TW: strong language, drowning
We finished the whole anime in one sitting, taking a few breaks between episodes. I was feeling much better, my cramps were very painful for the short time I had them.
I was still bleeding extremely heavily but I hid that fact from Tae. I was just so happy to have him touching and holding me. We cried together in the beginning of the anime, we even oohed and awwed.
Tae made a point to kiss me every time I looked at him, a quick kiss on the forehead, or a passionate kiss. I never knew what was in store.
Once we finished, I remembered I needed to wash my scrubs for tomorrow night. It was my first day back to work since Tae came to live with me.
I was throwing the laundry into the washer when Tae asked,
"Do you have to go back to work soon?"
"I do" I hit the start button and looked at him, leaning my back against the washer.
"I work tomorrow night at 11pm, I'll be back in the morning. Will you be okay?" I met his eyes, and then he looked down at my stomach.
"Will you be okay?" I patted his shoulder, "of course I'll be okay".
I walked into the kitchen ready to make tacos, I pulled out the ground beef and Tae followed me.
"Are you sure?" He coyly eyed me.
I plopped the package of meat into a pan and started to cook it.
"I'm always okay, Tae. No need to worry."
He frowned. "That's exactly why I worry about you. You… you… you had drowned, and you were fine a few minutes later. You didn't even seem affected. I was terrified. Yet, you kept moving on. I think you won't let anyone worry for you. I've never seen so much blood earlier today, and here you are cooking dinner. That's not.. I'm just worried that's all. You don't have anyone to take care of you."
I stopped and turned towards Tae, the pan sizzling behind us.
"I don't need anyone to take care of me."
I gave him a kiss on the lips, "Thank you though, I mean technically you did save me. I am forever in your debt." I curtsied in jest.
He quickly pushed me up by my forehead. "Don't do that to me, that's weird." I nodded and went back to cooking while he leaned on the counter next to me, studying me.
After a few minutes I spoke, "Just tell me what is on your mind, stop staring."
He retorted, "I'm not staring, I'm contemplating."
I laughed, "What are you contemplating in there? If you want to blow a kiss or give a peace sign at the finale of your next concert?" I laughed, he did not.
"Rina, Why did you offer to swim, when you can't swim?"
Shit, he had to bring up such a serious topic when I was just making fun of him. I turned off the burner and walked to the fridge getting out the tortillas, cheese, lettuce, salsa, and sour cream.
With my back still turned, "I was being rebellious. My parents have kept me away from the water and I never dared to disobey. Even now, as an adult. I just said fuck it, and decided I would do it. I guess I've been doing that a lot lately." I turned and looked him up and down.
"What did I do?" He laughed as he spoke.
He broke the brief silence. "So why do your parents still keep you from the water?"
I had never really opened up about this with anyone besides Tori. When I did we were like young 14 year olds. I was much stronger then. I was feeling my walls crumble and I wanted to reject the feelings. I took in the white walls of my kitchen, and the dark oak cabinets. My hand steadied on the white quartz countertop giving me the last bit of strength I needed.
"Well actually, my Mom is dead." I let the words sit in the air for a second. I wanted to peek at Tae's face and see if he was ready to run. I couldn't though. I couldn't bear that rejection yet. We just got started today, and maybe I truly wasn't enough.
I lifted my head. His eyes were dark, and serious. "My parents met on the swim team in high school. They both loved the water. Any spare minute they had was spent in a body of water somewhere. Most of my early childhood we vacationed in tropical islands and on boats.
Hence, my name Marina. That translates in English to a sort of harbor on the water." I smiled. I still remembered those happy times as a kid. My parents had loved me so much, it was almost too perfect.
Tae seemed like he noticed my apprehension. "You don't need to continue right now, I'm sorry for forcing this out of you. I didn't realize."
I shook my head, "No it's alright. We were on some tropical island doing an ocean tour on a small boat. Just us three. I was just about to turn 4. I actually was enrolled in swimming lessons. They just hadn't started yet. Nonetheless, I couldn't swim, my life jacket wasn't buckled properly and no one had noticed. We hit bad weather and the waves started to get larger. We were already trying to get back to land, when a wave broke on us and I was thrown out of the boat. My life jacket was lost in the process. My dad was driving the boat, and watched my mom jump in to save me. He too turned off the boat and jumped into the water. My life jacket was floating on the surface, and I was sinking into the darkness."
I felt the tears sting my eyes, and I wiped at it with my sleeve. Two warm strong hands braced my shoulders. I kept my gaze pointed at our feet. I was determined to get this out.
"My mom actually found me, and surfaced. While my Dad swam to her with my life jacket that was when she realized I wasn't breathing.
They put the jacket on, and she gave me to my Dad. He was the stronger swimmer. He swam back to the boat just as another huge wave crashed over all of us knocking him into the boat. I think the jolt shocked me awake. I just remember screaming as my Dad's face was bloodied. He pulled us into the boat and buckled me into the driver seat. I was still screaming as I saw my Dad jump back into the water to look for my Mom.
It seemed like hours, but I was a kid. He finally came out with my Mom. As an adult I can now realize that was nearly impossible. We were in the ocean during a storm. I don't even know how he found her. I knew something was wrong as I saw her limp body. My dad laid over her, doing CPR. He worked on her for a while. He too was crying and screaming into the waves. He must've realized the futility of what he was doing and drove the boat back to the shore. He was screaming for help at the dock. I never saw my mother after that day. They didn't let me see her at the funeral."
I was bawlng into Tae's embrace. He too was crying. After about 15 minutes, my breathing slowed. I pushed myself away from him for a moment. Clearing my throat, by the look of hurt on Tae's face I knew he didn't want me to say a word more. He didn't want me to hurt like that. I too had never want to tell that story again, but somehow, I felt the roaring waves within me finally still.
"My Dad never let me go near the water ever again, I never swam again. I'm sure he had multiple reasons as to why he kept me from water. I did it for him though, I never wanted to force him to have to relive those terrifying memories. I guess I thought that maybe I had grown up enough to swim again. I think I was wrong, by my lack of actually swimming that night." I chuckled, Tae frowned.
"I'll teach you to swim. I promise." He wiped the tears from my cheeks. He brought me in for a big hug, and he began to whisper, it was barely audible but I knew what he said. "I'll help you heal."