I sat quietly with Aki as he made himself up, typing on my phone a message Hina to let her know everything that would happen shortly in my life. As I recalled the events in the message, I felt as if I was simply typing a story, it was nearly too good to be true. Everything I had ever wanted for my life was coming to pass. I watched Aki as he skillfully applied black eyeshadow and liner, patting his skin here and there with pressed powder.
"Do you always do your own makeup?" I asked him, my voice inching into the comfortable silence.
His eyes flickered to me in the mirror. "No, we have a makeup artist do it for photoshoots and big stuff. But we all know how, it's how we started. From our roots." He began to comb his hair in sections, teasing and spraying it in all different directions. He took a small pot and holding it up to his hair, rubbed the tip of each small spike he created with the hairspray into it, and it came away red. "Are you nervous about being debuted?" His eyes were still on me in the mirror.
I hadn't had time to think about it, but I was unwilling to stop and contemplate a situation that was already well underway. "No." I said. "I haven't thought about it, but I'm sure I will be plenty nervous later."
He smiled knowingly, continuing to fix his hair. "The video and message will be broadcast later, so I'll make sure you're otherwise occupied until after. Then you can be nervous all you want, but it will already have happened." He got up out the chair in front of the mirror, beginning to pull off his sweater to change into his stage clothes. "The chair is all yours. If you need anything, feel free."
I sat in the chair in front of the mirror, watching into it as Aki got changed into his stage clothes behind me. I saw the transformation from start to finish, and yet the second he buttoned those glittery black jeans and clipped the silver chains in place, he became a legend. His eyes remained so transparent when he looked at me, completely open, inviting me into his world, into his secrets.
He glanced over, and caught my gaze in the mirror. His expression was surprised, and he looked down at himself, then back at me as I smiled shyly. "What?" He asked. I said nothing and shrugged.
We met the rest of the band in same room I had seen before during the photoshoot, the vast white space still clean and able to transform into anything. A few lights were set up with a camera facing a clear wall for a backdrop. Aki took my hand to lead me with him while the five of us walked together in front of the camera. We spent a minute shuffling back and forth, changing the order in which we stood, and ultimately decided to begin the message with me off camera, to be invited into the picture at my introduction. When the four were satisfied with how they stood, they looked each other over quickly for flaws, and then nodded to the cameraman to give a signal to begin.
"Hello, we are Guardian." Aki, as the frontman of the band, spoke to deliver the message. "From today, we will be relocating from Kamakura to Tokyo and accepting a major record label." They applauded themselves, looking back and forth to each other. "Thank you very much for your support, and we hope that you will continue to support and enjoy our music. Today we are releasing a video for our new song called 'Midnight with You'. This ballad was sung in collaboration with a very important person to Guardian and specifically myself, Sugimori Natsuko-san." They began to applaud again, and Aki motioned for me to join them, holding out his hand for me to take. He held it tightly as they made room for me to stand beside him.
I bowed first to Guardian, then to the camera. "Thank you so much for this opportunity to sing with you. I really hope everyone enjoys the song."
Aki continued. "Please welcome Sugimori-san into our Guardian family warmly." He bowed deeply to the camera, and paused before straightening, a deeply respectful gesture. "We will see you on stage soon, and please expect our new upcoming album." He looked to his left, then his right, as if to make sure the other band members were ready for something, then took a deep breath. They all shouted together, "We are Guardian!" I laughed from my place between them, not expecting the outburst, and I clapped my hands together to cheer them on. Aki caught my gaze, and though I saw his eyes quickly flick toward the camera, he leaned his head down to kiss me quickly.
We stood smiling at each other, and behind me I heard the cameraman yell "Cut!", but for that split second, all I could see was Aki. The kiss had been quick, but it had been clear, and it established a great deal for those who would see it. Aki gathered me into his arms, and I wrapped mine around his hips, leaning into his body, and I felt his heart racing. We received pats on the back and shoulders from each of the band members.
"Good job, Aki." Fuji said, landing a hand atop Aki's shoulder and leaving it there for a moment. "You worked hard, and you got us somewhere amazing."
