I went deeper into a slumber, leading into a limbo. Then, I began to wonder whether I am alive or dead.
Is this a nightmare? "no it's a memory, a long forgotten memory in the past where you had an empty mind.".
"Look around you Kuga, what do you see?" a familiar voice asked compassionately, but I was frighten.
'I see nothing,' I said with quivering lips although I was not feeling cold. I manage to ask, 'who are you?'
"are you sure you want to go down that road Kuga?". "where am I? I feel naked' I said fearfully, and dread barb and twist its ghastly tentacles around me, and the feeling?
Something I can't put in words, but I knew I was shackled and gagging in my sleep.
The voice laughed and said "off course you are naked. Is good you took notice, for every living being is naked no matter whatever shroud they have covering them, Kuga."
The alien suspicious smell in my room before I went to sleep now felt so strong in this specious world I found my self-locked in.
'who are you?' I asked again my whole body freezing now. "oh you are suffering from the human disease".
'and what is that?' I asked…
"humans asked the wrong questions, and they get answers for their wrong questions, and is okay with them, so instead of the whole pie, the end up with a slice, and they are happy. And they proclaimed, "we have found knowledge."
"you still have not answer my question". "oh, not until you asked it well, take a look around you again. where are you?"
"I don't know; I can't see nothing". I said. "exactly, yet it is staring at you"
"what is staring at me?" I asked fearfully. "please get me out of here…"
"I can't do that, for I don't have that power. Look, we standing in your head". "my head? but my head is not an empty space."
"it actually is, till you pile it up with all sort of things you call thoughts and emotions. Now listen carefully what do you hear?"
"I can't hear anything, its silent".
"yes, its silent, your head is empty and silent, but now you have made it too noisy even in your sleep and look where it brought you".
"what are you?" I asked. "good question, now I think we getting somewhere".
"when you go back, which I doubt, because it's like you are having a hemorrhage in your sleep, and you may never go back, but if you do go back, know this; your ear is constantly listening to only silence and nothing but silence, all other sounds play its way out of this.
the buzzing insect, the whistling bird, voices, cars honking but I ask you now, have you ever heard the sound of the butterfly when it flap its wings? For, in that too a sound is produce, a much subtler sound. what happens when the ear is allowed to do it work?"
" I don't know". "oh you do know, pay attention".
And I did pay attention, but I heard nothing except silence, raw dark silence. For the first time I saw my own sleep. It is dark, and beautifully placid.
The five senses have no role to play. An endless dimension lay before my eyes. I can explore it forever, and come out still empty.
The voice giggled precociously, and said; "so you see it now." "I saw nothing, what do you mean 'so, you see it now'".
" Get me out of here!" I screamed but my own voice echo back at me… the stench of blood hit me, more blood, surrounding me, now I found myself drowning in what seems like an ocean of blood. I shiver in the cold blood as I went under choking.
I am dying. It all went dark and I was certain I died but soon, found myself in a dark chamber.
"hey spooky, come let's go" Ziggy called out to me from the window, tossing a catapult to me.
my heart burst into youthful bliss. We were children again playing in the dark muddy alleys in the ghetto.
I run out to meet with him, but slipped in the door way. I was very certain the moist ground will receive me very soon, except it never did as I bounce back on granny's long staff, wedged between I and the ground.
I tilted my head up to see granny standing at the door way smiling at me.
"thanks grandma". "you be careful now spooky mouth" she giggled and the giggle followed me into the long alley like a siren.
I run after Ziggy, bare footed, my cold hands steady on the catapult ready to shoot.
We could run forever. we had the energy, and the zeal to keep going.
"hey spooky, be ready now, when I throw catch, okay". "okay Ziggy".
And when Ziggy throw and I did catch the roasted peanuts tired in small plastic bags, the size of a toddler's fist, joining together in a long chain.
