Our apartment in Ueno was in a small building, tucked away at the very end of a small street shaded by trees. The first day of September was still lush and green, and as we followed the large moving truck up the street, I felt grounded observing the neighbourhood. There were only three small houses on the street, traditional in style much like Aki's Kamakura house, and well kept. Aki parked the car in the space designated for our apartment, and we loitered leaning against the car for a while watching the movers bring the large furniture and some boxes inside. We bowed to them as they left, making quick work of unloading the truck, and climbed the stairs to the entrance. The building was three floors, with only two units on each floor, allowing a large space for each occupant to create a comfortable home. We hadn't seen any of the other occupants in the building yet, but I expected the moving commotion would stir their curiosity as to who was living in their community.
Aki stopped me with a hand on my shoulder as we reached the front door. He hooked one arm around my back and the other quickly under my knees and lifted me effortlessly. He pressed the door with a foot, walked inside, and set me down in the entryway. I was surprised, and looked to him for an explanation. "I had to carry you over the threshold." Was all he said.
We had decided to bring the furniture from my apartment, as Aki's house was staying in tact in Kamakura. I didn't have much, but as we arranged the big pieces amongst the boxes, the wide open space began to feel familiar, like I could call it home. We put my bed frame together quickly, and made the bed with sheets and a blanket, anticipating an entire day of unpacking would exhaust us, and we would need a ready place to crash for the night. Aki ordered take out food as we unboxed the kitchen appliances and dishes. The afternoon grew dark as we sat on the floor together in front of the floor to ceiling balcony window. It spanned the majority of the wall and faced the street, giving us a third storey view of trees, the tops of the houses, and in the distance, the lights of Tokyo.
I leaned back and supported myself on my elbows, sighing deeply and looking out over the city lights of my new home. "I love it so far." I said to Aki, still sitting with his legs crossed beside me. "It's kind of scary to think that in a few days I'll be starting university, but I'm looking forward to how I'll be able to contribute to our life together."
Aki laughed. "Natsu, you sang on stage with Guardian. You have nothing to worry about." He got up and crossed the room, taking something from his backpack and returning to his spot on the floor with me. "I have something for you."
He handed me a small square box. It was navy blue crushed velvet, the type that was used for jewelry. It fit in the palm of my hand, and the top was rounded slightly like a treasure chest. I looked at him hard for a beat. "Aki…" I was afraid to open it.
He shook his head, smiling wide. "Don't get the wrong idea." He said, opening the top of the box. "But actually, it's close to that idea." Inside, nestled in a pillow, was a ring. It was a black metal band, and carved in a relief all the way around was a traditional phoenix design. "This is my ring." He continued to explain. "It's a pretty recognizable ring I always wear, because it has the phoenix on it, which is part of Guardian's logo, and also one of my entire arms." He took the ring from the box, and took my hand, and cautiously slid it onto my ring finger. He tested the fit, making sure it wasn't too loose, and when he was satisfied, he brought my hand to his lips to place a kiss on my fingers. "I want you to have it as a promise, and a placeholder. You promise to give it back to me some day, and I promise to replace it someday. Deal?"
Looking at the ring closer, I recognized it as the one Aki had always worn on his pinky finger. It had always seemed to be there, whether he was sleeping, in the shower, or on stage, he never seemed to remove it. Suddenly, it was being offered to me as something of importance to him, a symbol that I was something of importance to him as well. "Deal, Hasegawa-san." I said. "Thank you, Aki."
"I have something else for you." He took out his phone, pressing some buttons, and music started to play. He got up and placed the phone on the kitchen counter, turning the volume up. A soft flute melody was playing accompanied by a few strings. Aki opened a hand to me, inviting me to join him. "Dance with me." He said.
I took his hand, and he used the hold to guide it to his shoulder. He laced his fingers with mine on the other hand, and pulled me against his body with a grip around the back of my hip. It reminded me of the way we danced at the summer Obon festival when I was slightly drunk, but he kept me safe all night and even into the morning. We moved in slow circles around the open space between the kitchen and living room, not saying anything, not feeling the need to. "Is the dance the something else you have for me?" I asked, deciding whether I should relax into the moment or expect it to dissolve into something else.
