I take another sip of the cocktail Cameron brought me and try not to cringe. Fucking hell. He's going to get me trashed. I hope he's prepared to take me home.
Before Cameron has the chance to say anything else, I see Everest's eyes light up.
"You're Cameron, right?" he asks.
"Uh, yeah," Cameron replies dully.
He's pretty used to this sort of thing. Cameron's popular on the internet and people recognize him everywhere we go, especially people in our age group who frequent the same parties. Word gets around.
"It's cool to meet you," Everest tilts his head to the side. "My girlfriend's been dying to talk to you. We always see pictures of your art that you post and have been trying to catch you at one of these things for a while."
Gwen looks like she's about to have a stroke. She doesn't say anything at first, but it's pretty obvious that she's embarrassed. Everest doesn't seem to realize he's done anything wrong.
Cameron doesn't say anything for a minute. He just scans the two of them before cracking a cocky smile.
"That's all right," he says to Gwen like he's trying to reassure her. "I get that a lot."
It's true. I can't even count the number of times people have come up to him going off about how they've been following his work online or whatever the hell. I know he fucking loves it, even if he pretends he doesn't.
"Oh good," Gwen lets out a sigh of relief. "Sorry, Everest doesn't know how to play it cool like, at all."
Everest makes a face, but Cameron laughs and Gwen seems encouraged.
"Anyway," she continues, "I mean, of course you get that all the time. Your stuff is just amazing."
"Thanks, thanks," he says, trying to sound humble. "You do art?"
"Not much," she admits. "Just appreciate it I guess."
"Ah," Cameron nods and then looks to Everest, "and you?"
"Um, it's more Gwen's thing," he shrugs and sticks his hands in his pockets. "I pretty much like whatever she shows me."
Cameron purses his lips at that. I wonder if it annoys him that Everest doesn't seem as interested.
Lydia scoffs loudly and rolls her eyes. "I'm leaving," she declares, walking off.
I guess she's not in the mood to watch Cameron get his dick sucked. I'm not either, but there isn't much I can do. It's not like I have other friends. I'm just gonna roll with it.
I keep gulping down the drink Cameron got me. I excuse myself to get a refill, but before I can head back inside Cameron asks me for another beer.
"All right," I agree.
I move into the kitchen and mix another drink, grabbing Cameron a beer before heading back out. Cameron and Gwen are still talking. She's nodding along to pretty much everything he's saying. He loves to hear himself speak. Everest looks bored, though. Poor guy.
I turn around and grab a second beer before making my way to the porch. I hand one to Cameron and hold the other out to Everest.
"Oh, thanks!" he brightens as he takes the bottle from me. "You didn't have to do that."
"Eh, sure I did," I smirk and tilt my head in the direction of Gwen and Cameron, who didn't even bother to acknowledge me.
Everest chuckles and gives me a knowing nod. He seems nice. Gwen seems like...she tries too hard. I take a few steps away from the banter and Everest moves with me.
"So a farm, huh?" I ask as I light what's already my fourth cigarette of the night. "With cows and shit you said?"
"Yeah, lots of cows, and a lot of shit."
"Yeah, I bet!" I cackle.
"It wasn't bad, though," he adds with a shrug. "Just a lot of early mornings."
"I would've hated that."
He smiles slightly. "Yeah, my siblings complained about it a lot."
"How many siblings do you have?"
"There's five of us total. I've got three sisters in high school and a brother who just turned four. He was… a surprise, I guess. Hah."
"Wow. I don't have any."
I never really wanted them, either. I was satisfied with it just being me and my dad.
"Yeah, I don't really know how my parents did it," he admits. "Five kids is a lot."
"It really is," I nod. "You're the oldest?"
"Mmmhmm, by five years."
"Woooow," I flip my septum ring up inside my nose. "You end up playing the man of the house a lot?"
He laughs at that. "More than you'd think."
"Well, you're a good big brother then. I feel like I would have been a crappy older sister."
"You would have been able to step up to the plate," he reassures me, which is nice considering he doesn't know me at all.
