LINA
It's only after hours have passed that I gather the courage to abandon the wall that's been acting as my safe place during that time. I inhale sharply and start walking, ignoring my trembling legs. The doors have to be locked, immediately. After I turn the key, I step back and survey the effect.
'There,' I think,' no one will hurt me now.'
Part of me knows that's not true-he can pick locks - but I don't care. Right now, it makes me feel very safe. Turning away from the door, I make a beeline for my bedroom.
I think I'm in a state of shock.
As soon as I'm inside my room I start taking off all of my clothes and let them drop on the floor. I'm about to climb onto the bed when I catch my reflection on the vanity.
Oh no! I exclaim, moving towards it.
I'm a mess, I think, taking in the pale face, smeared makeup, bloodshot eyes, and messy hair.
What must've Bruno thought? I ask myself in despair.
As soon as I've registered the question in my mind, I see myself freeze in the mirror like a deer in headlights. And then I laugh, loudly, eerily, and maniacal. The image I see in the mirror is bizarre and terrifying. I'm even scaring myself. That doesn't stop me, I just keep on laughing like a crazed person.
Tears fill my eyes long before I manage to stop. I turn away from the vanity as tears start to flow like a river. I can't look at myself right now.
What's wrong with me? I thought I decided I didn't want him.
Sobbing softly now, I climb on the bed, overcome by a deep lassitude. I hear my phone ring but I don't even consider going to answer it. Hopefully, whoever it is will take the hint. Laying my head on the pillow, I feel my eyelids get heavy and close my eyes.
It's going to get better tomorrow, I tell myself.
Now, I don't know about better but I can tell you that the situation the next day gets...tricky.
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I wake up to the sound of birds chipping outside my window. I open my eyes and let out a sleepy yawn.
'That was the best slumber of my life', I conclude. I'm even experiencing a strange lightness of spirit, which is weird considering the events of the previous day
Memories quickly flood my brain, making my heart beat faster. I quickly sit up from my bed and the sheet slides down from my body.
I'm in trouble.
What can I do? I ask myself. I'm unable to think of a single answer. Instead, I experience a feeling of helplessness when I think about opposing Bruno. It's like he's God, wielding all the power and I'm just a mere weak and powerless mortal.
My thoughts are cut off when I start to feel chilly. I look down and see that I'm naked. I swallow as I remember what happened after a certain someone left. God, I was in a state. Last night seriously messed me up, I think.
'I need to clear my head', I tell myself impulsively. And I know just the way to do that. On autopilot, I get up from my bed, ignoring the breeze the chill that immediately hits me, and quickly don my running gear. I then throw my hair into a pony and make my out of my house and into the dark morning.
I jog into my regular route, pushing myself faster than my regular speed. My lungs heave but I don't stop. I'm starting to have that worn-out feeling that comes with a hard workout. My mind blanks, feeling nothing but the ache in my feet. I can't get enough of that, it's fucking fantastic. 'Just a bit farther,' I keep telling myself, knowing that I have no intention or desire of stopping. Ever.
Why in the world did I kiss him back?
I stumble out of the blue but somehow manage to stop myself from falling. Cursing myself viciously, I place my hands on my hips. Not even running will keep him out. Catching my breath, I think,' Who am I kidding? He's been in my thoughts for over five years. That won't suddenly go away because I, all of a sudden, want him to. It doesn't work that way. Addictions don't work that way, they're stubborn as hell, very much like the man himself.
I don't stand a chance against Bruno, I think, breathing deeply. Turning around, I start to walk home. I'm suddenly not in the mood to run anymore. However, I feel myself starting to come to terms with the situation; Bruno is back and wants to get back together.
My breath quickens even though I'm going as slow as a turtle. In the last five years that has been all I ever dreamed of but now I'm not sure. The man I saw yesterday was not the man I wanted to be with who while a little dark had been loving, gentle, and passionate. The guy in my house yesterday was the opposite; emotionless, calculating, cold, and cruel. Okay maybe not that cold. His touch had my skin burning in all the right ways and that kiss...
Just the memory of it makes me feel feverish.
It was as I remembered his kisses: hot, all-consuming, and erotically passionate. My whole body was on fire. I swear that my heart stopped beating. I've lacked that in my life during the last five years. I don't mean to compare but it had NEVER been that way with anybody or Miles for that matter. It had just been part of a process. But with Bruno, kisses...
Urghh, I'm back to the kiss again.
