Shushin POV
After we escaped from the room, Heian and I were waiting for the others.
We were standing in the palace avenues, Xiao Yan and Ta Jin came together, then Tian Yang and Ha Shin.
And from one side of us came others.
"Oh, you came together then? I guess that's what you meant by fate then, your skill is mental, while ours is physical, since I'm the two of you you had to give me two people to fight."
Haine blew in the air, "How arrogant!"
Ta Jin spoke, "Oh, right, Heian, didn't you say that if the spoiled princess wins over you, you will call her my sister?"
"Damn, I thought you forgot. But why are you so confident that she won? "
"Maybe because your body is so full of spots that you look like a sponge??"
"You vile vixen, don't talk when you look like a sick dog!"
"You reminded me of my question, you bastard. Thank you. Don't tell me that you plan to make this idiot the next leader or something?"
Ha Shin replied, "He will not become the leader."
"Brother, how can you carelessly answer an intruder's question?"
"She is not an outsider anymore. She found out how stupid you are. If she were a normal outsider, we would have killed her, but she is a princess, so you will have to live in shame from now on."
"Be thankful, Xiao Yan. I wished he would have thrown me into the water, but he almost threw me into a volcano."
Xiao Yan shouted at him, "Why would you have a volcano in your dream?"
I whispered, "I asked him the same question then.. haha."
"Since I won, and I was kidnapped, insulted, and beaten, you should compensate me, right?"
Ha Shin said: "So, what do you want? We always keep our promise."
What a lie. Or a truth that became a lie in front of an unimportant person.
"Let's make an agreement between us. You, the Demon Clan, will support us in any mission when we need you, and of course I am not an evil woman. If you are in danger, I will help you."
"So simply, you want us to support the royal family? Right?"
"No, I don't care about that. We can never be friends in this kingdom. I'm an independent woman. You and us can work together in secret, be successors, or be friends."
"Why would you want us to become your successors?"
"And even though I hate to admit it, doesn't everyone want to be on your and our good side? I certainly want the best and you are the best. When I roam my world, I will need the strength and support of others. Even if I am a god, I will still need a companion.Maybe because I will never become a god."
Ta Jin asked, "And if we refuse?"
"I'll leave silently, but you'll have to find a new palace, because I'm going to burn this place down," I said, smiling.
"Such a scary woman," Ha Shin laughed.
"You really have level 4 demonic energy," Heian whispered.
I looked at her from the corner of my eye, no one heard what she said anyway, and the others didn't approach me so even if I had demon energy like the two girls said, it meant that only the demons would know, so why didn't Tianyang tell me? Will I believe those crazy people over my friend?
Ha Shin said, "I will accept the agreement. We are not obedient either, and many of us are causing unjustified problems. I hope we can make a deal with it." He almost approached me to greet me, but I put my feet back, "No need, I will trust you. I can kill your friends if they are traitors."
Ta Jin said, "Jian Yu, are you leaving with them?"
We were all back to our places, and Tian Yang was standing next to me. I gestured at Tian Yang with my hand, "Are you talking to him?"
Tian Yang turned to look at me, then extended his hands and said, "Hello, Miss Shushin, my name is Jian Yu," and smiled.
I laughed at that, and greeted him. "It seems we've both wasted a lifetime being different people," I said.
Looking at my hand in Jian Yu's hand, I'm still somewhat getting used to his name.. Ha Shin said: "I'm sure you're tired, stay here today and leave tomorrow."
I looked at him and smiled, "Thank you."
I thought that the next time I saw him by chance, I would be indifferent and cruel, and my God, I felt like death. going back to four years ago, which was certainly not only four years, I hated myself and this world, and I could not bear the slightest cruelty. I decided to leave the palace and give up being a princess. In the eyes of everyone, I was not "Shushen," but the daughter of a despicable woman. I did not know while I was growing up that I could be judged because of another person, and that I could not be free. As long as I am alive, and death is freedom, but I was not brave, so I wandered and wandered, wanting my fate to end at any moment during my journey. My feet took me to a place I do not remember. Then I saw a man who was injured and full of blood. I tried to save him, and thus was the beginning of my eternal misery and temporary happiness. It was the first time I loved a man, and I feared it would be the last.
