Lina
"So which dress do you like?" I ask Sophie, my best friend and neighbor while we inspect the two dresses laid on my bed.
"That one," she says, pointing to the gray one-shoulder gown.
"Really?" I ask, doubting her choice of clothes for the first time. "I thought this other one looked better."
"Oh it does but do you really wanna wear a bold, red dress with a sexy slit when you break up with Miles? That's a little cruel, don't you think?" she says, crossing her legs on the edge of my bed.
She has a point there.
Nodding my head in understanding, I move to put the dress away.
"Seriously," she says in outrage," Are you going to break poor Mile's heart tomorrow, at his cousin's wedding?"
I look at my friend with a stoic expression." I'm not planning to do that but I might. You know how impulsive I can get. Plus, the longer I wait, the harder it's going to be. I have to tell him soon. I'd already have done that if he hasn't been too busy to meet up lately."
My friend sighs and shakes her head, her blonde ponytail swaying with the motion." This is a confusing situation, Lina. Are you sure that you're not making a mistake? I mean you guys are so great together."
She still thinks I'm making the wrong choice.
"I'm positive Soph, this relationship won't work out because I can't give him what he needs and It just isn't...enough," I say in despair.
Sophie gets up and hugs me. "If that's how you feel then I support you all the way, okay?"
I press my head into her shoulders and nod. Her hug makes me feel better. Sophie always does. She just radiates warmth and loveliness. What would I do without her? I ask myself. We've met in college and she's been like a sister to me since. She's been with me through every single failed relationship, always comforting me. I'm so lucky to have her and I need to tell her more often.
"You're a great friend," I tell her.
"I know," she says and we laugh. We both know that arrogance doesn't suit her.
Just then we hear the sound of a phone vibrating and we let go of each other. Sophie reaches for her phone and says, "It's a message from Carlos," she says. "I have to go."
''Okay," I say, hands in the pockets of my jeans. "Thanks for coming to help me figure all of this out."
"Anytime, babe."
She walks over to me and lays a hand on my shoulder. " If you need to talk then you can call me, alright?''
"Of course, I will. Now go, I know how much you want to be with your hubby."
She smiles and hugs me again. Then she walks past me to the bedroom door. I hear her open the door and then call out my name. "Lina,'' she calls, making me turn her way," You're not planning on pining for Bruno for the rest of your life, right?''
"Of course, I don't," I answer quickly with a frown. I don't like people mentioning him. "I don't see myself being alone for the rest of my life. I plan on falling in love again ."She nods, satisfied, and then walks through the door, not knowing I lied.
The truth is that when I think about my future I don't see myself with anyone. It's only when I think about Bruno that I see a happy ending.
We all know how impossible that is.
Will I die alone then?
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The next day...
"You look beautiful today," Miles tells me for the second time as he drives us to the wedding. Smiling in gratitude, I say," Thanks," and then throw in the classic," You don't look so bad yourself," and sigh.
I hate clichés.
The only reason I'm using one now is because I'm too miserable and restless to think of something original. I just want to get this wedding over with so I can finally find an appropriate time to talk to Miles.
"Are you okay?," he asks," You're looking a little pale."
"There's something I have to tell you, Miles. It's important." I blurt out.
"Okay," he says momentarily sliding his gaze from the road toward me.
"What is it?"
My brain immediately tells me that the timing isn't right.
"Now is not the time," I tell him. "Let's get through your cousin's wedding first."
"Okay," he says even though he looks curious.
There is silence in the car until something weird catches my eye in the side view mirror.
"Miles, is it me, or is that black car following us?"'
"Babe, it's in your head. There's no way anyone is following us," he says without checking. I immediately glare at him.
One of the few things I don't like about Miles is that he doesn't take me seriously. It's like he thinks he's the only one with a brain.
"Miles! That car has been with us for a while and It's worrying me," I say. Miles continues looking ahead, looking irritated and annoyed. "I'm being serious here Miles. I think it's possible because I've been feeling like I'm being watched lately. I didn't want to worry you so I didn't say anything,". Miles's response surprises me.
He barks out a laugh.
I look at him angry. He then says, 'Lina that's crazy. No one is following you"
"Just-Just check if the car is still behind us would ya? Maybe it's an obsessed fan."
"Okay, calm down."
"Look," he says, "the Lexus just turned. I told you, it's all in your head."
I have no choice but to shut up and conclude he's right. And it's probably wise to drop the subject even though my instincts tell me otherwise- I am breaking up with the guy, so I shouldn't get him involved in my shit anymore. However, it would be nice if he gave my thoughts a little importance.
The silence in the car persists until we reach the wedding venue, a church. Miles opens the car for me and takes my hand. "Ready?"
"Yeah," I tell him.
And with that, we make our way to the entrance.