How did I end up kissing him? I ask myself, nearing my house. I never wanted to, right then he was the enemy. But then he put his mouth on mine and everything changed. He'd been a little rough at first but then he'd softened, kissing me with the utmost gentleness and calming me down for the first time because right then he was my Bruno. I knew him. So in the heat of the moment, I'd kissed him back, wanting more and more of him. But then he'd pulled away and I was with this murderous stranger again. Shock and confusion sank in, I'd kissed a monster. They were quickly replaced by terror as the door slammed shut, communicating the magnitude of his strength. He was gone but that didn't make me feel relief in the slightest bit. I still felt his presence in the room because I knew I wasn't rid of him. His words even managed to somehow penetrate my fear to echo clearly in my brain.
"...come back for you in a week...," he'd said, his voice terrifyingly gentle. A chill ran down my whole body at that memory.
This can't happen, I think, entering the gate of my property. I can't get into a relationship with that man, I just can't. Yes, getting back together with Bruno had been my deepest desire for all these years but he's no longer the Bruno I want to get back together with.
The reality is that he's just not relationship material.
I'm thinking about that when an unknown voice speaks in front of me," Miss Rivera?"
I look up to see a thin guy with glasses, wearing an uncertain expression, and standing on my porch. Even though he looks harmless, I'm immediately wary and take a step back. Call me paranoid but after last night I'm suddenly very aware of the dangerous world that I'm living in. "Yes," I say in answer to my name.
"I'm the delivery man," he explains, probably sensing my unease. " I've got a package for you," he informs me, lifting a parcel I truly didn't see before. It's a vase full of flowers, purple lilacs to be specific. My favorites.
Nodding my understanding, I reach forward to take them from the delivery man. "Just sign here," he tells me handing me a board. All thoughts fly from my brain when I do this, I even bite my tongue distractedly. After I sign, I tell him thanks and he leaves. Then I look for and spot the card in between the flowers. Who sent them? I wonder as I open the door of the house. Whoever it is, they're the best because these just made my morning. They smell amazing, I think taking a whiff of them.
Walking to the kitchen, I place the flowers on the counter before taking out the card. It read;
Dear Lina,
I just wanted to apologize for scaring you yesterday, my bad.
I hope this makes up for that.
Love
BRUNO
I froze immediately after I read it. It's from him. I'm a little more than surprised- I didn't expect to hear from him so soon and definitely not through flowers. I purse my lips.
' Seriously, It's been less than twenty-four hours. Am I allowed a little breathing space? I think and for the first time since last night, feeling an emotion for him other than fear. Angrily I crumble up the card and throw it in the bin. Without emotion, I then move on to the fridge to get ice-cold water. My hands trembling, I take a sip all while my gaze is irresistibly drawn to that damn bin. Closing the cap of the bottle, I rush to that bin and shamelessly rummage through the trash until I've found the card. I open it and am relieved when it's still in good shape. After this, I read the card over and over again, feeling a squeeze in my chest every time I did. I'm particularly touched when I get to the end:
Love
BRUNO
My heart starts to beat loudly.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
This card is so sweet and sincere. So unlike the man I met yesterday. Very much like the person I used to know. This means...
Thump. Thump. Thump
It means my Bruno still lives!
Gasp.
I'm so confused right now. On one hand, there's the evil monster I met yesterday and then there's the guy who sent this card. I don't want it to be the case but they are the same person. The question now is, do I still want nothing to do with him?
The memory of Bruno's hurt expression when I recoiled from him comes rushing back. I may have been allowing my fear to prevent me from seeing everything.
Ugh, I'm so confused.
Wait, I know who to call to help me figure this out. She always gives great advice. Going to the living room, I look for my phone and find it near the wall I'd plastered myself against yesterday. Switching it on, I look for Sophie's contact number, ignoring the many missed calls I'd got, most of them from Miles-they are the least of my concerns right now. Triumphantly finding her number, I eagerly call it and it rings for what seems like forever before she finally answers.
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Since my and Bruno's relationship ended I've been sort of a recluse. It's so easily done when you're a writer since I can stay holed up in my house all week. My social life is virtually non-existent so Sophie is one of my few friends. However, none of them are as tightly bonded to me as my darling Soph because we go way back. We'd do anything for each other. To prove it as soon as she got my distress call, she'd dropped whatever important thing she was doing and came here in the early hours of the morning. Now, forty minutes later she's sitting on a stool on my kitchen counter with a steaming mug of coffee between her fingers.
"Lina, I've been here for three whole minutes and you haven't said a word. It's making me nervous."