"Thank you, Aki." Kota joined Fuji in his praise. "We wouldn't be here without you. And thank you, Natsuko, for being a symbol of hope in Aki's life."
Hiro placed a hand on Aki's shoulder again as well. "We are very proud of you, Aki." He said simply.
Aki exhaled heavily, so heavily that he vocalized the sigh as well. I felt one of his hands behind my head, and he leaned his head down for a moment, and then let me go. "It's going live with the video in three hours." He said. "Let's go home."
My apartment mainly consisted of stacked boxes, as we would move to Tokyo in only a few weeks. My bed remained, warm and welcoming, and Aki carried me to it, laying me atop the blankets, holding both my thighs around him as he knelt between them. "You didn't exactly say anything in the message video." I said, unsure if he was listening.
"I didn't have to." His hands worked their way under the skirt of my dress, but hesitated, looking at my face. "I'm as nervous about the release as you are."
"No, I don't think you are."
He crawled forward slightly more, sitting back on his knees, and hooked his hands under my calves, giving me a tug toward him. "You're probably right, actually." He said, leaning on his hands over me. "But either way I think we should get naked and forget about it for now."
We laughed the whole time, and I loved how we did. Sometimes, I was still nervous to be fully exposed and vulnerable with Aki, but at the same time I looked forward to the next experience with him, because I knew as nervous as I was, I so enjoyed it. With his hands on me, I felt there was no harm in the world that would come to me. There was never any wasted movement between us, Aki placing himself intentionally exactly where he needed to be. He drew my voice out of me in ways I could never use it for myself, and when I wasn't laughing with him, those sounds he caused from me filled the silence.
My phone began to chime, an alarm to signal the three hours had passed, and our videos would be released. I reached across the bed to pat Aki's shoulder, waking him from his power nap. His skin was still damp with sweat, and he had fallen asleep only five minutes prior. "It's time." I said as he rolled over with a low groan. "The videos are released."
He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and looked hard at it for a moment, then passed it to me, covering his eyes with his hand. "There are so many comments already. This is definitely going to be on local news."
I took his phone, looking at the screen that displayed his personal social media page, along with a second tab that displayed Guardian's page. Notifications were popping up like rapid fire on the screen, but I was able to see the post he had made with the announcement video. I read it to myself. "I am pleased to announce two big changes in my life today. The first is Guardian's great success thanks to your support as fans. The second is the addition of Sugimori Natsuko to my life. I am a better man because of her. Please welcome her into our Guardian family, and enjoy the song we sang together called 'Midnight With You'. Thank you."
"Is anyone mad?" Aki asked. "If there are any mean comments, block them."
I was suddenly all too aware that I was scrolling through his social media account on his phone, and felt like I was invading his privacy. I read a few comments, afraid to go too far. "No, everyone is saying congratulations about the new record label and about me. Everyone is very happy for you and for Guardian."
"Guardian fans are the best." He took a deep breath out of relief, as if he had been nervous about what the release of such big news would bring. "When do you want to sing with me again?"
I laughed with my breath, holding back my smile, and handed his phone back. "All the time." I said. "I hope once I start studying I'll be able to be as good a composer as you. Then I'll be able to write us some songs as well." I looked at him, feeling like he was watching me as the fantasy played out in my head. "Did you really like my voice?"
"You have a beautiful voice. You sang that ballad perfectly, even though you couldn't read the music for it." He wrapped an arm around me under the blanket, rolling over me. "I especially love the sound of your A note."
I reached to place my hands on both sides of his jawline as he familiarly did to me so often. "Is music just always in your head?"
"I don't control the fact that I have such power over you to extract the most perfectly in tune A note from you in times like these." He smiled, trying hard, I could tell, to take himself seriously.
"Can we relax now? The videos are released, and the news is all out there, and we know the response is positive."
He took one of my hands from his face, pressing his lips to my fingers. "Yes, I think we can. I also think we should go out and get coffee."
