I was woken up by my cell non-stop ringing. As I woke up, my head started throbbing. What had gotten into me yesterday? My limit exceeded too much. I started searching for the tablets in the cabinet, and after finding one, I gulped it down. I started checking my cell, which was lying somewhere on the bed, and I started checking.
There were so many miscalls from the hospital and from the attending doctor. I immediately dialed the doctor's number. He was in a panic state, as I could tell by his voice, and I was holding my breath. "The patient has escaped." "What?" "Please, can you come to the hospital immediately so we can explain?" I suppressed the outburst and disconnected the call. I made my way to the shower and directly made my way to the hospital. Thomas was behind me.
We were in the cabin of the attending doctor, and I didn't know how many more minutes I would need to maintain my composure. "What happened?" "Last night, the patient had gained consciousness, and he escaped from the hospital." I was perplexed, like seriously. How on earth even possible? "How the hell is it even possible? What about fucking security? He was in a bloody coma, right?" "Yeah, but I had informed you that he would gain consciousness." "What about bloody security? How can he escape?" "It was the middle of the night, and there was an accident. So many patients were admitted. Everyone was busy, and it became very easy." "Are you hearing yourself? How the hell did the person in a coma escape just like that?" "You can watch the CCTV footage, and you will come to know. It was planned." "How the hell can he plan such a thing when he just came back from a coma? Did he gain consciousness a few days ago or a day ago? Have you thoroughly checked on him?" "He was my first preference, and yeah, he had gained consciousness last night."
I was puzzled. Still not getting how the hell was even possible, and the most important question is, why the hell did he escape? Was he aware of anything that was going on? Was there a fucking chance of it? By clearing my throat, I spoke. "If a person is in a coma, can he grasp the things—I mean, what's going on around him?" "Fifty, fifty chances. He may, and he may not." Why the hell did he run away? I don't think I will find him in his flat. Thomas chirped in. "I will send a few people in search of Grayson everywhere. Don't worry, ok?"
This is not happening. Yesterday, he gained consciousness, and yesterday itself, he escaped from the hospital. That means something was not right. He doesn't want to get involved with me because of the incident. He was aware I would not let him go, so he chose this path. But escaping was a drastic step. What the hell am I missing here? After gaining consciousness, he didn't take time for anything, at least for arguing, just took off without even a word.
I started checking the CCTV. I was getting his last glimpse, and every move was composed. He doesn't want to get caught, and at last, he is successful. I rewind the video and pause to look at his face, staring at him without blinking my eyes. The same question was lingering in my mind: why? I don't know how many minutes passed until the doctor cleared his throat, bringing me back to reality. I want to sue this fucking hospital, but this is not the time for anything. I should find Gray, and it was already fucking late. By this time, he could reach anywhere.
I immediately dialed my best friend's number, and by groaning, he received the call. When he was aware I was not in the mood to take any of his scrappy jokes, he started questioning. I didn't answer him, gave him the instructions, and disconnected the call. Finding Gray will be a hard task; he is fucking not carrying his cell phone.
I and Thomas were out of the hospital. I was feeling numb. From midnight to now, it's been almost 10 to 12 hours. By this time, he could reach anywhere, and I should hunt him down before it's too late. "Don't worry, we will find him. Common, let's get going." "But what if it's too late?" "We will find him. We will use all our power, ok? We will definitely find him." "I want to believe in your words, but I am not able to. It's been a few hours, I know, and I feel like I can't find him no matter what. He planned everything. Last night, he gained consciousness and escaped. He didn't waste even a minute. Why?" "Let's not think all those things. Our priority is finding Grayson, and let's concentrate on the task." By nodding my head, I followed Thomas.
I didn't even visit him once when he was at the hospital, and at last, I got his last glimpse through CCTV footage. Wow, just great. I had plenty of chances to touch and feel him, but I didn't use any. Why am I accepting defeat without even fucking trying? I was fucking optimistic, but where is my fucking positive attitude now? Why does it feel like I won't find him? It's just been a fucking few hours.
