I awoke suddenly when I felt that crushing feeling in my abdomen. Right on cue, my terrible cramps had begun to start. I got into the fetal position and started to hold my stomach. In the past, I had tried everything and nothing could get rid of my cramps. They never lasted long about half a day, but it was unbearable. The tears were forming in my eyes as I tried to wriggle into any position that would relieve the wave of pain.
After a few moments it passed and I waited for the next surge of intensity. The second time around I let out a huff of breath and groaned. Tae must have heard it and he lifted up the covers and looked down at me smiling. "Good Second Mor" He stopped and I watched as his face turned to panic. "Rina what's wrong? Are you okay?" "My stomach, it hmmm." I groaned again. Tae's face changed from panic, to regret. "Where does it hurt Rina?" I clutched my lower abdomen. "Did I hurt you? Is this because of me?" I shook my head no.
"I'm so sorry, tell me what to do. How can I make it better?" He obviously didn't take my answer at face value. His eyes were looking at me, calculating. What? I didn't know. He didn't move for a minute as I watched him, it seemed he was trying to come up with a plan of attack. Another wave of pain hit me and I couldn't care less what he was doing, I focused on my breaths to ease the pain away.
Tae then looked at me, "Do you have a heating pad?" I shook my head, no. He grabbed the pillow off of my bed and then left. I went through a few rounds of intense pain, and became incoherent. I could make it through this. I breathed in and out. In and out. In and out. Tae made it back holding the pillow case that was full of something and tied with one of my hair ties. He got under the covers and placed it directly on my abdomen. It made my skin feel hot and numb, finally giving me some relief. It felt like I could withstand the bouts of pain better. He then came back with a pill and some water. He pulled the box from within his pocket. "I think this is for pain" he looked at me, it was my ibuprofen.
I gladly took the pill knowing it would take the edge off, but it wouldn't do that much. When my period came I couldn't walk the first day. The doctors never had any reason as to why I was like this. After taking the pain pill, I started to smile. I was in excruciating pain but it felt good to be taken care of. It had been years since someone cared for me. He began to rub my back, "Are you feeling better?" I nodded to him, words were feeling especially hard today.
"Is it always like this Rina? Are you sure I didn't make your cramps worse?" I shook my head. "I'm always like this, don't worry it will go away in a few hours." His face looked dumbfounded. "Don't tell me not to worry. Look at you, you can't even sit straight. I've never seen anyone in so much pain." "Have you seen a doctor? This isn't normal." Another wave hit and I curled into myself. I was now full on crying from the pain. After a few moments I was able to release my tensed abdomen. "The doctor says it's normal." I got out through gritted teeth.
That was when Tae noticed what I was hoping to avoid. I had bled out of my pad and into a large puddle on my mattress. I've leaked many times, that's why I have a waterproof mattress cover. That was normal for me. The giant puddle was not.
It didn't happen when I was sleeping though, it must've happened once the cramps started. His eyes grew wide.
"This isn't normal Rina, I'm.. I'm taking you to the hospital now." I bit back. "No" I soften, "Sorry but I can't go Tae" "I'm fine. I feel fine." He looked at me pensively. "Is this normal for you? Oh god, Rina. Are you bleeding this much because of what I did to you? I'm so sorry, I don't really know that much about this kind of stuff" I tried to look away from his gaze, "The pains are totally normal… for me."
He reached for me, gently grabbing my chin to force him to look at me. "Do you always bleed this much?" I shook my head and whispered. "No" Immediately he spoke. "I'm taking you to the hospital. Where are your pants?" I shook my head.
"I work at a hospital, there is nothing they can do unless I'm losing too much blood." He looked at the mess I was in. "You've lost too much blood" I looked at him, "This isn't that much, I've seen worse with some of my patients and they are fine and" I stopped hoping he didn't hear the and part. Of course he did, "And?" I didn't want a fight. I felt gross and I could feel the next wave of cramps coming. "And Tae Woo, I don't have health insurance so I'm not going. I can't afford it."
He grabbed my hand. "I'll pay." "Tae, just leave it please." I huffed. "I'm going to get cleaned up." He looked me over, studying me, and then sighed. "If I notice any signs of you acting funny, I will take you to the hospital, I will even drive you there myself. I'm watching you, if you start getting dizzy, or look pale, or just start being different we are going to the hospital." I conceded and nodded my head. "Now please just stay there for a moment, I'll be right back." I heard some shuffling and then the front door opening and closing, the lock clicking.