Guardian planned a final live concert of the summer in Kamakura for the last week of August, as a chance for fans to say their goodbyes before the band relocated in Tokyo. Homecoming would be different after the move, but Kamakura would always be home to them. It was where their roots were laid, and where they began to grow. I couldn't wait to see them perform together again on stage. I looked forward to it like it was the perfect way to end my legacy in Kamakura as well. Seeing Guardian perform four months before was the beginning of the rest of my life, and changed me forever. It was the single decision I made that altered the course of my entire existence, and as I thought about this time rounding out my experience, being able to stand at the side of the stage to watch them, I felt the colour of my blood must have been gold in that moment.
"We want to play 'Midnight With You'. It would really be a great way to end a show here, to do a live debut for Kamakura." Aki explained the layout of the concert to me, letting me know what to expect as it would be the first time I would watch a show from the side of the stage. Guardian had been spending their last days of summer at the live house practicing, and in much the same way as I taken care of them during the heat of the summer while they were hard at work recording their new album, I spent most days with them happy to be their errand girl.
"And I want you to come on stage to sing it with me." Aki continued. "It will be the last song of the show, so we're putting it in the encore. Nothing fancy, we'll be wearing Guardian t-shirts and we'll be sweaty."
My first instinct was to deny the offer immediately, but I held back, and let a picture form in my mind. Aki and I on stage together, singing the song he wrote for me, that we recorded together, that was my official debut into the world he was unfolding in front of me. "I want to." I said finally. "But I don't know if I'm good enough. To go on stage with you and Guardian in front of all your fans?" I spoke my worries freely, looking for his approval but also trying to be realistic. "Aki, I'm honoured that you have enough faith in me to even ask."
He reached for me, his fingers sliding neatly around my jawline, making me look into his eyes. "My love." He said, pausing to allow me to focus on him. "You sang that song in one take with me perfectly. Do you know how many people can do that? One person - me. You sing like an angel, and I have more faith in you to sing beside me on stage than I have in any other member of Guardian."
I reached up to place my hands on his wrists, leaning into his hold on me, looking hard at his face. "Then I would really love to sing with you."
"Am I interrupting something?" We both looked to the sound of the voice approaching. Hina was walking quickly toward us, and began to wave as we looked over. "Fuji sent me a message, he said you were all here."
Aki released me, and I slid my grip on his wrists to hold both his hands. "I was just going on a coffee run, why don't you help?"
Hina and I walked in silence most of the way to the cafe. She had been spending as much time with Guardian as I had, but it was clear her and Fuji were not as close as Aki and I, and while they obviously enjoyed each other's company, they had very little in common. We walked with our arms linked, content, enjoying a stroll without haste in the last little bit of summer.
"How are things with Fuji?" I asked her, to be polite, but also with curiosity.
Hina smiled in a distant way, as if she had to really put thought into how to answer. "It's going well, I think." She said finally. "We are taking things slowly, and it's fine."
I wasn't sure what to make her comment. I placed a hand on her shoulder, stepping in time a little closer to her. "Taking things slowly is perfectly fine." I said. "Aki and I would have also been fine taking things slowly, but we accidentally didn't."
"And that's fine too, but I admit I am a bit jealous of that connection you two have." She looked at me with a distraught expression for a moment, then looked down as we continued to walk. "I really enjoy my time with Fuji, but I think our lives are just too different. I'm not looking for a change of pace like you were, and I'm definitely not looking for the lifestyle that dating a rockstar in Tokyo would give me." She looked forward again, gaining more confidence in her voice as she told her side of the story. I knew Hina, and I knew if I got her talking, she would tell me exactly how she felt without much more encouragement. "I think for now it's fine to be causal with him, but I'm not going to give it too much more thought."
I nodded, agreeing with her sentiment. "It sounds like you've figured it out for yourself."
"I'm not going to live in Tokyo with the rest of you, I'll be left behind anyway. I can't expect much from a famous rockstar when I'm all the way out in Kamakura."
"Maybe he'll surprise you. If he makes an effort to keep in touch with you, then I would say that's a good sign."
We approached the cafe, and Hina began to look through her purse for her wallet. "You're so smart, Natsu-chan." She said. "Now I feel like it's less of a bother to have memorized his coffee order."
I laughed. "I have all their coffee orders memorized, and Aki never gets the same thing."