"Lady Bernice"
"Wake up! It is so late."
"The marquis will be angry if you keep doing this."
I keep hearing the nanny's voice. Am I in heaven? Is God letting me hear the nanny's voice as a farewell?
"Lady, it is getting late!" Her voice was even louder.
I, too, started opening my eyes. As I opened my eyes, I saw the bright sun ray falling on my face while my nanny was removing the curtains.
Lady, have you woken up?" Nanny asked.
"Nanny?" I spoke.
"Yes, lady!"
"Nanny, is it you? Did you die too? Did you come to heaven to accompany me?" I'm asking so many questions.
"Lady, what are you saying? Did you have a bad dream? Are you feeling unwell?" She placed her hand on my head. It feels so cold, yet so real.
Wait, let me call the doctor, "she said, about to leave. I ran after her and stopped her.
"No, nanny!!"
"Don't!!!"
"Don't go!! If you go, then I will be left alone here." I stopped her.
"Lady, what are you saying?" She looked clueless.
"Lady, you are not dead. And you are not in heaven. Come to your senses for God's sake!" She shook me like crazy.
My head spun for a while, and then my eye fell on the mirror.
I look so young.
"Nanny, how old am I?" I asked.
"You are sixteen years old, my lady! " she said.
Sixteen? So, did I? Did I return to a year before? No, I can't believe it. Or was that a dream? No, it can't be. The pain was so real. I can still feel that sword piercing through my skin and ripping me apart from the inside.
Lady, are you okay?" she asked me again.
My tears started falling from my eyes. I can't explain just how painful it was. I was dying. Yeah, someone was killing me; no, he almost killed me so mercilessly.
"Lady, why are you crying out so much?" I can hear her, but I can't stop.
The feeling of being alone for years was no joke. It was painful living in a place where no one likes me but treats me like an outsider. It was no joke how I felt when the one I had admired for years didn't even come to my room for the first night. It was no joke how the workers looked at me. It was no joke how I felt when the duke raised his voice and left me in the middle of dinner just because I said I knew what she didn't want me to know.
"Lady, stop crying!" My tears are not stopping.
"Ah, greetings, My lord," Nanny's voice changed. And she only calls my father Lord.
I looked up to see, and I found my father standing in front of me. His green snake eyes are scary as usual, but still, I held him. I could tell he was surprised when I held him. But surprisingly, he didn't push me but held me tightly, so near his heart.
I cried out even louder.
"Father, I don't want to die!"
"I want to live!" I know they won't understand the meaning behind my words, but I'm still telling them.
"Yeah, no one will touch you," the father said.
I can feel the daughter inside me smiling, seeing how my father cares for me.
"Sister!"
"Sister, what happened to you?" It's my brother, Excalibur.
I let go of my father. I wiped my tears.
"You shouldn't be here. You should go attend your class." Yeah, it is what is important in his life.
No, sister, you shouldn't just say this when you are crying so much. Tell me who scolds you, and I will teach him a lesson!" He is in full form while still holding that wooden sword in his hand.
"No one did." I'm trying again to be okay.
"No, you should tell me what made you cry so much. Tell me, what is going on? Did anyone trouble you?" Father asked me gently.
I couldn't say anything but said, "I miss my mother."
As I took my mother's name, my tears flew even more than I thought.
"Sister," that little brat, ran to me and hugged me. He wasn't even reaching near my height, but he could still reach my waist. I can feel wet knowing he is crying as I take his mother's name.
"It is ok," dad said, holding both of us at once.
I don't know how soothing I felt when he embraced me, but it made me sleepy. I know my father doesn't like someone who is so lazy or who sleeps so much, but I knew he would let this time go.
But I will never forget what happened to me. I will never forgive Duke Alexavier Agnes for treating me this way, which I never felt. I will never let myself fall in love with him again so that I can embrace my death once more.
"I will never marry you."
"I will never love you."
"You are nothing but trash for me."
I fell asleep while mumbling something that I'm not sure is audible to others or not.
But as I close my eyes, I again find myself in a dark space. Someone was running toward me holding a long sword that was sharp enough to behead me with one slash.
"You mock my parents' deaths, so why are you living so peacefully? Just die!!!!"
No, I don't want to.
"Die so that there would be no one to mock my parent's death."
"I will avenge my parents with your death."
No, I didn't do anything. He can't kill me. I didn't do anything.
Duke, you killed me.
How could you do this to me when I was so in love with you? If I wanted to spend my life with you, then how could you kill me?
Duke Alexavier Agnes, I hope you never cross paths with me, or one day I will pick up the sword and show you how it feels.