The feeling where we are afraid to try new things and the reason that we give for not trying that is... "I hate changes you know, what if I fail or I am happy just like this why to do that." Most of us are just like this, where we have this fear of trying something news or getting things changed. In short, we are habitual to stay in our own comfort zone and if something forced up to change that, then we got uncomfortable and such feelings start haunting our mind.
However, there always comes a time in ones life where we have to be the part of this feeling, either your destiny will lead you there or some guardian angel would come to be part of that journey, which will change you life forever.
.......
Once I got fully dressed up in formal clothes, I look myself in the mirror and honestly, even I am doubting myself because I am not believing this person to be as me. Leaving everything aside I pick up my phone from the side table, to keep in my pocket but not before checking if I have any kind of message from Vihaa and there is a message from her side...
Vihaa: Best of luck kiddo, I knew it that you must have forgotten about your resume. (With a wink emoji attach)
And seeing that I hit the back of my head softly scolding myself mentally for forgetting such an important thing. I immediately, open the resume file which she has sent me and read it thoroughly. As soon as I finished reading it I type a message to Vihaa and send it...
Me: Thank you, so much. You are my saviour.
She replied immediately...
Vihaa: No need to thank me kiddo, I did what we had decided yesterday. And yeah now leave your room with bag on your shoulder and phone in your pocket. Do your breakfast, then leave the house and get the print out of the resume, lastly give it your best in the interview.
Siya: Okay teacher (Smiling widely)
Like she said in the message I follow her direction step by step, picking up my bag and phone I leave the room, go towards the dining hall to have my breakfast. Though her messages make me smile but still there is this unknown knot in me that I am feeling in my stomach, I am feeling restless and there is this heaviness in my stomach as if something bad is going to happen, I am feeling an unknown fear in me that is telling me not to go and give that interview.
However, I tried to remain determined to give this interview by only thinking about Vihaa as somewhere inside me I am sure about it that whether I have someone with me or not but I have her with me in every battle. Soon I reached the dining hall, to my surprise there is no one sitting at the dinning table, which is quite strange as usually father, aunt and granny do their breakfast at time but I heard sounds coming from the kitchen of utensils moving so, it means mother is there.
I walk inside the kitchen, to get me a glass of milk for me because she is busy in cooking so, I have to prepare my special breakfast and which is bread butter. As I walk inside the kitchen, mother turn to look at me and she do it in a flow i.e. going from top to bottom, once she get over with it then she look into my eyes and with a genuine smile she started speaking..
Mother: For the first time in your life you are looking like a girl, you are looking beautiful.
Me: Ohh okay.
Mother: Drink your milk, eat bread butter then leave the house. And do reach at the interview place on time.
Me: Yeah okay. (O please, I am planning to reach at the place fifteen minutes before)
After this I eat my breakfast silently, she also make the breakfast for everyone except me, silently. Once my breakfast got over, I bid my mother good bye then leave the house. As instructed by Vihaa I walk towards a stationary shop which is in the next lane of my house, after reaching there I get myself a print out of the resume and keep in the bag neatly. Once again I settled my bag back on my shoulder, then I halt a local vehicle because the place is just twenty minutes away far.
The moment I got settled down in the vehicle, I plug my earphones in and play Earned It by Weekend. Just like this twenty minutes passed by, I reach the place where interview will take place by listening to the song. The local vehicle move ahead after dropping me and taking the money, then I pause the song and I keep my earphones back in the bag. After this I start walking inside the building, while doing so, I checked the time in my phone which is nine forty five and I mentally pat myself for being early for the interview.
As soon as I entered inside the building, I found the receptionist sitting there. I go and stand in front of her table, after a minute or so she raise her head and look at me, seeing this I initiated the conversation..
Me: Ma'am I came here for the interview.
Receptionist: O yeah I remember. Please sit there (She raise her hands towards her right, a big couch was kept there.)
I just nod my head in approval and follow her instructions, once I get settled down on the couch, I checked the time again which says only ten minutes left for interview to start. The knot and fear that I was feeling earlier returned back, unknowing to me I start tapping my feet on the floor, the thoughts that keep running in my head are...
"what if I perform bad? what if they don't select me? what questions he will ask? how would father react if I got rejected?"
With these thoughts running inside my head, unknowingly I start breaking my nails and my legs start shaking. However, soon my trance break by the voice of receptionist...
Receptionist: Ms, please follow me.
I get up, adjusted the bag on my shoulder and then I follow her steps. After a minute she stops in her track, I stop too and soon she opened a brown door on which in bold letter "HR Team" had been written, she move aside a bit so, that I could move inside the room. I walk inside the room, from the back I hear the door getting close sound. Though I was scared but my mind instantly build a wall around me and with the help of that I took a deep breath then I stand straight, walk confidently towards the person who was reading some file.
As I stand in front of him, he raise his head and with his hand, he hinted me to sit there. I follow his instruction, I sit on the chair. Once, I got settled down, I raise my head and look at him, he smiled at me lightly and later he initiated the conversation...
HR Boss: My name is Joey, I will be taking your interview.
Me: Okay
Joey: Tell me something about you.
Me: My name is Surbhi, still pursuing my graduation and psychology is my main field.
Joey: When you will graduate?
Me: I had recently given my last exam so, probably after a month or two. I will be graduated.
Joey: Okay. See let me make something clear first, this role is for someone who is graduated and person should join the job by the next week. Role will be career counsellor.
Hearing this I instantly feel sad but I can't show it right? And, with this thought in my mind I smiled a bit and then I say my next word with confidence..
Me: Ohh okay, no issue. Thank you for giving me this opportunity, to give this interview.
Hearing this he smile at me genuinely, I nod my head in appreciation and then I pick up my bag, leave the room. And this time when I am walking outside the room I am feeling as if I have just achieved some kind of trophy. Though there is this small in fear in me, thinking of how father will react after listening to this, but trying something new today brings a kind of feeling which I am not able to name. However, all I know is that it is positive.
With these thoughts in my mind I reach back home, I pay the money to the local vehicle and it goes away. I walk towards the entrance of my house and reaching there, I ring the bell and after a minute or so, Aunt open the gate. Seeing her there instantly, my mood got sore because now what will be going to start now is interrogation. To avoid getting it started at the gate, I tried to move inside the house and I do it successfully when she move a bit aside. I move inside the house, start removing my shoes and Aunt close the door behind me.
However, before I could say anything she initiated the conversation...
Aunt: (Seriously) Go and get fresh the we will have a talk in my room.
Me: Okay.
After this she leave me there alone and move inside the house probably towards her room, leaving all confused up. I shrug my shoulder, start walking inside the house with a thought in my mind...
Vihaa's one decision forced me a bit to change something, though I was scared but somehow it turn out to be a little achievement for me. It give me a light, a ray of positivity which I never expected to have it.
With these thoughts in my mind, I move inside my room and start getting fresh. It took me around twenty minutes in all to complete getting fresh, leaving the room and right now I am standing in front of Aunt room, giving myself a pep talk because I am sure whatever she will be going to say will spoil my mood.
To Be Continued....