster. In the world of the game "Hell Grind," they face absurd quests, magical skills, battles, and the Tree of Wisdom, which offers questionable advice. Or maybe they don’t—because the adventures are highly dubious! Struggling to survive, find a way home, and keep their sanity turns into a ridiculous yet gripping adventure. A parody isekai with elements of LitRPG and a pinch of humor, where the gamer’s life collides with a fantasy reality in a comically absurd but thrilling clash. A lighthearted storyline, not weighed down by an abundance of numbers or intricate schemes. This book is an experiment, a translation of my novel for a Russian-speaking audience. I'm curious to see how well the humor resonates with Western readers. Let me know what you think about the story.

Our protagonist was once a world-famous Michelin-starred chef, known for his perfectionism, his arrogance, and his ability to turn any ingredient into culinary gold. He died tragically and wakes up in a high-magic fantasy world where... the food is absolute garbage. Here, people eat bland, tasteless mana-infused gruel because magic has made cooking obsolete. No one understands seasonings, textures, or proper culinary techniques. In noble households, food is just a status symbol, and commoners barely get by on unseasoned monster meat. But the protagonist has one thing in his favor—his stat screen.

What happens when an ordinary guy finds himself in the most extraordinary position? Meet Jake, a laid-back underachiever who suddenly wakes up in the body of the President of a quirky, chaotic nation! With a cabinet full of oddball advisors, a nation on the brink of hilarity, and a series of outrageous events spiraling out of control, Jake must navigate the treacherous waters of politics, diplomacy, and, of course, the constant barrage of memes. Armed with nothing but his offbeat sense of humor and a knack for bizarre solutions, Jake dives headfirst into a whirlwind of diplomatic disasters, celebrity antics, and mind-boggling conspiracies. As he tries to juggle international crises with a series of laugh-out-loud moments, he quickly discovers that leading a country is no joke—especially when his predecessors left behind a mountain of absurd problems.

"A thrilling action novel infused with jokes and a touch of life lessons."

When Reginald P. Bottomsworth III's prized family heirloom, the Bottomsworth Diamond Necklace, goes missing, he sets out to solve the mystery. As he questions his reluctant employees, Reggie uncovers a web of secrets and lies. But nothing can prepare him for the shocking truth: his nephew, Bertram, is behind the theft. With a lighthearted tone and a twist of humor, this story is a wild and thrilling journey.