A week later.
Lina
I can't help but smile when I feel Bruno stand behind me and pull me closer to him. I'm not sure where we are but I know that I've been waiting for a long time. Right here, in his arms, I feel warm and safe in a way I haven't felt in ages. I almost want to cry from the way I'm feeling right now.
He dips his head into my neck, his hot breath traveling along the length of it. I feel his erection bumping against my ass as his hot lips press on the nape of my neck. Grinding myself against his cock, I let out a whimper of pure animal need. Clearly impatient he whirls me until we're facing each other before attacking me with his mouth. His tongue plunges into my mouth before his lips swallow me whole. As they have a mind of their own, my arms wrap around his neck and I kiss him twice as hard. His big rough hands roam all over my body and I start to moan into his mouth.
I'm still moaning when I wake up. My body stills on the bed and I open my eyes at once. Before my eyes to the darkness of the room, I realize what's been going on. Another wet dream. Tears spring to my eyes. I don't even need to touch my panties to know that they're soaking wet. I close my eyes prompting twin tears to roll down onto my pillow. Blindly, I reach for my phone and switch it on. I open my eyes and groan when I notice that it's 03.00A.M in the morning.
Fuck, it's still dark.
Did I have to wake up fucking now? I just hate this period. It's the only time that memories of the past sneak in and haunt me while I'm conscious. Then there are the dreams. These are the worst part. They can be sweet and erotic but they can also be twisted and scary. All of them torment and tease me with his presence. And I have to wake up to a harsh reality where he's not there as icing on the cake. It's agonizing.
I stare at the ceiling and try with all my might to keep my mind blank. I'm failing miserably-his face keeps popping in my head. Feeling like I don't have a choice, I throw away the covers, get up and put on my slippers. After that, I remove my laptop from its charger and make my way to the kitchen. I make myself a quick cup of coffee and seat on the cool. I sip the coffee while my laptop turns on. As soon as the laptop finally accepts my password, the wallpaper of my fiancé Miles beams at me. I quickly access the book I'm writing so his adoring smile is covered. I certainly don't want to think about Miles when I've just finished having an erotic dream about another man.
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I'm startled awake by the sound of my phone ringing. I raise my head from the armrest of the couch and look around me. I realize that I must've tired myself out and fallen asleep on the couch. I look at the windows to find it light out this time, thank God. Stretching my arms I yawn helplessly. I then quickly grab the phone, glance at the caller and answer.
"Morning Papa,'' I say stifling another yawn.
" Good Morning, my precious. Did I wake you up? You sound like you've just woken up''
"Yeah. I was up late working on the new book."
"Lina, you can't keep doing that. It's so unhealthy to get so little sleep and wake up this late.''
''This late?" I say with mild surprise. "Papa, what's the time right now?'' I ask panicking.
'Uhmm...almost eleven''
''Oh, shit. I'm supposed to meet Miles in half an hour. He wants to discuss something important with me," I say scratching behind my ear, "It's probably about our marriage."
Shit that last part wasn't supposed to come out of my mouth-it just slipped out. I'm trying to keep people from discussing my wedding with Miles, including Miles himself. Mentioning it is a huge no-no. If he brought it up again today he's going to hear that I'm still not ready.
To be honest, when Miles proposed to me the first thing that popped into my head was to say no. That's what I did when Pablo and Matteo proposed(Yeah, men fall for me pretty quickly]. Anyway, I was about to do that when it really hit me how stupid and silly I was being. Am i, the practical Adelina Rivera, really going to let another perfectly good man slip through my fingers again? I asked myself. I mean Miles Moretti Is handsome, funny, smart, and kind. He is also an uncomplicated person with a great job. He loves me deeply and I care about him. It's crazy to say no and over what? A crazy relationship that ended years ago, with a man that literally forgot my name.
I accepted Miles's offer that day. But I started getting second thoughts.
I thought I could go through with it but the idea filled me with dread. I even told Miles the same thing, hoping that the conversation would end things between us. He didn't get it and said that all I needed is more time. That wasn't the case. I went along with what he was saying anyway. The wedding was postponed.
Nothing has changed though. With every passing day, I feel like I've made a huge mistake. I haven't been successful in making myself feel excited. Not once. I hate myself for it. Miles deserves better than this stupid girl whose heart is still stupidly with someone else.
Usually, this is the part where I break up with him, mercifully breaking his heart before I'm in too deep. I haven't done that yet; I've never liked anyone as much as I like Miles so I'm hoping that maybe I'll recognize what a gem he is and marry him. I know I'm being selfish but I learned to live with it. It happens when you start dating men you know you don't really want.
'Uhmm...What did you say again, Dad?"
Shit, my dad's been talking this whole time and I didn't catch a single thing.
'I asked if guys have finally set a date,?' he says, clearly annoyed.
"Not yet Papa,'' I say. 'Not ever' I think.
'What's the delay, honey'
"It's a big decision, Papa and we both want to be ready for this.'
He chuckles. "Oh, I'm sure Miles has been ready for a while now. That's why he proposed. I think that it's you who hasn't been ready isn't it?''
I shut my mouth. I can't find the words to tell him that he's wrong.
"Oh precious, I thought agreeing to this meant you were over Bruno."
At the sound of his name, the grip on my phone tightens and tears spring to my eyes. I bite my lips.
There is a long silence before I finally find my voice. "Papa," I say, my voice thick with tears,'' I have to go. I'll be late for my meeting with Miles if I don't hang up now."
"Lina,'' he starts with a stern voice, ''You have got to get over that man and move on with your life.
I open my mouth to reassure him that I really have moved on but I don't waste my breath-my dad knows me too well to believe me.
''Bye Papa,'' I tell him, completely out of words.
"Wait, Lina. Your mother wants to t...''
His voice is cut off as I abruptly hang up the call. Now I regret it-I would've liked to talk to my mother.