He let go of my hand and used his fingertips to trace my jawline. "Not exactly." He kissed me once, then again a little deeper, and again even more deeply, breathing me in. He lead me in the dance to the bedroom, using a kiss to take my senses from me so I had nothing better to do but follow his lead as he sat me on the bed. He crawled on his hands and knees over me as I let him back me into the pillows at the head of the bed, and he caught me in a long kiss as I laid back against them. I wrapped my fingers around the silver chain he wore as he lowered his body to me, letting his weight rest with me gently. The bedside table lamp was on, a familiar warm glow like a candlelight radiating through the room, casting hard shadows on one side of everything. The atmosphere was comforting, and I felt like we could take our time in that room, bathed in that light.
We parted long enough to look at each other's faces, Aki's eyes staring hard into mine, like he was looking for permission for something. He pushed himself onto his knees, hooking one hand under my thigh to lift it to make room for himself. He pulled his shirt over his head and let it go on the bed. His fingers found their way under the bottom hem of my shirt, smoothing over the skin of my stomach, over my chest, lingering only slightly to feel the silk of my bra. I lifted myself enough to allow him to pull my shirt over my head. "Just focus on me." He said. "Are you still nervous getting undressed around me?" He asked. He settled his weight on me again as I nodded, keeping my eyes on his. He smiled lightly, a content sort of look on his face. "After tonight you won't be."
In the morning the bedroom was dark, but light streamed in through the living room window, illuminating the doorway. I lay on my side facing the door, Aki warmly pressed against my back, both arms holding me tightly. I took a moment to allow my body to wake and feel him there, one hand in the crease of my hip and thigh, the curves of us resting perfectly together. I turned my head only slightly to steal a glance over my shoulder at his sleeping face.
"Good morning." To my surprise, he spoke without opening his eyes. He had been simply resting there, unmoving, allowing me to continue sleeping.
"Good morning." I said. "How long have you been awake, and isn't your arm numb by now?" I turned to face him, and he guided my leg over his hip to rest.
"I only just woke up. I don't even know what time it is." He shifted closer so our skin could touch. His eyes were half lidded and heavy looking, but his face showed nothing but peace. "What do you think of waking up with me in our very own place?"
The thought hadn't crossed my mind. I was used to waking up beside Aki, as we had been inseparable for months, but I had never remained in a state of complete undress with him through the entire night. I always became self conscious and retrieved my underwear and a t-shirt at some point through the night, feeling exposed, nervous about the way his hands on my body felt. I realized looking at him in that moment, his hands on my skin, my skin against his, that I felt nothing but love.
"It's peaceful and wonderful." I said, using my hands to cover my face at the realization I was having, letting go of the notion that I should be modest and allowing myself to relish in the feeling of being comfortable. "How did you do that?"
He breathed a laugh. "I told you." He said. "We really jumped into things, and I could see you were struggling to force yourself to accept it as normal. I promised to give you a real 'first time' night, and I think it helped you understand how much I love you." He pressed his palm into my skin firmly, running it down my back and holding me against him. He looked at me hard, his eyes waking up. "You can still be nervous with me if you want, but there's no need to be. I worship you."
I covered my face with my hands again, going back and forth between embarrassment over his confessions and searching for the embarrassment I thought I should have felt being so exposed to him. "I love you, Hasegawa-san." I said through my hands.
In the morning, the landlord of the apartment complex brought us a hyousatsu name plate that would be mounted on the outside of our door while we lived there. It was a customary practice, and allowed the residents to take pride in their home even if it was just an apartment we were renting. Our names were written in characters vertically side by side, Sugimori Natsuko and Hasegawa Akira. I stood back and watched the landlord and Aki mount the name plate, a cup of coffee in my hand, and I smiled to myself noticing that our names looked perfect side by side. Natsuko was spelled with the character for 'summer' and the character for 'child'. Akira was spelled with the character for 'autumn' and the character for 'bright'.
"It's a nice day, we should take a walk so you can decide how you want to get to the university." Aki said as he finished seeing the landlord off. He slinked up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist to hold me against his body. He took my coffee cup out of my hand and took a sip, but didn't give it back to me.