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Weddings are a joyous occasion that always makes me a little emotional. When a couple decides to spend the rest of their lives together in a gorgeous setting, It's almost like magic to me. The moment is so beautiful to me that I can't help but cry. Plus, I can't help but remember that a few years ago, at eighteen, I almost walked down the aisle.
A few tears roll down my cheeks when the couple say their vows. Miles notices this and hands me a hanky. Smiling he says, "That will be us soon." I start to feel uncomfortable as he entwines our hands and squeezes. It becomes even worse when his parents, who are standing close to us, see this and give us sweet smiles.
Oh shit.
This was becoming too much. I excuse myself to go to the ladies' room.
Before I know it we are at the wedding reception hall. During this, the feeling that I'm being stalked crawls on me again but I stubbornly ignore it. It's like Miles said, It's all in my head.
With that done, I dance with Miles over and over again until his father, Luca Moretti tells him to stop monopolizing me. The sixty-year-old man asks me to dance with him.
"I can't wait to have you as my daughter-in-law, Lina, "he says, whirling me around. "Then you'll finally come and live with Miles and us at our mansion."
I swallow hard and keep mum since I don't really know what to say. Instead, I continue letting him twirl me around. It's during one of these twirls that I notice a tall and well-built man wearing a dark suit in the corner of the room. His arms are crossed and he's just looking in our direction, openly staring. My heart stops beating.
Is that...
It couldn't be.
My breath catches. Still in Luca's arms, I strain my eyes to see the man's face. I fail miserably because I'm being whirled around by Luca and thus am unable to form a clear image. When the song ends, Mile's father escorts me off the dance floor where yet another man asks me to dance with him. I turn him down quickly with an excuse and look to the spot where I last saw the tall figure. He's not there.
My heart sinks.
Bruno is gone.
I shake my head. 'It wasn't him,' I think. 'What would he be doing here? It was definitely someone else,' I decide firmly. However, I find myself looking around the room for one glimpse of the man. He looked so much like Bruno.
Where did he go and how did I not see him until now? He was such a huge man. Unless he was deliberately trying to stay out of sight, It seems impossible that I haven't noticed him.
When a waiter comes to me with a drink, I don't refuse. I need to calm my nerves down. There's clearly something wrong with me tonight
Miles comes over and is about to say something when the bride's father decides to make a speech. He proposes a toast and everyone dutifully raises their glasses. After it's done, I raise the glass to my lips to take a sip until I feel someone's eyes on me on the other side of the room. When I take a look, I freeze at what I see and the glass slips from my hands.
It lands right next to my shoes and shatters into a thousand tiny fragments. I have no choice but to look down.
Miles grabs my shoulders and asks if I'm okay. I look at him and murmur my reassurances. Everybody is looking but I don't pay attention to them. My eyes slide over to the crowd at the other side of the room, looking for Bruno's face. It's not there. It's just not.
Disappointment and frustration build inside me. Tears spring to my eyes.
What's happening? Why do I keep seeing Bruno's face? Am I losing it?
I have to go home. Now! I'm not well today.
Miles and I step away from the mess as someone comes to clean it up. When the chatter starts again, I take a deep breath and tug on Miles's suit.
"Miles, I am not feeling well. I'm gonna head home, okay?"
"What! What's wrong?"
"I have a bad headache," I tell him, that being the first thing that popped into my head.
'Lina, why the hell didn't you tell me? You shouldn't have come if you were feeling sick," he admonishes. "Let's get you home."
He makes to take my hand in his when I pull it away. "No," I say firmly." You have to stay. It's your cousin's wedding. I'll find a taxi."
"You sure?''
"Yes."
He looks at me for a few seconds and says, "Alright, just be safe."
"I will," I tell him and kiss him on the cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow morning to talk about what we discussed,' I say and leave.
Within thirty minutes I'm on a taxi back home. I lean against the seat and close my eyes. I kept wondering what happened tonight. Why did I keep imagining that I saw Bruno? At this point, I start to think I might be going crazy, maybe it was time I saw a shrink or something. This situation may be getting a little much for me.
A second later, I get a call from Miles. I don't have the strength to talk right now so I don't answer it. I just wanted to get home and sleep.
I don't know when I dozed off but I wake up to the driver's, "We're here."
A little disoriented but mostly conscious, I reach into my purse, take out some money and pay the man. I thank him and leave his vehicle.
I hear him drive away as I walk towards the house, a little unsteady in my heels. Yawning, I reach for my keys and open the door. As soon as I'm inside, I lean against the door and yawn again.
'What an awful and bizarre day', I think. I'm glad it's over.
Still leaning against the door, I remove my heels and hold them in my fingers.
I think I'll undress and go straight to bed.
As I'm about to take a step forward, I hear a voice I thought I'd never hear again.
"Evenin', precious."
The lights turn on, enabling me to see the owner of this deep voice.
And then I scream.