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[Monday - Day 15 - January - 2018]
"I'm quitting," I said after a long thought.
I've finally come to a conclusion. It's certainly not ideal, but I think it's our best bet.
"So that's it?" Alfa asked, giving me time to think about my answer.
Even though he was asking, we both know that this is the best course of action... at least from what we can think of.
"Yes", convinced of my choice, I confirmed.
"I'm going to become a programmer"
"You've never programmed and the only idea you have comes from what you've read. Are you sure?"
"Yes." Firm in my answer, I confirmed.
*Alpha sighed, I know what he's thinking.
"It looks like these days are going to be complicated," we said at the same time, aware of the impending turbulence.
...
...
Although I wanted to resign, I couldn't just never go to work again. In fact, that would only lead to more complications, so I have to go there to do it officially.
After brushing my teeth and showering, I got ready to leave the house and in the meantime Alfa stayed at home studying programming with content found on YouTube.
We have no idea of even the basics of programming, I'm only aware that there are several different programming languages and Java is the most widely used.
Fortunately, somehow my thought process, speed of reasoning and memory have improved. As a result, not only do I learn faster, but I can understand even those complicated videos in 2x time, greatly increasing my learning speed.
This is considering that only Alfa is learning now, but what if we both studied at the same time? I can only say that there is hardly any barrier that would stop us learning.
But the question is: 'why is my thinking speed faster?' If I had to guess, I'd say the reason is that I 'have' two brains now.
In the future I plan to study this to try to understand why, but I need money and a lot of study for that if I want to keep the fact that I have a clone hidden.
But well, that's something for the future.
Before I left, I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but admire myself.
I'm wearing a black dress shirt, white shorts and white flip-flops.
To be honest, I don't really like this kind of shirt because I don't have the right physique to wear it, but since I don't have any new clothes I don't have much choice.
My black hair is no longer messy after I combed it.
'I have to get a haircut,' I thought as I looked in the mirror.
Although I have a pretty face, there's one thing I don't like about my body, and that's my physique, or rather my skinny physique.
My forearm is thicker than my arm and my legs are thin. When I notice these details I feel a bit strange.
I don't have such low self-esteem that I don't wear short shirts, but it's still something I dislike about my appearance.
Rather, I feel that I could be better than this, and this feeling is more prevalent than the feeling of being inadequate.
'But hey, who cares? Look at that seductive face?' Narcissistic thoughts take over as I pose in front of the mirror.
Don't judge me, I'm sure you've done this before.
When I have some free time and solve my financial problems, I should buy some clothes and join a gym. With that in mind, I finally decided to leave the house.
Leaving the bathroom, I turn off the lights and close the door.
At the table in the living room, Alfa is sitting studying on a laptop while wearing cell phone headphones. The video on the notebook is at 2x and on the side there is a notebook where he makes quick notes.
This laptop is actually something I got from an acquaintance a long time ago in the eighth grade. He had bought a new one and gave me his old one, and the old one actually has a bad battery and you can't do anything but watch videos if it doesn't turn off.
I ended up moving away from this friend after he moved to another city. And even if he hadn't moved, I'd still be too busy to interact with him like I used to.
"I'm leaving. Keep the doors locked and don't stand too close to the windows," he said as he looked at Alfa.
He just gave a thumbs up as he kept looking at the video.
Leaving the house, I close the door and lock it from the outside. I happen to have two keys since I had a spare, so I'm leaving with one of those.
Looking at the sky, I see that it's still sunny, a great day to go to the beach. It would be nice to go any day, it's been a long time since I've been.
The only things I'm taking are my wallet, my cell phone, my headphones and my house key. It's not as if I'm planning to be away from home for long.
Without wasting any time, I moved towards the stairs and began to descend without a care in the world.
'Shit, my bus' As I descended the stairs I saw my bus approaching the stop, it was just at the light before the stop.
Afraid of missing it, I quickly started down the stairs.
"Hey, watch it," said a woman I'd accidentally bumped into.
"Sorry!" I said without looking back as I continued running.
