I woke up the second time very confused.
What day is it? What happened? Where am I? Who am I?
I'm still groggy but I still have serious hangover vibes.
On the bedside table was a tray with a note on it. 'Just eat and rest today. I'll be downstairs if you need me. -Ash'
Seriously what happened. I didn't do anything. Right?
Wait, did we have sex. Breakfast in bed is usually something a boyfriend does after sex. Especially if the sex was good.
The better the breakfast the better the sex. The more they wanna do it again.
I pulled the lid on the tray up. Eggs Benedict, hash browns, bacon, ham, and pancakes. All the stuff I like.
So if we had sex it was mind blowing.
Though isn't it supposed to be painful for me? I don't feel pain in the areas I would expect. Or did it go the other way? All that aside, why don't I remember? Was it really that crazy level of sex?
I grabbed my phone realizing school started six hours ago. That meant I slept for seven more hours.
The other crazy thing was my phone being completely blown up with messages.
Okay so something did happen. I look through the messages. Some were the so-called friends that made a joke out of my death.
Every message was about them asking about my well being.
Though another pattern was the theater.
Deja Vu hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember now. The theater burned down. Though it only happened when I switched jobs. A week after actually.
It's way too soon.
I pulled up the news. Immediately I went pale.
This never happened before.
It was a memorial for the victims of the fire. On the list of names was ever single person working there.
As I searched further I only felt more chilled.
It burned down at around 2a.m. Accelerant was used. Not a single car was in the parking lot. All the cameras on the entire block weren't working.
None of the victims talked about any sort of event that would have them all there at that time. A couple of the bodies were retrieved intact. All wearing pajamas. None of them were wearing shoes.
This is a mass murder.
This makes no sense though. There were no really big murders in my memories. Nothing like this ever happened.
My mind raced trying to piece together what happened. I know about the butterfly effect.
I'm a whole lot bigger than a butterfly. I know that my actions will cause bigger waves than a butterfly.
Though I never expected my actions to lead to this. Is this my fault?
A crazy idea popped into my head. I feel like this. Did I blackout and do this?
I don't have any idea how any single person could accomplish this. Though I traveled back in time. I changed the timeline using my knowledge of the future.
I stuck it to that bitch. I flirted with my stalker best friend. I quit my job.
Jeez I really fucked up didn't I.
I was mad at them. I didn't like them. But I never wanted them to die.
I put down my phone. My head was swirling. Sweat was dripping down my face.
No, I can't just jump to conclusions. There is no proof it's because of me.
I have to wait and see. If I'm the cause… we'll see.
I finally calmed down. None the less sure about everything. If anything less sure about everything I should do.
If I continue on this path, will more people die? Can I be okay with that?
Though if I think about it, there is no going back.
There was never any going back from the start.
I've gone back in time. I've changed the timeline. There is no changing that.
I only have three options. Live out this life the way I've been doing. Run away. Or I end my life so no more life is taken.
I already made my choice. I have to make Ash happy this time. At this point, his life is the only one that actually matters.
I chuckled realizing how absurd my thoughts have become. I don't even know what is happened and I'm already jumping to suicide.
For all I know I'm in a completely different universe. For all I know this was supposed to happen in this universe's timeline.
Maybe when I died my soul fell through universes and assimilated to a me that had died while being beaten and choked by my father.
I can't just jump to assume everything I know is right. I also can't jump to suicide. This isn't fucking leap frog after all.
For all I know it was the fucking mob.
It could be Ash.
I finally calmed down. Feeling a bit like an idiot. Pretty standard. I've never been all that smart.
I shook of all the creepy vibes. And decided to just eat and hopefully I'll feel better.
I eat the kind of cold but still delicious food feeling a lot better.
With mind now calmed down and a lot clearer I even thought of a couple ideas of why I feel like shit.
I mean my body hasn't been a good state most of my life. Maybe it's just in shock from me eating somewhat properly. Finally getting a chance to heal.
I've also been threw a lot of shit. My mentally might of just fill on collapsed.
I was murdered after all. That's not exactly a normal state of being.
I laid in a hospital for a long time. Had to come to terms with dieing while being completely paralyzed. I forced to listen to so many terrible things.
A memory popped into my head.
Before my plug got pulled I stayed quite a bit of time in the hospital. Before I had my own room I shared a room with two others.
One was an old deaf grandma. She would cry at night cause no one ever came to visit her. The nurses and doctors also didn't take well care of her either. It was very upsetting.
The other was a thirteen year old. The doctors couldn't figure out what happened to them. The parents cried none stop.
After a couple days their heart just stopped. No warning. Just stopped.
People rushed in trying to save the kid. It didn't work. They just died. Just like that.
After everything was done Lexi leaned next to my ear and whispered,"Your next." Then laughed and talked about it all day.
As if the death of that poor child was nothing but entertainment to her.
I never wanted to cry more in my life. I was never more scared of death. That's when I had to accept my impending doom.
It's also something that I can't talk to anyone about. Cause it technically never happened.
It doesn't change the fact that it did happen to me. I remember every single detail of that horrible moment. It did happen to me.
As much as I want to move on. I can't just forget.
At that moment, halfway threw eating I stopped. Then I rushed to the bathroom. I scrambled to the toilet, and very proptly threw up. Than I just cried.
I kept retching and crying uncontrollably. Like and absolute lunatic.
A bit later Ash entered the bathroom leaned next to me rubbing my back.
He didn't say anything. I just kept crying and retching.
How ugly.