"Get married."
For a moment, I thought as if my ears were ringing, but then I asked again.
"What did you say?"
"Get married," he said the same thing again.
I took a step backward in fear.
So, was that an act of how father behaved with me a while ago? No no, I refuse to believe it. Maybe my father is worried about me so he wants me to get married so that I will lead a good life.
"You don't need to worry about my marriage. I'm sure I will be okay however I stay with you two, so." I said with a forced smile on my face, but dad's smile vanished soon, giving me goosebumps with each word.
"As I said, marriage will save our family, so you have to," he said.
"But—"
"No, but Bernice. You will get married eventually, so why not get married now when you can save our family as well as your brother's life," he said while he was sitting in his chair, crossing his legs.
"But father—"
He was not even letting me speak.
"You don't need to worry. I already decided whom you are going to marry, and you will get married tomorrow. I hope you won't disappoint me," he said.
I was left all shocked at the speech. I'm too shocked to speak anything. Even if I speak, he will not let me speak, so I didn't argue more but returned to my room while my tears kept on falling from my cheeks. I wiped them numerous times, but they kept on falling without my approval.
"Lady, what happened?"
"Is everything okay?" Nanny saw me and asked.
"No, nothing is okay."
"Everything is falling apart."
"Nothing is going the way I want."
"Yeah, everything is falling apart. Everything is strangling me. Everything is whispering to me to die, but I'm unable to accept any of their requests, so I'm crying."
I don't know what I'm saying, but it sounds weird from my lips.
"What are you talking about?"
"Lady, tell me what you feel," she said, but I hugged and cried in her arms for hours. No one is seeing me. I don't want anyone to see me as well, but I want to be like this for a while until I feel like a big burden is falling down my shoulder.
After a while
"You okay now?" the nanny asked while putting ice on my eyes.
I nodded.
"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked while gently pressing ice on my eyes.
"I'm going to get married," I said while she stopped her hand.
"Why did you stop?" I asked.
"Lady, you agreed?" she asked.
I nodded again.
She didn't ask me anything else, but the next thing I found the entire mansion was decorated like a new bride, which I had never seen before in this place. I never thought this place could look this good if it was decorated, but for the disappointment, I won't be here after today.
"You ready?" Father asked while I was still dressing.
"Yes, I am," I just agreed just like usual. But my heart is thumping louder. I'm scared. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of Dad. I'm scared of this marriage. I'm scared of the person I'm marrying. Yeah, everything is so scary as if a monster is trying to eat me up while burying a fear seed inside me.
"You okay?" Father asked me again, unlike other times.
Yeah, I know it is another act of his, but I played along until I saw the face I knew for a long time right in front of me on the altar while I was holding my father's hand and walking closer to him.
"Happy now?" Father asked while I turned to him. My eyes were getting all teary, but my heart was bursting with happiness. The more I see the face of my father, the more he looks glowing. He is even smiling, which I saw for the very first time.
How did he know?
I wanted to ask, but I couldn't until he placed my hand on his, letting me be the happiest bride in this entire empire.
"You, Alexavier Agnes, are you willing to take Miss. Bernice Balliol as your legal wife?" the priest asked.
I was staring at his lips just to hear those two words.
"I do," he said. Yeah, he did.
"You, Bernice Balliol, are you willing to take Duke Alexavier Agnes as your legal husband?" he asked.
I didn't even delay any further but said, "I do."
"Now you may kiss the bride," he said.
My heart again started thumping louder. It happened even faster when he slowly approached me, but he didn't come much closer to me, but he stayed a bit far and raised my veil and kissed my cheeks, to my surprise.
What was that?
I felt as if I said it out loud so I stared everywhere and there, where my father was laughing, but he hid it when I saw him.
"You are such a hideous person, Father," I muttered.
"Did you say something?" Alexavier said.
"Ah, nothing," I denied and walked down.
It all feels like a dream. Everything happened too fast. I got married to Duke Alexavier Agnes. My family was saved from bankruptcy. And everything seems so good. But now only one thing is left.
The first night.
What will happen now?
Is he going to make love to me the way I read romance novels?
I'm not sure, but my face is burning just from the thought.
"Madam, shall we go?" He spoke again while lending me his hand as if he is asking me if he can escort me.
I didn't even delay but gave it. I went inside the carriage, but he didn't come. He rode a horse and was walking beside me, which felt closer but as well so far.
Why is it?
What is this fear again
running down my spine?"