Sorry to all my readers. I know that after reading this part of the story, many will curse me and take me as a villain, but you should understand my situation in my mind. Not a single soul is right all the time. And, It is through our rational mind that we should make the decisions. I should take some time and address a concern with everyone. Especially to all those young lovers, reading this, please don't jump to conclusions too soon.
We shouldn't jump to conclusions too soon. And I learned this the hard way. This part of the story should be a lesson to all of you, that what we see is not always right. And jumping to conclusions about anything is a bad way to learn the lesson. There can be terrible consequences of jumping to conclusions too soon. Oftentimes, our course of actions leads to long-term damage, particularly in personal settings involving friends or families. In relationships, making assumptions without seeking any clarification can often lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. These misunderstandings can intensify over time and act as a cancer in the bond between individuals. Thus breaking their trust and love.
It was just like any normal day at class. Another day and another encounter at the school, but in my mind, it sparked a whirlwind of doubts and insecurities regarding my position. I didn't realize that I was overthinking about the situation.
There came a boy from another school and almost immediately he was the talk of the class. He was smart, good-looking, and an extreme womanizer. It was his first day at this class, and he was already flirting with the girls of my class. Flirting with others wasn't my problem, but he chose to flirt with my crush. And that was unwanted, and I was triggered almost instantly. I should warn the youngsters out there, jealousy on certain occasions and certain levels may demonstrate a partner's love towards one another, but when it's left unchecked, it can become toxic and destroy the relationship.
Of course, I shouldn't have assumed anything so soon, but I just couldn't accept the fact of someone else taking my position. One can definitely say that I was insecure about my own self and my own position. And that is why I was feeling so jealous. But I still had a perception that she isn't like other girls. She won't pay any heed to a stranger, and that too, a guy of his stature. But there seems to be a problem.
As days passed, I started to notice that she wasn't as responsive to my messages. Whenever I used to text her, she would reply promptly, but now she doesn't reply on time and oftentimes doesn't even see the messages. These unanswered texts were making me restless as I suspected the worst-case scenario. But instead of making sure, I believed that she was interested in that boy instead of me. In my mind, I decided it was all over, and so I decided to stop talking or texting with her. Every day at the class, when our eyes met, she would say high or wave at me, but I simply went past her. I didn't talk to her and didn't reply to her messages. I know, one time she texted me, asking me if everything was ok. But I put her number on the block list. The way she talked with him and laughed further fuelled the scenarios of betrayal and heartbreak. I wouldn't even see her, and this didn't go unnoticed by her.
One day at the school, she confronted me. I was starting to leave, but she stood in front of me, looking straight at me. I tried not to look at her, but she wasn't going to let this go easily.
What's the issue? Why are you ignoring me? Is there any problem? Your behaviour is shaky.. she said.
But I was so hurt that I couldn't hold on and shouted at her,
"Leave me alone," I said in front of her, while my loud voice caught everyone's attention.
I left the scene at once, not thinking how she felt. I know it was bad, I am sorry for it. I was jealous of a stranger. I just couldn't accept the scene.
The friendship we had was broken. And I was the one to break it. I didn't go to school for the next couple of days. I just couldn't face her after that. It often came to me that I should say sorry to her. After all, it's really her choice. Who am I to judge?
But my ego wouldn't let me say sorry. Ego is a bad thing. It is the worst personality that was ever formed. It destroys lives and families. My ego consumed me so badly that I even removed her from one of my social media accounts. The ego, which is often associated with pride, can sometimes prevent individuals from acknowledging their mistakes and expressing remorse for their actions. In my situation, it was crucial to understand the role of ego and the impact of not apologizing.
But after our friendship was broken, one of her friends decided to confront me, asking me why I did it?
According to her friend, my actions hurt her so much that she left the school's hall crying. She was considering me to be at fault. And I was so frustrated that I told her everything. But what she told me was eye-opening but was it too late, that was the question.?
From her close friends, I got to know that there was nothing serious between them, but rather she was interested in me.
Wait! I asked her how she was so sure, to which she replied that she would tell them about a guy whom she finds interesting, that the guy was different from everyone else. After she left crying that day, her friends once asked her if I was the guy she was interested in, to which she looked down and told them, "He moved on."
Is it really true? Did I just destroy the relationship on my own? I was shaken. I cried again and again, thinking of the terrible mistake I had made. I should have talked to her or apologized to her regarding my position. But I was too afraid to say anything.
What will I say to her?How will I face her?
These questions kept me awake all night, but I didn't know what to do. Nonetheless, will she ever give me a chance after seeing how I responded. The problem was me, these psychological traits. To all of my readers, who are cursing me now, believe me, I didn't do anything on purpose. I questioned my existence and how dumb I was to destroy such a crucial opportunity.
Maybe the problem was in me, I wasn't able to see anyone get close to her. I was an insecure and jealous person. And it was my mistake that threw me down.