"The night is a mysterious and fascinating time of the day. In its blackness, it offers us a chance to reflect and contemplate, allowing us to search for answers within ourselves. While some may find it scary or lonely, the quiet peace of the night can also be soothing and calming, providing a chance for rest and relaxation. As the sun begins to set and night begins to fall, the world around us grows quieter, and we are left with a sense of stillness mixed with a sense of possibility. In the night, we can forget about the stresses of the day and focus on ourselves, rediscovering what really matters."
-unknown
On the night of my coronation as queen, the world was exactly like yesterday, which is completely logical. People returned to their lives and everything returned as it was. Only the people outside the palace celebrated the coronation of a strong and great queen. The simplicity of those who live in the shade of the sun terrifies me, as they are happy with me and I. I am not happy with myself, and it bothers me that I have become just an idea, and the mere title of "Queen" of my forgotten reality has a greater chance of not existing at all, and I cannot know my feelings towards that scar.
My heart and body were already covered with scars, and I didn't mind carving a deeper scar on my body. If it meant saving me from myself, I wouldn't hesitate.
Since I was young, I wondered about the truth of everything, and I completely distanced myself from the truth about myself. If I had not saved myself, I would have believed that I was what others said about me.
Xiao Yan entered my room, "Why are you awake? Queen," she said with a malicious laugh, even if she found out that I owned the whole world, she still wouldn't respect me.
I was looking out the window. I turned to her, "At least knock on the door if you still know that I am a queen."
"It's just... I'm hurt by the fact that you will never be the same again."
"You know that I only became queen a few hours ago, right? I didn't have enough time to change... and I won't change for you."
She sat on my bed next to me, "Okay then, that's good.." She looked at the sky outside the window, "Shushin, what do you think you will be in our next life?"
"For myself, I would like to never be born again, but maybe a star would be great."
She was pouting, "You're saying this because this life is hurting you, but maybe the next life will be happy and free, where you can be anything."
"But why do you suddenly mention this?"
"I think one life is not enough. I want to see all sides of you."
I laughed, "Aw.. but how will we find each other? Maybe we will be born in different countries."
"This is easy. Even if a thousand years pass, I will wait for you here, so make sure that you come as soon as possible. The name of this kingdom may disappear, but it will certainly exist as another name. You should come. I will put up a post looking for you. It will be a way for us to communicate, whatever method useوBy the people of this era, I will do it to find you."
"That's very kind of you"
"But you will certainly not be a queen. What will you do? Since you will have freedom? Do you have a specific dream?"
"I don't know, I don't have a dream, how frustrating, I don't want to be anything, I guess disappearing is a good full-time job"
"You are good at dancing, maybe you can become an unknown dancer."
"Oh, you know my uncle won't stand this, he'll really go crazy, he'll say something like how can a former queen become a dancer??"
She was silent for a while, as if she thought she had suggested a good idea, "Oh? So I'll be a dancer, but not anonymous haha, then you can reach me, I'll make sure I'm famous so you can find me."
"Okay, let's make sure we meet in our next life."
"But you know what? I wouldn't mind if I never met you again in this life."
I looked at her questioningly, and she continued, "This is because whenever I look at the sky, I will find you shining throughout the sky of a city, in the lights of the night, and in the light of the moon."
I stopped looking and laughed lightly, "Oh, I think we both will shine in our own way, the brightest stars in the sky."
"Do you think because we haven't liked anyone for a long time that this makes our conversation a little romantic?"
"I really wanted to ask you this. Do you suffer from schizophrenia? During the day even seeing you makes my eyes hurt, but at night you become a completely different person."
Xiao Yan laughed, "I think the night touches something deep in my soul, I can't stop the river of emotions flowing within me."
Xiao Yan spoke again, "Speaking of admiration, do you have someone you have a crush on?"
"Liking? I don't really think so, but maybe there's someone I'm interested in."
She approached me, "Oh my God, are you kidding? Do you already have a boyfriend?"
I looked at her, "Wait a minute, when did the conversation turn to this side? I'm sure I said I was interested in him, but I didn't say it was romantic interest."
She hit my shoulders with her hands while laughing shyly and maliciously, "Caring means love. Why would you care about a man you don't love?"
I looked in front of me again, "But he is considered my grandfather?..."
Even though I wasn't looking at her face, I knew what she looked like. The smile disappeared and she ignited a serious mood, "Damn, are you kidding? You're becoming a good actress."
"Um, no, I'm not lying..." I was about to continue, but she interrupted me
"Look... I don't want to meet you in my next life, I would be grateful if I didn't meet you in my current life." Then she got up from my bed and ran to the door.
I laughed to myself and said, "That means some days off. Good job, Shushin."
I tried to sleep, it was already after midnight but I was still awake so I decided to get dressed and go to the man who says he is not my grandfather, as it is the only place I can drink alcohol in this palace currently.
When I arrived, I was afraid the door wouldn't open, but it did, and it made me incredibly happy for the first time in a long time.
I entered quietly, and smiled at him, "Hello, hello, thank you, thank you."
He looked at me surprised, "Did you drink alcohol?"
"No? I came to drink---"
"Then go out, there is no alcohol."
I pointed with my hand to the cupboard at the end of the room, "I saw a collection of wine, stop being stingy and share with me..."
He tapped on his bed as a signal for me to sit next to him, "Come, I will tell you a story."
I smiled and ran towards him, waiting for what exciting story tune I would hear today, since he might still remember when I told him that I wanted him to tell me about himself.
Just by looking into his eyes I know that what this man will be able to teach me and tell me about the world will be beautiful and exciting things, arousing my desire to know what world he sees with his wide eyes, where my world is fickle, and the worlds around me gently excite me as well...
He tells me a story.. It takes me to a far away world, makes me feel nostalgic, and feel like someone was waiting for me
He starts talking, to tell that story....
Despite my sadness at the true end of summer, I let the true and certain air of autumn stir my emotions as I dive into a world of painful and tender stories.