I sip my cup of piping hot coffee. It warms my whole body and gives me the strength to have this conversation. The things I'm dealing with are weighing on me heavily so I barely have any energy left anymore. This conversation isn't going to be easy. "Sorry, I'm just finding the courage to tell you this."
Sophie impatiently drops her mug to the counter with a thud and regards me sternly." Adelina, I get that you're a writer but enough with the suspense. You know how much I hate that. Just tell me what's the emergency you were talking about. Whatever is bothering you, Lina, I can and will punch it in the face. Just tell Momma Soph what's going on."
I can almost laugh at her use of that hated nickname. She's trying to make me laugh and I would but Bruno's reappearance is no laughing matter. Putting my cup down, I figure out a way to break this to her.
"Something happened yesterday," I tell her slowly.
"Yeah, I got that part. What is it? Is it about your breakup with Miles? Did it end badly? What happened? she asks, her curiosity clearly getting the better of her.
I sigh. If she only knew, that Miles is the last person on mind right now. "No it's not about about an of that," I tell her.
"Then what, woman?" Sophie says switching to Italian, like she always does when she's frustrated.
" I met Bruno yesterday!" I blurt out while she's sipping coffee. She responds by spluttering coffee and spitting all over my counter, like a true lady.
After freezing like a statue for about half a minute, she wipes off her mouth with her hand and regards me with shock, eyes wide and mouth agape.
" I'm sorry, Lina, but I think I didn't hear you correctly. Cauze it sounded like you said that you saw B-Bruno. Like the B-Bruno. Bruno Rossini?''
I nod and, in a rush say, "He broke into my house and said that he wants to get back together. He also threatened to kill Miles. Then he kissed me and...and..."
Sophie stands up from her stool and raises her hands in a stop gesture. "Whoa, Lina, slow down," she advises, getting up from her stool." I didn't catch a lot of the things you said. Broke into your house! Are you serious!" she exclaims," I thought he had amnesia and didn't even remember you."
I start to walk around the kitchen frantically. "He didn't but now he's regained his memory, Sophie. I have a week before he comes for me..."
Sophie blocks my path and puts her hand up in a stop sign." I'm not getting this at all, Lina. You're going to have to sit down and explain this to me."
I nod wordlessly and let her drag me to a stool. "Now, tell me everything, from the beginning."
Before taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to tell her about it all, from the ride with Miles to the party to the flowers and card from Bruno. When I'm done I let out a sigh of relief. It's like a weight has been lifted, sharing this with someone else makes me feel so better. Sophie on the other hand looks like she feels the exact opposite, her face is a mask of shock. She looks a little sick.
Sophie licks her dry lips before saying, "So let me get this straight, you're telling me that the guy has regained he's memory and demands that you get into a relationship with him. He's also coming to take you with him in a week?'
I nod vigorously, tears in my eyes.
"Uhmm, and how do you feel about this babe? Is this what you want?"
"I don't know, I really don't. I've barely processed this myself. I was hoping that you'd help me. I shouldn't just do what he wants right? He makes me feel so scared. Do you think I should go to the police?"
"Honey, that would be pointless. You know what goes on in this city, don't you? The Rossini family practically owns it and everyone in it. They can get away with any crime, including this one, they have cops in their pockets."
"So what are you saying then, Soph? That I should just blindly do as he says?"
"No Lina, that's not what I said. I'm just pointing out that going to the cops would be a waste of time."
I bite my lips, knowing she's right," What should I do then?" I cry despairingly.
Tears well up in her eyes as she says," I don't have the slightest idea."
At that, I burst into tears. It's clear to me that I'm powerless against this man and it terrifies me. I mean what if he's as soulless and evil as I initially thought him to be? Then I'll be at the mercy of a monster for the rest of my life.
Sophie throws her arms around me as I cry. She tries to comfort me. 'Hush, love. We'll figure out a way through this. Don't give up because I sure as hell haven't. It'll be okay, you'll see."
I don't say anything but just continue to sob against her shoulder. We cry together in silence before Sophie suddenly lets go of me.
"Oh my God! Miles," she says. "He could be in real danger, Lina. We can't let anything happen to him."
I sniff and then remove the fluids from my face with the back of my hand. Because I was a lady like that. "You're right," I say hoarsely." I need to protect Miles in any way that I can."
"Are you gonna..."
Her voice trails off, leaving her sentence hanging.
"Yes, I'm finally going to break up with Miles. There'll be no postponements this time, I can promise you that. I'm getting him out of this picture, ASAP."
To prove my point, I reach for my phone in my pocket and switch it on. Tears misting my eyes, I start the difficult process of dialing Miles's number...