After what seems like the millionth round of Cameron handing out his Instagram and telling people to follow him, my stomach starts to hurt. Ugh. It's probably that hellish drink Cameron made me.
I try to suck it up, but I can't. I nudge Cameron and ask, "Wanna leave?"
He gives me a once-over. "Did you have a little too much fun?"
"Ha… Hardly."
He snorts back a laugh and then glances at the group of people, bidding them all farewell. With that, he ditches the crowd, downing the rest of his drink before tossing it aside carelessly. I feel too woozy to say anything.
I follow him out to his car and ask, "Are you cool to drive?"
"Oh, yeah," he insists. "I'm good. You're the one who's sloshed."
"I'm not sloshed. That drink you mixed me was just foul."
"Is it my fault for trying to get you to lighten up a little bit?" he taunts. "You're always such a bummer at these things, sorry for hoping you'd actually enjoy yourself for once."
I make a face as I get in the car, but decide not to say anything. I feel like I'll just dig myself a deeper hole than I'm already in.
Cameron fiddles with his phone for a second, turning on its Bluetooth and setting up some music for the ride. He picks something chill, which I appreciate since my head's pounding.
"I'm going to Rose's tonight," I grumble. "Can you drop me off there?"
"Sure, no problem," he agrees. "She gonna take care of your drunk ass?"
"Yeah, she's a saint," I say airily.
"I'll fuckin' say."
I bring a hand up and start rubbing my forehead. I feel so uneasy. I don't know why Cameron's giving me such shit. He's been in my position twice as many times, but God forbid I fuck up every once in a while. As soon as it happens, he's gone.
"Why the fuck do you always ditch me at parties?" I ask sourly.
"Because, no offense, but you are literally incapable of being charming," he says without a hint of hesitation. "You make bad first impressions and don't care enough about how you come off."
"Then why the fuck are we even friends!" I exclaim, getting angry.
Cameron gives me an indignant look. Then he scoffs and looks out the windshield, stepping on the gas peeling away from the curb with a jolt.
"Because I like hanging out with you!?" he exclaims, sounding exasperated as hell. "When you're not busy being a fucking self-loathing stick in the mud at least!"
I sink low in the car seat. "It doesn't always feel that way."
"Avery, oh my fucking god," Cameron says, the sound of annoyance in his voice rising. "How often do I need to spell this shit out for you?"
I sink even lower. I feel fucking terrible right now and the alcohol isn't helping.
"Are you THAT insecure?" he asks.
"I'm not insecure," I bite back, but maybe I am? It's embarrassing that's what he thinks of me. I've never thought of myself as an insecure person.
"Are you sure about that?"
For fuck's sake, he's really pissing me off tonight.
"Yes, I'm fucking sure!" I snap, getting riled up.
He laughs.
"Calm down, I'm just fucking with you."
Somehow, I really doubt that.
I cross my arms, feeling sulky. I don't respond and he doesn't bother saying anything else. For a while, it's quiet.
I keep thinking about what he said. About me being insecure. Do I really come off that way? My dad would be mortified to hear that. Hell, I'm mortified to hear that. No one's ever expressed this to me before, but maybe next to Cameron I really do seem like a big fucking mess.
"Is that what people think of me?" I ask, glancing out the window.
"Avery," Cameron says my name sharply. "Shut up, I have to concentrate."
I turn to face him and let the side of my face flop against the headrest.
"On what?" I ask.
"The road, man," he chuckles. "I mean, did you fucking see how much I drank tonight?"
I force myself to sit up a little straighter.
"You said you were fine."
"I am fine. I just have to focus, so be quiet. Jesus fucking Christ."
"Oh, my God," I mutter to myself, feeling panicked.
What the hell is he thinking? He's drunk? And I'm in the car with him?
I had no idea. I should have been paying more attention, but I was totally out of it for so much of the night. I look out the window, hoping I arrive at Rose's in one piece. I'm so fucking mad at Cameron right now.
He takes a sharp turn and the car skids. He lets out a throaty laugh like it's all a big fucking joke.
"If we die, I'm going to fucking kill you," I say.
"We're not going to die, calm the fuck down."
We keep driving and I tighten my grip on the armrest of my seat. This is seriously freaking me the fuck out. I close my eyes and try to focus on anything other than the fact that I'm trashed riding in the car of someone who is probably equally fucked up. I try to think about the assignments I have due Monday. I try to think about how I'll work on them when I get home from Rose's in the morning.
Then, I feel Cameron slam on the breaks. My eyes fly open and I jerk forward against the seat belt. Some car catty-corner to us blares its horn and I think it's justified because it seems like Cameron was about to blow a stop sign. The altercation must piss him off because the second the other car has gone, Cameron decides he's going to floor it.
"Cam!" I exclaim as the tires spin out for a second and then the car bolts through the intersection.
"What?" he snaps.
"Pull over! Let's just take a fucking Uber or something!"
"No."
"YES!" I practically shriek. I don't even have it in me to be embarrassed anyway. He's the one who should be embarrassed for acting like such an idiot right now. If cops were to pull us over, we'd both be fucked.
Cameron lets out a groan and stops the car in the middle of the road.
"Happy!?"
"No!" I exclaim. "I'm not fucking HAPPY! I said pull over!"
I've never been so freaked in my entire life. My heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest. Cameron looks amused, though, like he's having such a good time riling me up.
"Jeez, Avery, this is a new side of you."
"Yeah, congratulations," I spit.
He starts driving again, which severely pisses me off.
"I said pull over!" I reiterate frantically.
Cameron gives me a dirty look. "Oh my god, what are you gonna do? Jump out of the fucking car? What the hell is up your ass tonight? Just sit still and let me deliver you to your ball and chain."
Oh my GOD. I'm going to lose my shit. Cameron should know better. This would bother me on any night. My dad would kick my ass if he ever found out. I want to kick my own ass for not paying better attention.
He keeps driving, not paying me any mind.
"You could kill someone, you know," I tell him.
"No one is on the fucking roads right now," he barks.
"Well, you could kill me! Or yourself!"
"Not gonna happen. So chill the fuck out and enjoy the damn ride."
He's so entitled. He thinks he's some sort of God. I'm so sick of his holier-than-thou attitude. He's going to hurt someone.
"You're a piece of shit," I tell him.
"Well, whatever," he says. "You're the one who keeps hanging out with me. So, what's that say about you?"
I grit my teeth, unsure how to respond. It makes me think. It makes me feel even more conflicted. It fucking kills me when Cameron gets like this. He loves pretending like everything is fine when it so clearly is not.
He's so concerned about his image and I just don't get it. Why does it matter to him? Why does he think driving me home while he's wasted makes him a more likable person? I try to stay quiet and focus on being a second pair of eyes for the road, but after what feels like forever we finally pull onto Rose's street and I can't bite my tongue anymore.
"You don't have to act like this you know," I hiss. "You don't have to try to impress me. I know you. I know what you're like."
The car screeches to yet another stop and I can tell I pissed him off again.
Cameron turns to me and says, "Get out. You can walk the rest of the way."
His tone's forceful, so I don't even try to fight.
"Fine!" I spit back, opening the door. "I hope a cop pulls you over!" I slam the door shut and stomp down the sidewalk towards Rose's house.
She's going to ask about the party. What the hell am I going to tell her? She was friends with Cameron long before we started to date. I don't want to stir shit up between them. I don't want to ruin a friendship. Rose might want to talk to Cameron about it, but I don't think I would let her.
We'll probably mull things over eventually. We just need time to cool down. It'll be fine.