There are times when our mind says something, but our heart wants something else. And oftentimes, we choose to be with our mind, but our mind is not always the right answer.Our mind represents our logical thinking and our rational side, while our hearts show our emotions and desires. Oftentimes, in critical situations, these two aspects of our lives can pull us in different directions, which in turn leaves us torn in between what seems to be practical and what seems to be right. However, sometimes you should consider both, but value your heart the most.
My insecurities regarding the relationship broke the bond we had. I was reluctant to say sorry because of my ego. But, perhaps after hearing from her friend, she should have forgiven me. But neither of us was willing to make the first step. Maybe she thought I should be the one to step up and apologize to her. And in my mind, my ego wouldn't let me say sorry to her. Both of us were consumed by ego. Or is it our similar personality traits that were making the problem? As they say in physics, like charges repel, unlike charges attracted. In a way, she had similar psychological traits as me, which is why things just didn't work out..
In the months that followed, the distance between us grew deeper. None of us wanted to take the step ahead. Every day, I would try to find a way to say to her, but I was too ashamed and too afraid to have the courage to approach her. Every day, I would re-read our past conversations, searching for clues on how to mend our broken bond. I longed to hear her voice, even if it meant it would be for the last time, but my stubborn ego wouldn't budge.
And by this time, we had already reached the final exams. The busy schedule of the final exam was really putting an end to it. It was our final exam for school as well. And while we got busy pursuing our studies, it was all over. After finishing school, she later went to London to study in a law college. On the final day of the exam, I saw her leaving. She hugged her friends as they held her tight, covered in tears. As she walked away, I couldn't help but wonder if only things would have been different, and I set my ego aside . Perhaps our bond would have been stronger, and there could have been a future for us.
It was painful to let her go, as I was madly in love with her. But then I knew it was probably my fault for the downfall of our relationship, our bond. And the sweet friendship we had built.
I should tell you guys something. For the first time in my life, I cried for someone. She was everything for me, my art, my inspiration. I tried to find solace in the memories of our time together and the lessons I had learned. It was during this period of reflection that I realized how much I had grown through the experience.
It was her decision to pursue law and study abroad, who am i to judge her. And so ,I decided to turn onto my hobbies, connecting with old school friends. Basically, I was doing everything that keeps me focused and drives me forward.
As the months turned into a year, I accepted the fact that our relationship was officially over. But the pain of losing her wasn't letting me go, each day it would remind me of the day I shouted at her., but I came to understand that sometimes, love isn't strong enough to keep two people together, it is our understanding and our efforts to keep it together. Life took us on separate paths, and so , it's better to accept fate.
My insecurities had played a significant role in the failure of our relationship, so I vowed to let go of my ego and develop myself, learning from my past mistakes, and ensuring that I wouldn't let it happen again in the future.
The question of whether ego is greater than love is a complex question to answer, as both ego and love are two of the most common aspects of human nature, however it can significantly influence our behavior, decisions, and relationships. Love needs vulnerability, humility, and a willingness to put others' needs before our own, whereas ego often prioritizes self-interest. In my situation, it was my selfishness and self obsessed character that destroyed everything.
Ego often creates a barrier between an individual and his heart, thus forbidding him to seek forgiveness and reconciliation. In conflicts between mind and heart, an inflated ego may prevent individuals from admitting their mistakes, such was the case with me. It doesn't let the individuals apologize or take responsibility for their actions. The desire to be "right" all the time or to maintain a fall sense of superiority can definitely hinder a relationship.
An, in times of such difficult situations, one must always choose his heart. After all, love is a delicate feeling and requires care to flourish. And for any decision on the matter of love, our heart should get the most priority. For example, my heart was signaling me to tell her ,I am sorry, but my mind got in the middle and threw my heart off. If only I had listened to my heart, she would have been with me.
Asking for forgiveness is a powerful example of following our hearts. Nobody ever felt down for asking forgiveness. It takes a great deal of courage and humility to acknowledge our mistakes and seek reconciliation with others. When we apologize for our actions, we demonstrate empathy and guilt for our actions. This shows our willingness to take responsibility for our behavior.
It's true that asking for forgiveness can be a difficult job, but it can also lead to profound healing and the restoration of broken relationships. Seeking forgiveness is an expression of respect and a means to show our feelings for the person we have hurt, and it shows our commitment and dedication to make amends. In my case, I had this misconception that if I had asked forgiveness, it would hurt my honour. It is my misconception and insecurities driven by my ego and selfishness that broke our bond. And now I was trying to forget her. But do we ever forget our first love?