"All praises be to Lord of all the worlds" mother said and raised her hands up in the sky, in glory and praises to the Gracious One, the Exalted One.
Father grinned without looking at her, as his eyes fixated on the road ahead, his hands resting on the wheels.
I sat at the back looking at the road ahead intently till I saw it running towards us, instead of the car running on it, and my ten-year-old brain swell in fascination at the experience.
Father studied me every now and then through the mirror, and his grinned broadens even more. He is always looking for ways to laugh at my tootheless mouth, I know.
I looked at him through the mirror with a stone face, daring him to laugh at me then we will fight.
I could see him trying very hard not to laugh and the act cause his face to contort like the wrinkled face of an old granny having a bad day.
then we challenge each other to the task till we couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing…
"okay, what is funny, will you boys tell me what you are laughing about?" mother asked. I and dad simply looked at each through the rear mirror, scratching our heads intuitively at the same time.
We knew we are in trouble, for no amount of explanation will convince mom that we are not laughing at her songs of praises.
And the fact that we both know this very truth only make matters worse. we burst out laughing uproariously, knowing very well that we will be grounded once we reach home.
Today is an important day, I don't know the occasion, but I think it's important enough for paps to get me a new dress.
How I wore it, how I walked in it, will convince any onlooker that this kid is on top of his game.
With cheetah steps, I walked towards the car, careful not soil my new shoes. And I have never smell better, mommy had taken her time to perfumed me head to toe…
The car was slowing down as we took a curve, and I saw the huge structure towards which we were now heading. They were people, lots of them in suits, wow it's a party, I love parties.
Soon, we reach a makeshift entrance, where the gate man opens the gate and bowed in respect to the car. Perhaps, because it's a new car, what do I care.
my eyes opened with childish Glee and anticipation, looking straight ahead at the splashy edifice, sparkling in the morning sun like a thing with a life of its own.
Then I saw the big bill board or sign board. What I saw on that board, the bold colorful calligraphy inscribed in my mind an image that was so real and vibrant. I knew it will stay with me forever till the end of my days…
Everyone was clapping now, except father, and they seem to be closing in on us. Mother had her head tilted to the sky, tears trickling down her hers.
What is wrong with this woman? everyone is happy and laughing, she is crying, and looking up in the skies singing hymns.
I was giddy to get this party started, wow, the logo I just saw on the bill board boldly beam at me lively in vivid colors on the front of the white t-shift most of the adults were wearing.
WODMAX CO.LTD, it was love at first site. I fell in love with the name, the color use to write it, and the spelling as I struggle to pronounce it with my toothless mouth.
"Kuga, come here son" father called, and I run to him like a puppy with my nose dripping.
He handed me a scissors to do what? I wonder, "cut the strip" father instructed and bowed to guide me to perform the act.
I found the act repulsive, for I love new things that glitter, and the golden strip gleams into my eyes. I wanted to throw the scissors right there and runaway.
Albeit, everyone seems to be waiting for me, but my attention drifted to something else. The sweet aroma of the delicacies lingering close by.
I thought to myself. if cutting the strip will get us out of the sun into the shade to enjoy the food that beckons me now, what am I waiting for?
I cut through the strip, and an uproar of palms smacking palms resonated in the air, and I smack with them happily, using the back of my hand to wipe my leaking nose in the process.
Someone was looking at me with a shrinking nose as I did this. A girl my age. Mother came to my rescue using a tissue to wipe my nose clean.
I looked at the girl and poke my tongue out through my toothless hole mockingly. Mother saw this silent exchange, and spank me on the head, and I nearly cried in humiliation.
Father mounted the stage, when the host call upon him to deliver his speech. A man of few words, forced by necessity to stand in the sun to deliver a long oratory, while everybody else sat under the shade relaxing and sipping cold drinks.
I looked at all of them with contempt, this is not fair I thought to myself. I will cause a commotion.
I stood up and start to take a walk around looking for trouble. Then, I saw Alice in wonder land, my nemesis who was looking at me with scorn earlier, when I was wiping my nose with the back of my hands.
She was sitting like an adult on one of the chairs listening to father as though she understood all that he was saying. Oh, what a hypocrite.
I walked towards her with a bottle of sobolo in one hand, uncorking it, and pretending to sip as I approach her. I planned to stain her white Sunday dress with a spill of the deep pink juice.
She will cry if I succeed, no doubt.
There came an abrupt silence. Father had stopped speaking, and I turned to look his way. He had his eyes locked on mine.
Now, look at this old man, I am trying to save him and he is looking at me as though I am the enemy.
His stare carries an encrypted message only I could decipher. I turn around and walked backed to my seat fuming and cursing everyone in my head.
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Soon it was all over and we hit the road again, going home… dad and mom were in deep conversation.
We got to a T-junction, where the traffic showed green. Father gassed on. On our right flank however, was this big truck on top speed, gassing towards our car, although the traffic light showed red on his lane. Father seem not to notice this.
Our car never crosses the middle of the road to the other side. The huge truck crashed and clear the car of the road… and all went dark afterwards.
I gasp and open my eyes but my sight was foggy. Then, I saw men rushed to come and helped us get out from the wreckage, or so I did think.