"I'm sorry," he goes on to say a second later, "I've been standing here talking to you and I actually don't think I caught your name."
"Oh, shit, sorry," I snort. "It's Avery."
"Nice to officially meet you."
"Likewise."
He seems like a genuine guy. I don't know what he's doing with a girl like Gwen. They seem like polar opposites. She's still talking with Cameron, getting all starry-eyed over him. I hate that shit. It's so uncomfortable to watch.
I wonder if it bothers Everest. He doesn't seem annoyed in the slightest. I guess at least they're not arguing anymore. That was awkward as hell to listen to, even more awkward than watching Gwen gush over Cameron. I wonder if Cameron's actually into their conversation or if he's just trying to pass the time. A moment later, I hear Cameron tell Gwen he has something he needs to talk to me about but that it was nice meeting her. This is probably his sly way of telling her to screw off. Gwen seems to take the hint because she walks over and grabs Everest's sleeve.
"Let's go get more to drink," she tells him, and he agrees without a fuss.
"Thanks for the chat," he says to me. "I'll see you around."
As they walk away and back through the front door, Cameron saunters over to me.
"Jesus Christ," he says with an eye roll.
"What?" I ask.
"Just them," he stifles a laugh. "Fucking hell."
"What?" I ask again, oblivious.
Cameron rolls his eyes again. "She was clearly a social climber... but I guess that isn't anything out of the ordinary. She was way too hot for him, though. I don't know what was up with that."
I shake my head at him. "Come on, man, that isn't cool."
"It's true, though."
"I thought he was cute," I argue.
"Well, I guess that's why you're a lesbian."
For fuck's sake.
"Well, I didn't think Gwen was all that hot," I scoff.
"Did you even look at her? Even I could see she was hot. I mean, anyone with eyes can tell when a person's good-looking."
"Whatever, man," I say, not wanting to fight about who is and isn't hot. Cameron gets so competitive with other men.
I take a sip of the drink Cameron made me and try to gauge how I'm feeling. My head's getting fuzzy and I think I should probably slow down.
"I still think you should have invited Rudolf," Cameron comments.
"Why? Because you think he's hot?"
It comes out nastier than I intend it to probably because I'm annoyed by what Cameron said about Everest, but I guess it's not a problem because Cameron just throws his head back and laughs.
"Yeah!" he exclaims. "Hot, but fucked!"
I push the post of my lip piercing out. "You keep saying that," I say, pulling the jewelry back in place with my front teeth. "What do you mean?"
"He's seriously messed up," Cameron gives me an amused look.
I can tell he wants to share all the details, he's just waiting for me to ask.
"Yeah?"
"Y'know how he slept with, like, a shit-ton of guys?"
I nod my head slowly.
"Well, apparently they were all old as fuck. I asked him where he met them all and he said some were friends with his dad or guys who would buy him liquor and shit. He'd let them all fuck him. Isn't that the most messed up shit you've ever heard?"
"Jesus Christ," I mumble, completely unsure what to do with this sort of sensitive information. "Are you sure you should be telling me this shit?"
"Well, it's not like he told me not to. He says his parents were fucked up, right? I bet his dad molested him or something."
"Fucking hell, Cameron!" I snap. "Don't say shit like that about people!"
"What?" he hisses. "Like you even care!"
"I do care!" I insist. "That's like, awful! It's not funny."
Cameron's expression changes. He stands up a little straighter and gives me a serious look.
"I didn't say it was funny. You're my best friend, aren't I supposed to be able to tell you this sort of crap?"
"I just mean like…" I pause. "This is Rudolf's personal business."
Great. Now I feel guilty.
"I'm just saying I'm worried about him," Cameron explains.
"Well," I shift awkwardly. "Okay...did you ask if he's holding up okay?"
"As if he'd tell me," his brow furrows. "I've known him like less than a month."
"I don't know. He told you that other stuff. You guys cuddled in bed or whatever."
"Pfff," Cameron leans against the railing and rolls his eyes. "We did not cuddle."
