Often I find a lack of self a flicking so many in the modern era
A vision of what one wants to become or an ideal self comes easily. However, often such visions of ideal come from comparison, comparing one's self to a celebrity, or an idolized style. Most religions are built upon this idea of comparison sense of an ideal self often believing that acting more similar to a savior or deity will lead to a more fulfilled and happy life often leading to a heaven sort of world beyond death.
Notwithstanding, such attempts to achieve some sort of betterment through comparison often fall short as the task seems more daunting than previously believed. Such beliefs are a denial of the self as comparison won't allow you to evaluate the beliefs yourself thus preventing you from intrinsically motivating yourself to become your ideal self.