I looked at the time on my smartwatch and saw that it had already gone past, well into the afternoon. I arose from my minimalist arranged office desk and made my way through the two-large doors, into the secretarial area outside.
"Andrea" I called to my pretty and chubby faced secretary.
She quickly lifted her head from whatever she was doing and without responding she nodded her head, knowing straight way my intentions.
I have been living in London since I was adopted at the age of fifteen, and yet I continue to be amazed at the differences between what I had been accustomed to whilst living in South Korea, and the cultural contrast within the UK.
As I disregarded Andrea's normal response, my mind arbitrarily reflected on how such a response would have been viewed as disrespectful in South Korean culture. Yet again, someone like Andrea wouldn't often be seen working as a CEO secretary, even in multicultural Britain it was uncommon for a black woman to be in such a position. If it were Korea, she wouldn't have even made it through the doors for an interview, her viewed plus size figure would have been an immediate rejection and then her skin colour. I exhaled disappointingly at the fact that she herself is fully aware of such a detail, as I recalled a conversation, I once had with her, where she stated her love for my country, but wouldn't visit, on the grounds, that her skin colour always attracts the worst kind of people in this world.
I gently shock my head wanting to rid my mind of such unpleasant thoughts, lifting my wrist to check the time once again, I quickened my pace, wanting to get to where I was going sooner. Hurriedly, I made my way down the narrow corridors past various empty office cubicles to the elevator.
The building had been quiet since the pandemic, with only a handful of employees frequenting the newly built office space.
Though the limited number of people was personally welcomed by myself, the only downside being I still hadn't got used to the numerous daily online Zoom meetings.
After pressing the button within the elevator to bring me to my desired destination, I finally arrived at a medium size room, that was decorated for a child. Within the room were two people, one a child who was confined to a wheelchair and the other a middle-aged Caucasian female, who was tending to the child's needs.
"How has she been doing today, Barbara?" I asked the female as I walked in,
her facial expression brightened has I walked through the door.
She then turned her attention to Lisa and questionably asked, "you've been a good girl today, haven't you, Lisa?" she spoke, in her thick Londoner accent.
Lisa bounded excitedly in her chair, at Barbara's question as though answering her. Barbara is Lisa's personal carer and has been since my mother had to travel back to South Korea three months ago.
"That's good, thank you" I replied, walking in the direction of Lisa, who was moving erratically in her wheelchair due to her disability.
Lisa had (Cerebral palsy) and has been living with us since the early parts of the year, at fifteen, she's the same age I was when I have been adopted. My mother, while carrying out her usual charity work within some of UK children home. Found that due to the pandemic, countless children had ended up in the system, especially those who suffered with disability. Soft-hearted as always, she couldn't resist adopting Lisa, in fact, if my mother had, had her own why she would adopt and foster the world's abandoned children.
"Hay Lisa, your big brother his here, are you ready to have lunch with your *Oppa?" I got closer to her and spoke, I would often use the term Oppa, as it made her giggle with joy and dance around in her chair each time, I used the term. As mother and I often watch k-dramas at home, when Lisa had first arrived, we found that such dramas helped her to calm down, during her most stressful period. I found out later that she enjoyed the term *Oppa and would be become increasingly excited whenever she would hear the young girls on the screen, referred to their brothers and boyfriends in such manner. With her inability to speak, all her actions become her voice, therefore the more excited her body language the more she was infatuated with that thing.
At that moment, as though on cue, a familiar ringtone came from my phone, and I knew instantly who it would be.
I lowered my head close towards Lisa's face and in a soft tone I began to tease her.
"Lisa, do you know who's calling Oppa?" I watched as she got even more excited than before, causing her whole body to move wildly.
I pouted my lips and pretended to sulk, "aww Lisa Oppa is sad now, how can you be happier towards another person?" my actions made her even more excited making her face lit up in a bright smile. After giving her a quick smile, I press the green answer button on my phone.
Immediately the beautiful face of a female popped on to the screen, "hey mom" I answered, delighted to see her.
"Hello darling are you okay?" she greeted me, while smiling happily through the phone. Her smooth dark skin shined just as radiant on camera as well as off camera. Whenever she smiled, I couldn't help but feel comforted and loved, it was unbelievable that this woman loved me even though I was not of her blood.
"Am okay mom, things are going quite well here, everyone is well...nothing's happened since we spoke last night" I answered her playfully, feeling more clam upon hearing her voice. I found that no matter how bad my day may have gone, one call from my mother always calmed my mood.
"Aww that's good to hear son, I know mum's left a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, and for that mother is so so so very sorry my darling. But don't worry, I should be back soon, and you can get a well-deserved break. Anyway, how is my princess doing, I'm dying to see her….. Lisa baby girl". She finally revealed her real reason for calling. I placed the camera on the stand I had already set up in the room and left my mother with an overexcited Lisa.
Lisa wasn't my mother's biological child, no she was adopted like myself and my other siblings, my adopted parents only have one biological child Chan-Yeol, whom is much older than myself.
I had thought at the time that my life would have become more difficult, as I was not their own, and as embarrassed as I am to admit this today. I was afraid of being adopted by my mother, who is black. But I would be lying if I said she treated me any less than her own flesh and blood. Even when at times my own behaviour was unforgivable, she never turned her back on me, and that's what scares me the most about this woman. How can she love others so unconditionally without expecting anything in return, how could she be this pure of heart and considerate towards others? The thought truly terrified, and it is such thoughts, which makes me determined to do whatever I can to keep from disappointing her.
As I look at her smiling face, filled with joy speaking through the phone, I cannot deny my admiration for her.
"Lisa, mummy misses you so so so much, do you miss mummy too?" She asked an unable to speak Lisa.
My mother had adopted Lisa at the beginning of the year, after visiting one of the many children's home, she sponsors in the UK and overseas. After hearing about Lisa's story, she couldn't help herself as she always said and the next minute our family home ended up with a new addition. Much to my father's surprise when he came home and saw Lisa, my mother amidst of all her joy had forgotten to tell him, how that was possible I don't know, not that he would have objected.
As my mind pondered over trivial but happy thoughts, I was pulled back to reality at the calling of my name by my mother.
"Cheolsu darling, mummy has something to tell, I have been thinking hard and seeing Lisa now I have decided. I will be coming back to the UK; I miss you children too much and with Lisa needing so much attention I can't continue to work overseas. Therefore, your father and I have been speaking, and we had suggested having you come here and work with him and your brother on the projects we're overseeing. If things go well, we may make you take over the branch here in Seoul, until we can make proper arrangements on how where we will decide to settle down permanently". She shockingly revealed to me.
Her words hit the deepest parts of my soul, go back to Korea? I couldn't speak for a while as a million thoughts ran through my mind in that short moment.
My silence even came as a shock to my mother, who quickly picked up on my hesitation at her request.
"Do you find coming back here uncomfortable?" She asked.
Awww No! I thought to myself, my mother had this bizarre ability of being precative of others, ever since I've known her I couldn't hide my true feelings from her, I swear if she had become a police detective instead of an architect she would have been branded a human lie director.
I pursed my lips and tried to force myself to smile genuinely to prove I was fine, but I knew she could see through such a façade easily. "No…. Mother am fine… with going back there…. I'm just you know… I guess surprised…" I tried to convince her.
For a moment, she didn't say anything and just looked at me with those radiant brown eyes of hers, then finally nodded her head reluctantly accepting my response.
It was uncommon for her to not push on the matter further, but she needed to sacrifice something, and that something was me. And it was a sacrifice I was both willing and reluctant to accept.
*oppa- is a Korean term used by females to call their elder brother or close male friends or boyfriends.