I roll my eyes back. "I'm just saying if he told you all that shit he'd probably tell you how he's coping."
"Doubt it. He isn't even willing to talk about his parents. They did a number on him."
"Well, if you're concerned you should try to talk to him about it, right?"
Cameron shrugs. "I don't fuckin' know. I don't feel like it would amount to anything apart from him getting pissy."
"You never know 'til you try," I respond simply.
None of this is overly shocking, unfortunately. Rudolf seems like the kind of guy who holds shit in. Dark shit. I don't know if Cameron's suspicions hold any truth, though, and I definitely don't want to go around assuming something that extreme.
"Whatever," Cameron scoffs.
"What?" I ask, genuinely wondering what his fucking problem is.
Instead of answering, Cameron just rolls his eyes for the millionth time. Does he ever stop with that? I get he's sassy and all but it's getting old. I probably didn't respond how he wanted and now I'm going to pay for it. I feel bad that I assumed he was making a joke out of this, but the way he brought it up really caught me off guard.
Should I apologize? I seriously don't know. That would honestly probably piss Cameron off even more. This is just what he does. He gets mad when people fuck up around him but he doesn't want them to openly acknowledge it and make things awkward, he just wants them to notice he's upset and not make that same mistake twice.
"Yeah, okay," he says, still completely ignoring my question. "Why don't you just hang out here and keep smoking that cigarette, yeah?"
I twist my mouth into a tight frown as he turns around and makes his way back inside. I watch him until he's gone, standing here and stewing in my own irritation.
Why the fuck is he like that? Did I really piss him off that much? I don't feel like I said anything too off base and certainly nothing that warrants him being an ass. Then again, I know what he's like. I should know better by now. I should know what sets him off. I need to start being more thoughtful when I talk to people, especially about sensitive shit.
What am I supposed to say, though? Maybe he just didn't like me hinting that he didn't try hard enough? Fuck, I don't know.
Just like he said, I keep standing there and smoking my cigarette. When I'm done, I toss it and light one more. When I'm done, I head back inside. I should probably try to find him. Maybe he's had enough time to cool off. Maybe I should apologize.
I wander through a couple of rooms before I finally spot him hanging out in the corner by the beer pong table. He has a whole crew of people surrounding him. Great. I start to approach him, but it's times like these where I start to feel how painfully obvious it is how quickly he could replace me. Honestly, I should be more grateful. I'm fucking lucky he considers me to his best friend. I could name half a dozen people off the top of my head who would be ready to take my place in a second. That Gwen girl, for starters…
Cameron does a lot for me, too. He tries hard to make sure I get out even though naturally I'm a major shut-in. All he's doing is trying to help me and all I do is resist. He probably feels like he's fucking pulling teeth with me because I make every little thing so miserable. I feel guilty for snapping at him after what he said about Rudolf. Obviously, he didn't mean it in a bad way. Ugh. I'm fucking stupid. I was just projecting. I always assume the worst of people. Even good people, like Cameron.
I stand there awkwardly for a few minutes, unsure how to approach him. I feel like I'm forcing myself to be a part of something I'm not a part of. Regardless, I sigh and push through.
"Hey," I greet him.
He doesn't say anything. Instead, he nods back at me. He has a fresh drink in his hand.
"Look, I'm sorry for what happened out there," I say, trying to speak quietly so everyone doesn't hear. I think that's kind of inevitable, though, since I just shoved my way through a bunch of people to reach him.
"Fuck, Avery, I don't care. It's fine, okay?" He takes a long sip of his drink. "You need to learn how to calm down."
"Okay...I'm calm."
"Cool, good job," he gives me a toothy grin but shakes his head slightly as he says it, making it well beyond clear that he's still fucking annoyed.
Awesome. Fantastic. He probably just wants me to shut the hell up and not make a scene.
So, that's what I do. I glue my mouth shut and stand next to him as he finishes his drink and chats up the group of guys congregating around us. Cameron doesn't bother introducing me, but I don't have it in me to care. It's fine. They're not here for me and I don't want to talk to any of them anyway.