Here comes the fun part. I braced myself for the wild chase that will follow… "hey catch those two boys, they are running away with my peanuts". the woman cried for her third loss in a week.
here comes the second fun part; I turn around and poke my tongue out to mock the tottering woman behind us with heavy buttocks.
"Hey Ziggy! Spooky! stop right there!" she palpates far behind us, as we enter the clustered market area, where the fat granny's sat on their stoles and watch us with consternation.
One granny smacked Ziggy on the back as he passes by, and some of them try to grab us, extending their hands, but we elude every single one of them.
Then, we Climb atop the dilapidated sagging clustered roofs and started to walk, laughing and breathing heavily.
Last time they got hold of me, they smacked me black and blue. And my body aches for weeks.
We share the peanuts, and started to crunch and grind, languishing in the taste.
Umcalibrated in my walk, I stepped on a rotten zinc and it gave way.
gravity took charge of my destiny as I went under. But Ziggy was there; ferit on his feet, agile in reflex.
Miraculously, he was lying flat on his stomach on the strong part of the roof holding my hand firmly as I dangled in the open dark space below my feet, surprise and terror written over my toothless face.
Any slight movement from me and we will both go under.
"listen now spooky, I got you, hold on to me strong, I will pull you out…"
Ziggy did pull me out, and we became brothers to the bone. And more adventures followed till higher education took me out of the slum, but we always kept in touch.
"what happen to us bro… what happen, how did we ever get here" I murmured perhaps in my sleep or dream or in the next life.
I heard someone crying, but who, a woman, a voice, a sinful voice, voice of my high school teacher, my enemy, my tormentor, but why is she crying, wait is that Ruby? why is she crying, what is she doing in my house…
"Kuga, where are you?"
Wait, is that a siren blurring? spooky what is happening, are we dead?" No kuga we are dying; we are freezing out cold.
You have to wake up, you didn't turn of the AC before we go to bed last night."
"and why is my head feeling like a pancake?" stop asking questions and wake up kuga, last chance or we are dead."
My eyes flipped opened, but I couldn't make out any image yet, my body felt cold and heavy, and plastered to the bed.
I tried lifting up my head from the pillows. Pain, excruciatingly drilling an invisible screw into the juice beneath my skull…
then, I saw the blood on the pillows, when I finally managed to lift head from the pillows.
I drag myself to the edge of the bed, and limbly fall to the floor, dragging my way to the desk just to get hold of my phone.
if I don't make it on time, well, the maggots will surely have a party six feet in the soil. life, sweet muddling life.
Is a miracle I am still alive, I know. I could hear the voices outside, in my room, perhaps in the compound and garden.
But only her voice granted me solace in this akward moment. 'Ruby!' I heard my mind scream but no sound came out.
she is here, how did she get here spooky?" get to the demm phone kuga, or we will die!…. "stop yelling spooky, I am tired, I don't think I can cover the three yards to the desk…"
Good Lord, only three yards, but it feels like a thousand miles. I try shouting but I could barely make out any sound, it comes as a faint howl deep down my throat…
"Kuga, where are you? oh lord, is he dead? what happen to him?" Ruby said. She cries…
And with every ounce of strength I drag myself, one elbow in front, then I pull, then the next and the next.
Ruby's voice, a voice I used to despise for its sweetness, now became my compass to freedom. Ruby here I come, here I come baby….
When I finally reach the chair I grabbed on it till my fingers hurt. then I drag myself to my knees then stretch out one hand to grab the phone on the desk…
Ruby's call was coming when I tried to type, for I didn't think I could speak, but I picked up any way, as I went down sprawling on the cold floor again, for I had no strength left in my cold weary bones.
"hello kuga where are you?" Ruby's voice came through tearfully desperate. Then I gathered momentum and yelled as loud as I could into the phone. "bathroom! Upstairs! turn the shower regulator beyond the locking point!"
I head feet running upstairs, soon the secret door opens and Ruby run inside with paramedics, rivers of tears flowing down her face….
I looked up at her trying to smile. I don't know whether I did succeed before the darkness took me once again.