Oh, how I hate myself! What a fool I am! I regret it! I regret it immensely now! I should have done something! Instead of just sitting there and admiring her from a distance, I should have gotten up, walked up to her, and tried talking to her; although I had nothing in my inventory worth talking with someone I was talking to the first time, if I had just taken the jump, I would have at least done something or even my friends could have pitched in some help. But, what did I do? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! And now I regret it! Now, I can do nothing but regret and lament my inaction!
Ever since that day, there has not been a single moment where my brain was not occupied by thoughts of her.
Who was that girl? Where did she live? What was she doing there on the heights? Where was she going? What was her name? And...
"...why did she leave me behind...?"
For some reason, I ended up vocalizing that last question which I wasn't even sure why left my mouth. I had not even thought of it inside my head so it was a mystery to me why I was asking myself the reason why she left me behind. How did she even leave me behind? In what sense? For her to have left me behind, we first had to walk down the same path, together, matching step to step. But that had not happened as I had only met that girl once and just that once. So it was weird for that question to have rolled off my tongue.
"I am getting weird these days."
And I was well aware that the reason for it was that very girl.
Ever since I had seen that girl, I started getting weird. There are times when I am completely lost in my thoughts and one time I zoned out in the middle of the crosswalk and a truck nearly rolled over me. I get up from bed to do something and when I take one step forward, I completely forget what it was that I was setting out to do as thoughts of that girl course my mind out of the blue.
I was obsessed. That was the only word that could describe my current condition. I was obsessed with that girl.
I want to see that girl again. I want to see her face again. I want to see her smile again. I want to look into her eyes again. I want to hold her face in my hands and do nothing but stare at her from up close for eternity. I want to get lost in her eyes again. I want to hold her hands again. I want her to interlock her fingers with mine again. I want to walk together with her sharing the same umbrella again. I want to hug her tight again. I want to wrap my arms around her as we sleep together for the rest of our lives, again. I want to kiss her again. I want to kiss her hands, kiss her cheeks, kiss her forehead, kiss her eyes, kiss her neck and kiss her lips and kiss her tongue, again. I just want her to be with me. Again.
It was weird that all of these thoughts occupied my brain when I had met her only once. It felt like I was hallucinating, after all, I had never walked together with her or held her hands, but in my dreams, I saw the two of us together, doing all those things like a lover would. There was no way it had happened yet I couldn't help but feel that it actually had. That was how obsessed I was with her.
She was literally the last thought I had before bed, the only thought I had in my dreams, and the first thought after I woke up every morning.
This really was strange. Never did I ever think that I would come to obsess over someone to this extent.
But, it really was strange that I could come to love someone just by seeing her once. Was this what people say love at first sight? I liked to dwell around it then something, somewhere inside my heart screamed that it was not love at first sight, and in fact, I had known this girl for a very long time now and it was only natural that I fall in love with her.
It really was strange that with each passing day, my feelings for that girl only grew stronger and I kept falling deeper and deeper.