He couldn't use his inner energy to go home, and I didn't know where his home was, so he approached, placed his forehead on mine, and thus gave me the memory of his home, etching it deep in my soul. I was tired and weary of the world, but he, despite his own pain, held me close. He said that it would be over soon and everything would be fine, and I wanted to believe him. I tried to believe him... and perhaps I did then. He told me that he was just a devil from a rich family, the first lie. And the beginning of every lie, I was a girl at the age of fifteen, and I thought that a strange man would change my life and make it full of happiness. I feel sad for myself, because I destroyed my heart myself. I was daydreaming every single day until i met him, he made my daydreams come true, when i was lost and tired he was there.. What do people expect from a girl who has no friends or family? What do I expect from myself? But I lied. I said that I was a devil like him too, and I did not admit that I was a princess, his enemy. I was afraid that he would leave me. I was afraid that I would give him a chance to leave me. I knew that if he abandoned me, I would never return, and I did not want to leave... I considered him a friend who gave me a temporary home, but in reality I was starting to like him. When he learned that I loved red, he made his entire garden filled with red trees and flowers. He told me that I resembled the beauty of the red orchid. From then on, I loved the orchid. At that time, I intended to spend my whole life with him.
And he loved me too. We spent several months in love, only he and I knew that we loved each other, but our affair was discovered after some time, and then the time of truth came, and the time for my dream and my love to end, he had to choose between me and his family, because later I told him that I wasn't truly a devil. He said that he would come back, and that he would always love me. I felt like I had died again, and that I had been abandoned, even though I told him, do not abandon me, and I will not abandon you. A year had passed and I was still in love with him, and I thought that he was still in love with just me and that he was a man who kept his promises. And I was an unforgettable woman, a woman he truly loved, but he said, "I will not come back, here we end," and he did not apologise. I did not know what was stronger, my anger, my love, or my sadness? In the end I learned that my anger and sadness may be like volcanoes, but my love is like the ocean. He taught me love, and he taught me pain too.
I don't know when I fell in love with him, how or why, but it seemed that I was slowly drawn to him from afar, and when I approached, I felt like I was dreaming. I wanted to hide and felt ashamed. I did not know at the time that I was falling, falling in love and in the pain of love, but when he started to love me, I felt alive. Again, and to be honest, this scared me. Being very alive means that at any moment you will be very dead. I told him, if you loved me very much, I would love you very much, but if you wanted to love me, I would have to be the first and the last, or not to be anything at all. I think that It didn't work out, maybe because he didn't love me enough, because I wasn't worthy enough, or maybe because I wasn't as important as other things to him. so even if I lived my whole life not loving either, I still wouldn't take a single step. I will never tell him that I love him again. He abandoned me twice, the first time when he promised me he would love me forever but ended up leaving, and the second time when I expressed my feelings and he rejected me. I wanted to wait for him all my life, but I wanted to make sure that he wanted to reach me even if it took him all his life, but it turned out that I was the only one who wasted months and years dreaming about him..
I always wrote, because I was hurt and only hurt people write, but during the entire period that I was near him, I did not write. Because my heart was at rest, but after parting from him, a revolution occurred in my heart, my fire was kindled and I became a woman. I have matured and become more lonely. The fate of women turned out to be more cruel than I expected.
He cursed me a thousand times. My first love.
I wrote to him a lot. The more I missed him, the more I loved him and the more I got angry. They said that far from the eyes is far from the heart, but perhaps I loved him more when he was far away.
In my diary, I wrote:
"All memories never left
They are here with me protecting me
As long as my heart is still beating, they won't die they won't leave
Every time I open my eyes, they're in my bed telling me the past
I know I ask a lot, but can you not leave until tomorrow?
One more minute, an hour, a whole day by your side is not enough for me
Even if the world gives us millions of chances to be together, I will keep asking for more
you and me, beside the long road
A song for two, it never ends
Until the world ends
And even then, We'll die holding hands, across rivers and mountains, with you to the end
I don't ask for much, right?
I say as long as you don't leave me I won't leave you,
but if you leave me I feel like I'll look for you for another day
even in silence carries the answer
Memories never left
They are here with me, even if I die I will engrave them on my body, so tell the world, my son, that I have a lover who does not die
He's here with me, forever
We met before, when it was dark and blue
I was walking, hoping i won't go home
Your body was all blood, hiding
My tears where hiding too
I was lost, tired and broken
But you held me closer, told me it gonna be over soon
I trusted you, even though i knew
It won't be true
Because all i knew before is lies
We met before, so i knew your face
I knew it will hurt me, i know you forget me too.."