It really was a good day. I sniffed in the sweetness of the air and all but stretched. I could almost forget that this place had set my teeth on edge several nights ago.
A maiden with hair as red as her eyes were bright had showed up a few days ago, introduced as my new maid, Claire. I soon found out that she was a chatterbox, bubbly and bright, obviously still untainted by the Emperor’s tarnishing gloom.
She said she’d show me around the castle, and I wasn’t letting her off the hook.
Claire giggled when I took her hand and took that as a mark to begin her side job.
“Well, this, as you already know, is the courtyard. The guards sometimes assemble here when the Emperor wants to speak to all of them at the same time.”
I looked at the ocean of space and spotted some of the rose bushes the night I arrived.
“Where does he address them from?”
“From up there,” she pointed Eastward, and at just that moment, the Emperor chose to walk out and appear in his veranda.
My throat instantly went dry at the sight of him and I stiffened.
“And there, as you can see, is the Emperor himself.”
He looked just about as menacing as the last time I had seen him. The look in his eyes was cold, somber, and serious. Yet, all of that only added to the aura of regality that surrounded him.
“Everyone is scared of him. You don’t seem scared of him,” I said to Claire when I managed to peel my eyes away from the Emperor. Believe me, nothing was harder.
She turned to face me, and she looked lost in thought. “By ‘him’, I believe you mean the Emperor?”
“Yes,” I said, looking across the landscape, over a nearby stream. Anywhere else but up, where that man might have still been looking down on us from.
She shrugged before speaking, “I’ve heard some things, never actually seen much of everything. But for the most part, he has never gone out of his way to hurt me, or anyone I love. He lets us do our job as long as we are loyal to him and this castle. As for the rest? I guess to fear him is to have done something against him and I haven’t.”
She looked at me. “Neither have you, Your Highness.”
“I guess not.” Although, he acted as though I had.
“Then there’s nothing to fear.”
I studied her for a moment and smiled. I guess the ones who acted like they didn’t have deep thoughts were the ones with the deep thoughts.
“Thank you, Claire. Those were very wise words.”
She smiled at me.
“I’m glad you think that way, Your Highness, as you’ll be having a conversation with him soon.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, drawing my brows together, and then turned around to see what she was staring at.
My heart nearly fell out of my chest at the sight of the Emperor coming in my direction.
How had he moved so fast?
“Sire,” Claire said and did a curtsy. I did the same, my mind reeling with questions.
‘What could he possibly want?’ I asked myself and found his eyes on me when I rose my head.
“I see you’re gaining knowledge of the grounds,” he said. The calmness of his tone surprised me. “Maybe when you’re finished you may join me for your breakfast.”
I didn’t know how to decline and he was walking away before I could find the right words to do so.
I turned helplessly to Claire who just shrugged, her eyes bright. It was obvious there was nothing she could do, even if she wanted to. I felt so sick to my stomach; did I even have to eat breakfast at all?
During our first encounter, he had asked me to join him for breakfast and I declined, lied through my teeth boldly and told him I wasn’t hungry.
I didn’t think that lie would work for me a second time.
“I couldn’t just have breakfast with you?” I asked sadly after the Emperor was out of sight. She let out a small chuckle and shook her head.
“I’m afraid not, Your Highness. But trust me, it’s not going to be that bad,” she said kindly.
I heaved out a breath, staring at her as I thought about all the ways I could avoid the Emperor today. But I couldn’t. Although I feared him, there was a part of me that wanted to know him better.
“I think there should be hot crusted buns today, coated with honey. You ought to enjoy it, as it’s almost everyone’s favourite.” She chattered away as we began walking the grounds of the castle and ended up outside the vineyard. “Breakfast should be served soon. I think His Majesty might even already be waiting for you, Your Highness.”
The thought of it made my heart sink into my tummy. The entire walk back into the main building felt as though I had lead strapped to my feet.
“He usually eats alone?” I asked. “The Emperor that is.”
Claire seemed to ponder my words for a moment and then shrugged.
“I suppose he does. He eats with Prince Alucard sometimes but more often than not dines alone.”
So how was I going to be any kind of company to someone who was used to being alone?
I didn’t let any of my misgivings known to Claire. Because, to be honest, what really was she going to do for me?
“Shall I lead you to the dining hall, Princess?” Claire asked, smiling.
I thought back to my little adventure in the night; I had spotted the dining room then, not too far away from the kitchen.
“I think I’ll be able to find my way,” I replied.
“Alright then,” she said. “Please excuse me, in that case.” She dipped into a curtsy, lifting up her skirt slightly.
I bit my bottom lip as Claire made to walk away. In the end, I wasn’t able to stop myself from speaking up.
“Are you sure you can’t join us, Claire?”
It wasn’t that I was afraid of Emperor Fenrir — even though I was — but rather because it felt like I’ve finally made a new friend that I could actually trust in this foreign place.
Claire shook her head, smiling sadly. “I’m afraid not, Your Highness,” she answered.
“A picnic later today, then? The weather is so lovely.”
“I would be honored,” she replied.
With another bow, she scuttered off. I let out a deep breath.
I walked down the path I recognized to lead to the dining hall, stopping on the way to look in a mirror that hung on the wall.all. Unconsciously, I began to tidy my appearances. I actually looked good. But my fear wasn’t that the Emperor wouldn’t think I looked attractive or not, but that he wouldn’t value it.
That he would not value me enough to not be a monster to me.