Mothers side was smashed in and bloody. Father was still alive and breathing when they hastily pop three bullets into his brain.
In the hazy mind of a ten-year-old who did watch more action movies and played war games, and have the heroes come back to life everytime, I concluded its just like in the movies and games, and father can't die…
I watched as the darkness engulf me, and I smile a toothless smile.
Father is putting me to bed and all is fine. I will wake up the next day and we will joke about it. it's one of those unusual dreams.
When I wake up from coma in three weeks' time, giddy to see mom and pap's, it turns out that they have gone to a place far away up in the skies and will not return.
They will be watching over me from up there.
At least, that is what the adults around me were trying to tell me, but only I knew what I saw.
my parents were killed right before my eyes, and instead of flying into the skies, their bodies are buried six feet beneath earth.
The nightmares assault my inner world in my sleep. Every night I saw the bogie men empting their magazines into pap's brain, and the bullets rain in thousands.
I was surprise, when I later learn in the papers and the news that father and mother died of an accident.
when I started to talked about what I know, it was my word against everyone, and they nearly put me in a mental hospital, but granny escaped with me into the ghetto slum.
I grew up with this hatred, pain, vile bitter bile for anything lawful, for society as a whole, for in my mind's eye there is no law on this earth.
It's just the powerful tramping upon the weak. granny was there to guide me all the way….
But to live a full fledge life one person couldn't contain me, it was at this time my alter ego 'spooky' was born.
Born out of Post Traumatic Disorder. perhaps I needed a shrink. maybe, I am better off on my own.
As I grow up, I found the hidden monstrosity of humans the greatest of all crimes, but nobody seems to care.
So, I tread on my own hidden path looking out for myself and grandma, knowing very well that monsters are made rather than created.
I live with this burden, this story, who will listen? Many a night I woke up soaked in sweat and pain, is there something to live for?
Now, I want only one thing, and that is to protect and nurture my father's legacy, my legacy, is that too much to ask?
With heavy chains, I shackled my nine devils; ego, greed, censure, pain, zeal to kill, self-disgust and loathing, competitive streak, mad fury, sorrow, search of the ideal, quest to find success, the misery of living in this reality, and my many countless devils whispering into my ears.
My virtues and vices in constant battle. In an effort to keep all this at bay breeds insanity. Yet man must still walk the earth and keep a straight face, les this venomous spite consumes him.
Who am I? I still don't know. What am I? I have search, and search, every nook and cranny I could think of but still came out empty….
Where am I now? I don't know, I am probably dead. But how can I die without sharing this story. how is it going to end? Perhaps it's only beginning, perhaps it has just begun.
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"gramma, why did they do it?" I asked when we first settled in the slums. We had just finish eating, and were enjoying a quiet time, watching the flame dance in the lantern.
"what do you mean spooky mouth?"
"why did they kill father and mother?". "come her now my boy" she croons, signaling me to sit beside her.
I moved to her side, and she cradle me with one long skiny arm.
"look into the flames spooky", she instructed and I looked into the flames hoping to see something extraordinary.
"how long do you think that flame gon burn spooky?"
"I don't know gramma, but I think not so long". she nodded in acquiescence.
"yes spooky, not so long, yet every day we ignite it and it becomes the same fire, it never changes, it has the same color and heat, and it dances the same dance, why is that spooky?"
I toss the question in my eleven years' quizzical brain till I heard it throb and tick like a clock.
yet, I couldn't muster any answer.
"what makes fire burn gramma?" I asked instead, and she grinned her most infectious crooked grin, one most people claimed I inherited from the woman.
"oh spooky, nothing could have answer the question better than your question" she laughed a mysterious laugh this time.
"yes spooky, what makes a fire burn, and keeps burning? But isn't your question its own answer spooky?"
"oh spooky, no one have come this close to reasoning with me, not even my father's father or my father, nor my dead husband, or my son, your father.
No, they all kept their distance from me, but you are a puzzle yet, spooky."
"what is a puzzle gramma?". "all them twist and turns in your moving mind, my boy".
"so why did they do it gramma?". "oh spooky, I thought we've answered that one.....
"this flame and the one we burn yesterday, which one do you prefer spooky?"
"this one gramma". "and why is that spooky?".
"because yesterday flame is dead, but this one is burning now, lighting up the chamber."
"is your question answered now spooky?". "no gramma."
"well boy, you listen now and listen good… your mamma and papa are the yesterday flame, they aint coming back spooky.
You are to days' flame. Now, how to keep that flame burning into the future is a power only you can control spooky.
Every time you asked starting with the 'why' of men you lose everything because you keep going to a dead past that isn't real anymore." She giggled and pause as I begun to dose off….
"maybe you should start with the 'how' my boy. Asked yourself how do I keep this flame burning as long as it could possible burn.
You move in that lane, and all other things will fall in place, and there will be no more questions, only answers my boy…
go to bed now, I will be here to keep the nightmares away." Granny grinned mischievously, as I clumsily move towards the bed, knowing I will forget everything she did said the next day.
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are we still together on this journey? thanks for coming this far. drop your comments, let's have a blast.
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