We spent the rest of the morning unpacking clothes, and putting them away in the closet and dressers. It felt strange hanging my summer dresses in the closet next to Aki's leather studded jackets, but I looked forward to the night when we would be out at the end of the warm weather, I would dress inappropriately summery and Aki would drape his jacket over my shoulders on the way home. I tried to quickly pile my underwear in a drawer in my dresser, but felt Aki's eyes everywhere.
"Don't look." I told him as I folded and organized the drawer as discreetly as I could.
He turned his back to me. "I'm not looking." He said, but turned his head to peek over his shoulder. "I'll see them all eventually."
As we walked slowly down the street from our apartment complex, some of the elderly residents of the traditional houses were tending to gardens or reading books on the front stairs. We had taken time to get changed and look presentable for just such an occasion that we would meet a new neighbour. I wore modest jean shorts and a t-shirt that was just one size too big, but it fell in a flattering way over my shoulders. I had requested to wear one of Aki's flannel button down shirts, as the summer heat was blowing over in the transition to fall. Aki wore faded grey jeans with naturally made rips in the knees and the thighs, black boots, and a black sleeveless shirt. He was a musician with every inch of himself, and made it obvious with even his casual style. Aki held my hand everywhere we went, to offer some protection to me, I thought, but it was a contact that felt more for his comfort than for mine. I just enjoyed the sense of belonging given a place next to him.
We passed one house close to the intersection of our street and the main road, a narrow traditional frontage with no yard. A woman kept a large planter beside her front door, and watered it with a watering can lovingly, turning some of the leaves to inspect them. She acknowledged us as we walked.
"Are you lost? The main street in Ueno is that way." She pointed. "If you follow it for about thirty minutes you'll be in Omotesando." She smiled and nodded a bow. It seemed as though she gave directions to wayward teenagers often who looked as though they didn't belong in such a modest area.
I returned her nod but held up a hand. "No, we live in the apartment complex at the end of the street. We just moved in yesterday." I explained. "I'm Sugimori Natsuko. This is Hasegawa Akira."
"Welcome to the neighbourhood then." She said with a smile. "Sugimori-san, Hasegawa-san, yes, I know who you are. I saw you on the news. Congratulations." She bowed to us. "My name is Toshima, but please call me Toshi. If you two need anything, please let me know."
I looked at Aki for some sign of how I should respond, but he didn't seem surprised to be recognized, even by an elderly woman. "You know who we are?"
"Your sports car coming up the street the other morning was a sight to be seen. We haven't had such excitement for a long time, way over here." She held her watering can with two hands, the delight on her face almost childish. "I admit I haven't listened to any of Guardian's music, it's a little loud for me. But I'm very excited that we have a star in our midst."
Aki laughed. "Thank you very much Toshi-san. I won't disappoint you."
Toshi turned to me. "And you, miss. I heard the song you sang, and you have the voice of an angel. You both are very lucky. I wish you much success."
We thanked Toshi again and again for her words and kindness, and we bowed back and forth for as long as we could, until we couldn't see her anymore around the corner of the intersection. "One down, how many more to go?" Aki said, referencing the inevitable meeting of the neighbours.
"Do you think everyone on the street is going to know who we are?"
He looked over his shoulder like he was being cautious of being followed. "She seems like the type to gossip and get to know everyone. She's probably lived there for fifty years. And she said 'we' a lot, which tells me she's speaking for a lot of the people on the street."
"They're all old, I don't think we have anything to worry about." I said. I paused for a beat to collect a thought that I had been dwelling on. "Aki, do you think we can pay your friend Daichi-san a visit?"
Aki looked at me, almost stopping his walk entirely. I pulled him with the hold he had on my hand, trying to remain casual. "What for?"
I tried not to smile, but I could tell he was trying not to as well, and it made it that much harder for me to try to be serious. "I've been thinking about that little tattoo, the character for 'power', since I mentioned it to you in the hotel. I'd really like to get it now."
He stopped walking, using the hold he had on my hand to stop me as well. "Are you sure?" He said. "I'll take you if you ask me to, but I don't want to be a bad influence on you. Having tattoos in this place is difficult."
I took his other hand. "I share my life with you now, and you have tattoos. It's not like I'd leave you behind to go somewhere or do something that tattooed people aren't allowed in. Whether I also had a tattoo or not." I stepped in closer to him. "Besides, it's not like I want a whole sleeve. I want it to be small, and to have it somewhere only you and I can see."