After reaching the company, I made my way to the cabin. There was a board meeting, and Thomas would be attending on my behalf. I started dialing my friend James's number. "Did you find anything?" "No. I am trying my best using every means, both in the airport and railway station, but I don't have any clue till now." "It's been more than 12 hours." "I get it; we are working on it. What the hell is going on? Are you going to spill the beans at least now?" "I don't have time. Find him." "I'm doing my best. His last transaction was last night. He withdrew whatever he had in his account, and that's it. I don't think he is going to use the card again for obvious reasons." "He has planned everything, and somewhere I feel that he is successful too." "Don't give up. We will try our best. With your money and power and with my technique, we will find him." "By this time, we should have gotten some clues. As the minute passes, I am losing hope. We have not been able to get at least one clue till now." "Relax, will you? Life throws chances like more than one. If you keep on ignoring and indulging in your pride, then the result will be exactly what you are fucking going through. In the first place, why the hell did you go back? Don't give me the shitty reason; you and I both know that was not a fucking reason. Again, you were fucking blindfolded and genius in neglecting things." "Will you stop?" "You made me shut before too, and the result is in front of you. Whatever, I will do my best." "Thank you." "Whatever. Somewhere, I feel that you deserve this bastard." The call was disconnected.
After hearing those words, I clutched my phone harder. The ache that was flooding and the hope that I was losing everything were making me mad. I felt suffocation in the chest area, which I started soothing with my hand. My memories with Gray that started gushing in my mind made me numb.
Thomas entered the cabin, and I didn't bother to wipe the tears that were flowing. He took his seat in front of me, and we didn't speak. We were silent. "We are doing our best. We will find him." I nodded my head. "You should head back. Take rest. I will deal with everything." "No. It's ok." "You need rest." "I will take one here. I don't want to go back. It's been almost 13 hours; do you still have hope? Frankly speaking, I lost, and he won finally." "I always cautioned you. If you keep ignoring things, then the result is inevitable. You should have listened and questioned a few things. Once you were blindfolded by your revenge, and now you are blindfolded by your pride and ego. The result is in front of you. It's all about how you see things and value them. According to you, we are stuck in memories of our late wife, but we are not. We cherish our memories, and that feeling is different. We don't want a replacement and don't want to play with the feelings of others, so we chose to be single. We don't want to start over because, deep down, we know that's impossible. We could have tried, but we chose not to because we don't have any right to play with someone's emotions. Yes, we are stuck and happy this way. It's not as bad as you think, either. It's completely different and can't be explained through words; only we can feel it. Your dad and I are in the same boat, and we intend to stay this way. There is nothing wrong with staying in memory of our loved ones. My advice is don't give up."
I could only nod my head; no words dared to come from my mouth. This was strong; those words were strong, and he meant every word. My head started spinning thinking about everything and hats off to my ignorance and for taking everything for granted. "I will order something. Rest here, ok?" "I don't…." "You need to eat something; obviously, you need energy to clear your mess. Take rest."
It's been 10 days since I didn't find any clue regarding Gray. Not even a single one. If searching is going on at the end of the day, the result would be the same. I am not getting how he can disappear like that without leaving a terrace. The uneasiness I was feeling turned into reality and was now replaced by my agony. Daily suffering.
His disappearance pushed me into trauma. I have not accepted the fact that he is no longer in my life. I won't accept the defeat; wherever he was, I was going to find him at any cost. Again, this question is why he took such a drastic step. When I try to dig for an answer, it will point out one thing, and my whole body stiffens. What if a 50% chance worked out when Gray was in a coma? What if he was grasping things?
Ending up in tears has become routine at night. Always watching the image of Gray that was captured on the CCTV of the hospital. The last image of him.
I was lucky I got two chances to keep him by my side, but I neglected and took it for granted, and now I invited things, ending my day in suffering.
Everyone was worried, and I did not get why. I am not going to die without getting Gray back in my arms, but until then, suffering is inevitable and something I deserve, I guess.
I brought back clothes of Gray that were dumped in the storeroom and kept them in my wardrobe. Whenever I was not getting sleep, I would be in my closet in between his clothes and his scent. Sleep would consume me, but never before tears.
Ed was pissed at me, and I couldn't help him. He invited this.
It's been a month, and I still have no clue about Gray. I have been calling my friend James daily, but still no updates. He is trying his best, and I get it. What bothers me is not getting any results; at least a clue would be sufficient, but none. We didn't do any searching in the sea area; the possibility was less, and now I could conclude he had escaped by sea route. We thoroughly checked everywhere, but again, no result; no one saw him.
It's been two months, and there's no clue about Gray. I started feeling nauseous because of alcohol or whatever I was not getting. These days, I felt like puking off my food whenever I had it, and I would end up puking my guts out. I started to like my own company because there was no one to bother or question, and the main thing was that I could let my tears flow as they wanted and whenever I wanted. I want to imprison myself and get lost in my thoughts.
I was going through depression. I know very well, and I don't want any help. My family members, Ed and Thomas, are trying their best to talk to me and divert my mind, but I am successful in ghosting everyone.
I like what I am going through, and I feel connected with Gray through my suffering.