Finally, as I finished running down the stairs, I saw that the bus was standing at the stop while some people got off and got on.
With all my strength I ran as fast as I could.
The bus stop wasn't that far from the exit of my apartment, about 30 seconds walk from the stairs to the bus stop and vice versa.
Just as I was about to get on the bus, the driver started closing the doors.
"WAIT!" I shouted at the driver.
Fortunately, when he saw me, he opened the doors and let me on.
*I was gasping for breath and my leg was aching when I finally stopped running.
"Thank you," I said with difficulty as I tried to catch my breath.
In response, he just gave me a nod with a smile on his face.
'I really need to exercise, I'm in pain and out of breath, after only that' I couldn't help cursing my current stamina.
After a while I was feeling better, so I decided to move to the back of the bus.
I used my school pass, fortunately I didn't have to pay the fare.
When the machine read my pass, I turned the turnstile and got on. Luckily the bus was almost empty, otherwise it would have been more stuffy than it already was.
I sat in the seat near the window, put on my headphones and admired the scenery while listening to the music until I reached my destination.
I kept tapping to the beat of the music as I looked out over the landscape. I thought about the world through the bus window, realizing how everyone has their own problems and their own lives.
Children playing in the park without worrying about how complex life is, only worrying about whether tomorrow will be a good day for them to go back and meet up.
Couples in love walking hand in hand while smiling and hoping that this moment will last forever.
Children shopping with their mothers, from the expressions on many faces, they don't want to be there but they don't know how lucky they are.
I can't describe how envious I feel of them, would I act like this if I had a mother? Would she love me? Would I be a good son?
And those children in the park. If I had a family, would I be like that too? I'd be happy and only care about having fun and playing.
If I had time, would I find my soul mate? Or maybe I'd never be able to feel it and express it, and besides, how can I demonstrate something I've never felt?
Suddenly the world pulled me out of my depressing thoughts when I reached my destination. Reminding me that I have a life to live and my own problems to solve.
The journey was quick and didn't take long, the bus from my house to where my work is is about 20 minutes.
'Yes, when I have time I'll find my love and feel all this... when I have time' I thought with a smile on my face as I got up and got off the bus.
I got off at the terminal in the center of my city. My work is based here in the center, not far from the terminal.
Walking through the crowds of people walking to get to their bus and waiting patiently, I headed for the exit.
When I got off, I got back on track. It takes about five minutes to walk from the terminal to where I work.
I walked leisurely while listening to music on my headphones.
"I buy gold and sell gold. Best price on the market" There were several people on the street selling their products or advertising their stores.
"Hey buddy, let's take a look at our store. Cheap and affordable clothes" an intimidating-looking man stopped me as I walked by.
He's holding several flyers as he advertises the store on the avenue. Besides him, there are three other intimidating-looking people advertising the store.
I know it's actually a store as I've shopped there before, but I'm always scared of these guys, how would I defend myself against them if they tried something?
"I'm busy, bro," I said as I kept walking past him.
I know my action may sound cold, but this is one of the unspoken rules of walking in a city center: 'Never stop when someone stops you'.
Of course, if you want to check out the store and buy something possibly cheap at your own risk, that's another story, but if you're not interested, never stop, and better still, walk away from them if they're not likely to talk to you.
'It's always the same,' I thought to myself.
'Always the same,' I thought as I continued walking.
After a few minutes of walking, I finally reached my destination.
Before entering the building, I stared at it, several thoughts suddenly clouding my mind.
Is this the right choice? Won't I regret it later?
Several pessimistic thoughts began to flood my mind. But they all disappeared quickly when I remembered a phrase that I had never given much thought to before:
'It's better to regret having tried, than to regret not having tried'
I had always ignored this phrase that my philosophy teacher used to say and now that I think about it, it seems that I didn't really 'get it', but for some reason now it all makes sense.
Now I can't help but think how cool philosophy is.
'I have to pay more attention in class this year' with this new thought I walked confidently into the building.
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Meanwhile with Alfa:
"Shit this is really confusing" he said while pulling at his hair.
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