"When the ones we love die, we must commit suicide."
*
"You are.....," I squinted my eyes as much as possible and tried to discern the face of the man before me. "...Ben, right?"
"So I am!" Ben said in a loud voice and the rest of the boys laughed good-naturedly.
"I managed to guess every one of you right!" I was equally idiotically happy and I punched the air in celebration.
"But you really do have bad eyesight, man." Peter placed his hands on my shoulder and made fun of my poor eyesight but not in a way that would offend me or anyone else present. As friends, we knew when someone was being sarcastic and when they were being mean. In Peter's case, there was no difficulty for me to understand he was making fun of me without ill intentions and his voice had a bit of empathy mixed in as well.
"That I do. I think my power is negative four, but I believe it has gone up a bit. I need to consult the doctor regarding that before I think of repairing my glasses."
"How the hell did you break your glasses in the first place?" The one to ask that question was the tall-statured Ryan.
"It seems I fell off my bed in the morning and knocked the glasses off my bedside table down to the floor and when I landed, I, unfortunately, happened to land squarely above them."
You all may have wondered why the hell I was squinting at Ben. It was because I had broken my glasses in the morning today and I didn't have any spare ones so I had to walk around without glasses. I tell you it is tough. I tripped and fell more times than I could count on my way to where I was currently having a chat with my buddies. I misjudged the distance between me and an old lady coming from ahead and collided with her. I had to help her assemble the things that had poured out on the road as I was scolded both by the old lady and the drivers who had to stop their vehicles because of me. I collided twice with the electricity pole and instead of asking me if I was okay, the people around me just kept on laughing. Bad lots, I tell you, they are all! To conclude, it was a night(day)mere. After I reached here with no glasses and told my friends I couldn't see properly and pick apart the details on their faces, they suggested that we play a game where I will have to guess who the person is from a fixed distance.
"So you are the type to toss and turn a bit too much on bed. I am just glad you didn't hit your head or blast your balls! Ha-ha!" Ryan cackled at his own joke.
"No, I am a still sleeper. I don't move once I enter deep sleep mode. I don't know why but I just happened to fall this morning. Strange."
"What? You had a bad dream or something?" Asked Peter.
"No, I don't think so," I replied as I couldn't recall anything that would count as a nightmare. Heck, I don't even think I saw a dream today or even yesterday or even the day before yesterday. Now that I think about it, I haven't had dreams since a month ago. I found that strange but maybe I saw dreams but just couldn't remember them. So I left that train of thought and changed the topic to something worthwhile.
"Enough of me. How are things going for you, Ben?"
"They are going smooth, smoother than I expected. I have already submitted all my documents and I have my medical examination next month. After I pass, then I will get the visa and fly away."
"How much longer will you be around?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the ground. I sat next to him while Ben and Peter kept standing.
"Two months at best."
"I see. So we will get to hang out like this for just two more months." There was a certain feeling of loneliness in his words and we all understood him as we all felt the same.
"It will be sad without you around," Peter said. "That it will." I agreed.
"I will be as well but there's nothing I can do about it and you guys know it as well."
That was true. Ben was applying for a work and study visa abroad. We were all now already at the age where we had to start thinking about our future and our careers. As much as we wanted to goof around and have fun all day, we were well aware that we can't just keep on behaving like kids forever. Ben's decision to go abroad and look for better opportunities for his future and for his family made us all think about what we were going to do ourselves because sooner or later we all had to - there was no escaping the clutches of society.
The four of us were silent for a while.
It was the month of April. We were right in the middle of spring. The time was 4 in the afternoon. We were up on the edge of the small park-like area on the height of the area where we lived from where we could see all the houses, tall buildings, roads, and other structures that dotted our small, little town. It was our little hang-out spot where we have hung out and played around since we were little kids.
Now we were adults, looking at the scenery below that changed with each passing day while we reflected on the days gone by and ruminated on the days that were to come.
A cool spring breeze was blowing against us that ruffled my hair. Suddenly, the strong wind became a gust and my hair blew sideways to my right. I turned a bit to the right to manage and put my ruffled hair back into place when I caught something from the corner of my eyes.
There I saw her - the spring of my life bathed in pink flowers from head to toe, walking towards me, or at least that was what it looked like to me. Her skin was as white and as pure as untrodden snow while her eyes carried all the warmth the summer had to offer. She walked slowly and elegantly, towards who knows where. My eyes followed her every movement and every breath she drew from her moist, pink lips.
There was a loud pounding in my heart that I thought I have never felt before at first but at the same time, something in the back of my mind told me that that wasn't true. But, at that moment, I could spare no attention to that insignificant thought as compared to the girl on whom my eyes were trained.
My body was planted on the ground and my eyes were fixed on her. As I watched her with bated breath and captivation, I felt like her eyes met mine, but for a moment, and that was enough to send shivers down my spine. Her eyes and her presence, now, felt ephemeral to me, as if she would disappear if I so much as blinked and at the same time, a feeling of guilt rose up in my chest, that I was gawking at a girl that I felt I was meeting or rather seeing for the first time. But even then, I still wanted to see her for as long as I could, and thus, I did, until I no longer could see her from where I was standing as she walked right behind me where Ben and Peter were standing which blocked my view completely.
Now, she was gone. A sudden feeling of loneliness assailed me as I sat there looking down at the same magnificent view of our little town below, which now grew desolate to my eyes that had just seen the truly beautiful one.
It must have been but a moment, I knew that, but the time from when I first laid eyes upon her to now seemed to be stretching continuously at that moment. It was blissful, it set my heart aflutter but now that she was gone, my heart sank deep. In just a moment, I was missing a girl that I had seen for the very first time. Strange, isn't it?
But then, I heard a voice.
It was a voice I thought I had heard for the first time yet it rang with familiarity in my eardrums. Her voice was smooth and sonorous like a drop of water falling in a silent pond. I had seen that girl for the very first time yet my heart, somehow, knew that the voice that the summer breeze carried to my ears belonged to none but her. More than her voice, what shocked me the most however was what she spoke.
"SXXXX XXX!"
I unconsciously grabbed the grass around me so tight that they were uprooted from the ground below. My heart once again was pounding crazily, more than before.
I couldn't believe my ears. That girl, that girl that I had only seen today had just called my name. How? How did she know my name? Does she know me? Have I met here before?..... No, I think I have not. Then, how did she know my name? Or maybe I am hallucinating or something? It might be that the girl had said something else. Or rather, she might not have said anything at all and had already gone to where she was heading. The loneliness that I was feeling over having lost her might have caused my brain to think that she was calling me. But, still, I couldn't be sure by myself so I decided to ask my friends.
"Hey, did someone just call my name?"
"No, I don't think so," Peter replied.
Ben looked around and there was no one there except for us four. The girl had already disappeared from my sight.
"There is no one else but us here."
"O-Oh, must be my ears playing tricks on me, then."
Peter looked at me weirdly for a while then gave up.
The four of us sat there for a while longer while we chatted about usual inane things and as for me, I spent the whole of that time musing about the girl that I had seen today.