Even though Abelia tried her best to look like she wasn't affected by the rejection, she couldn't deny that it affected her, especially when she thought about the fact that, the reason behind her mate's rejection wasn't even something she had control over
She is a blessed werewolf and even though not everyone knows it, everyone perceives it at first contact, from the rogues she has once moved with, to the ones she's currently with, everyone can sense that she is different and blessed.
Another high perk she loves about herself is that she has never been down for too long. If a difficult situation comes to her, in a short time she tackles it, which brings her mind back to the only situation she hasn't been able to tackle, the one situation that has been with her for a very long time and that she's actively finding a solution to, that she's a rogue.
That reality has always been a curse. She was never part of a pack, never knew what it is like to feel the pack's bond and she has always been on the run, moving from one place to another, searching for greener pastures and a haven because being a rogue is one of the deadly things you can be as a werewolf
Your life isn't secured. You can be killed for absolutely no reason at all, or even for the dumbest reason, as long as you come across a pack wolf, your life isn't safe. Not that it is safe even with your fellow rogues too because, just as the name precedes, they are rouges, they are that because they either committed a grave crime, they were misunderstood or born into it and the majority of the rogue population has the first reason.
She had always thought there was no way out of rouge-ship until her best friend when she was a bit younger, found her mate when they were running for their lives and till the present moment, that day has always seemed like magic to Abelia
They were running from a fellow rouge when they came across some pack warriors who were surveying their pack's out-borders. She and her friends indeed thought that was the end of it for them until a man who had a greater presence than the rest of the pack wolves came and realized her best friend was his mate.
The rest is a story from there, she was given another chance at life and told to go while her best friend had to follow the man since he was her mate. That was when she knew goodbyes hurt like hell, especially when it's the good kind.
Everyone has always said rouges can't have mates because the moment they were detached from their packs, they lost most of their value as a werewolf and the Moon Goddess then went further to deny them a holy way of replication, which is another reason why sexual abuse is one of the things that are rampant in the rouge world
So, seeing that happen right before her eyes gave her a new profound hope, just for it to be shattered merely seconds later
Her one goal in life has always been to join a pack and leave behind the dangerous and strength-zapping life of a rouge since she believes she isn't supposed to be one and now that an opportunity presented itself in the camouflage of fate, she isn't about to let it go, she'd rather die
For some minutes, she took her mind off her situation and let it wander elsewhere but as her walk home started feeling like forever, she allowed her mind to go astray again
She knows telling him he'll regret is farfetched because they both know he might not, after all, he must have thought about it well, right?
The only time he could regret his decision would be when he's on heat and he needs his mate, which is her but unfortunately, she wouldn't be available to provide the relief
But that doesn't even seem like a very big deal to her, it's just pain, at least, according to what she has heard, intense pain, which won't last forever… and if he decides to mark another lady soon enough, then it won't even matter
And that's something she wouldn't put it past an Alpha to do. And an Alpha as handsome as he is, she knows all he needs is to snap this middle finger with his thumb, and thousands of ladies would be offering themselves
She has also seen his pack lands and observed his perimeters, he is a blessed Alpha so which lady would not be willing to give herself?
And then his thin lips would merge with the woman's as they claim each other and he would move from her lips to her neck, elongate his teeth, and claim her as mate
"You bloody fool!" Maya screamed jerking Abelia out of her mind, making her realize she was a crying mess "Would you please stop breaking my fucking heart and gather up your fucking strength!" she said but Abelia couldn't reply, what's the use of a reply when her future is once again foggy?
She walked forward only to be startled by the appearance of the dorkiest male on earth
"Boom" Noah said as he jumped out of the woods and instead of beating him or shouting at him, she busted into tears
"Oh my goodness, Abby, are you okay?" he said, his face contouring into that of a sympathetic human, and that made Abelia hate herself more
"Come on lady, what's wrong," he said cooing as he brought her head to his chest, "don't cry, it's not good," he said patting her back "You wouldn't like the way you look, worse, you wouldn't even want me to see you like this," he said still cooing and Abelia fought to keep her feelings at bay but she couldn't help it
"H-he re-rejected me" she stammered while wiping her face with the back of her palm
"What? Who?" Noah said with a confused face as he couldn't comprehend what she was trying to say
"He didn't even bother to know my name," she said after taking some breaths to calm herself down "he just looked me in the eyes with a blank face and rejected me" she completed and she felt the urge to cry once again
"Oh girl, I'm so sorry," Noah said even though he didn't understand what his friend was saying after a few seconds passed, the realization hit him and he finally understood what she was trying to say, he couldn't relate but he could tell the young lady was in pain as the Abelia that he knows would rather die than cry
"I didn't accept the rejection though" Abelia continued as she wiped her face once again
"Of course, you didn't," Noah said nodding his head in understanding before stopping his motion "What?" he said after fully understanding what his friend was trying to say "Why did you not accept it?"
"Why should I?" Abelia asked raising her eyebrows in question
"Young lady, do you know what that means? Remember Cordelia?" he asked just to be sure the lady understood what she did
"What could it mean? I want him, he doesn't want me, and of course, I can't accept the rejection" she replied her pain now turned to irritation as she digested his words
So? What if Cordelia killed herself because of her mate's rejection, doesn't that mean she would? After all, she's emotionally and physically stronger than weak Cordelia
'Goddess, what were you thinking when you created this man?' Maya said to Abelia as she shook her head
'Beats me, sis, beats me' Abelia replied her wolf as she stared at Noah with a scrunched face
"You not accepting the rejection means the bond is still valid and that means in the next two weeks you're going to go through heat and without your mate around, you'll be in immense pain, and emotional weakness that could make you commit suicide," he said shaking his head and she shook her head in reply, wondering if she ever told him she wasn't aware of that little detail
"So will he," was her reply in words, after all, what use would it be to explain herself to him?
"What was I even expecting from you," Noah said as he heaved a sigh before walking forward and towards the camp with Abelia right behind him
"Please," he said as he stopped abruptly thereby making Abelia walk straight into him "Don't tell me that that is your way of making him come back to you" he continued without caring about her glare
"Firstly," she said before smacking his head and the low false menacing growl she got in response satisfied her "Secondly, that is not the plan but if it makes him come back, I won't complain," she said before walking away from him
"I would never understand the way you think woman," he said as he caught up with her
"You're not supposed to" she replied with a smile
They were friends for a reason, he was stupid and she was smart and he was also sweet and accommodating and that was the exact kind of person she needed.