I actually enjoy going to college because that means I get to see Caden, it is Thursday today and on my timetable it shows I finish at two. I have English, art and design and science today…that means great first two lessons and then I am back with Mr. Colombe, wish me luck.
Art and design was slow but fun, I worked on my final piece and I have to chose a theme and I chose mental health, what you feel inside while being completely normal on the outside, I am hoping others can relate to me in a way.
I am heading to English and I keep an extra eye out for a certain brown haired boy, but nobody so far, I give up and roll my eyes and go on my phone and play a game since my phone has no Wi-Fi, then I remember a quote I heard. 'a phone without Wi-Fi is like a relationship without trust, and what do you do if you cant connect? You play games.'
I am very side tracked by that and I didn't realise that the class had gone in, as I am putting my phone away I look up and I see him, he is staring right at me like he has been for ages, he is outside what I am assuming his classroom.
Once I realise he and I are both late to class I smile a bit at him and I offer a friendly wave that is slow hoping he will return it, It takes a while and he has no emotion and I think he isn't going to do it my mood slightly goes down and I start to head into class, but when I am just about to enter, I see a hand move out of the corner of my eye and I turn my head and see him repeat the smile and the wave back and he turns and walks into class.
I head into class myself and keep thinking about the smile he gave me. I sit down at my desk next to a girl called Chloe, she is such a teachers pet but on the bright side I don't have to answer any questions because Miss know-it-all beside me can answer them without even trying.
For the remainder of the lesson we are learning about classic novels, I got given a midsummer nights dream by William Shakespeare to study for the remainder of the term. We study some of the text and I am so focused on what I am reading and writing the bell scares the crap out of me.
I always wait to be the last one out as everyone is in the halls and my anxiety sky rockets and I do just that, I wait until there is no sound coming from the halls and I leave the classroom saying goodbye to Miss gale my English teacher on the way out.
I am not even half way through the hallway and I feel a tap on my shoulder and I look over my left and nobody is there and then I see movement on my right and realise that Caden tricked me. We both laugh at how easily I fell for that.
"Hey"
"Hi" Caden replies.
We end up walking in sync and slower not wanting to stop talking, I can see he wants to say something so I don't push him and I wait until he is ready.
"what time do you finish today?"
"two, why?"
"I remembered a song that I want to show you that I think you would like, I couldn't find it on my phone and I managed to find it in that music store and I was wondering if you would like to come with me? And it will save me finding you in here tomorrow" he asks me in one breath almost expecting me to say no.
I get really excited, Caden wants to hang out with me!
"yes I would love to, what time do you finish and where should I meet you?" I am still very nervous around him so I am staring at my rings I am fiddling with rather than him.
"don't worry about when I finish, I will meet you at the front of the gate and we will head there"
"Sounds good"
We reach the canteen and we both split off looking like we have never spoken to each other. I cant help but feel a bit disappointed but I understand he isn't comfortable in my kind of normal.
It is lunch time now, and I walk up to Clara and see she is wearing dungarees whereas I am wearing a hoodie with denim jeans and jacket on. I sit opposite her and we chat and eat for the remaining of lunch.
******
I look at the clock in the classroom of science while sir teaches and I see the big hand get closer to twelve and I am almost jumping out my seat in anticipation to see Caden. The second the bell rings I am up out of my chair as if it electrocuted me.
I run out the door and walk really quick to meet him. I get to the gate without any trouble and look around, I don't see him and I feel as if he stood me up. I look back to the building and see some students out but none with a leather jacket on, which I've noticed he wears every day. I don't see him.
A voice clears behind me and I turn and see Caden leaning against a beaten up old car, it's a dark blue and its decent for teenagers our age.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you"
I laugh.
"You didn't. How long have you been waiting?"
"Not long" I sense he is lying but I let it go.
"Shall we go?"
He nods and holds the door open for me. I get in and thank him. He looks slightly out of place but he is doing really well. I'm proud of him for going out his comfort zone. I think he doesn't do this with others and that explains the fidgeting and the avoided eye contact.
As we are driving down the road his eyes are focused on the car in front and I just study him. I'm guessing he can already tell I am staring because to make the silence less awkward he turns on the music while briefly glancing at me.
It takes another five minutes to get to the store. I'm so glad we didn't take the bus. We pull into the car park beside it. The music stores building has worn out graffiti climbing the walls showing it has been here for longer than a decade.
We walk inside and Caden walks ahead of me and opens the door for me. My heart thumps in my chest and I try and make him see that I'm not affected but I have a feeling it didn't go unnoticed by the way he was looking at me.
I break eye contact and start the conversation.
"So what song did you want to show me?"
It was like he was lost in a trance for a second and I brought him back to reality. "Oh...erm" he clears his throat and looks around. " I think the song us upstairs with all the old hits. I know your kind of old school considering the songs you gave me."
Once he said the word old school I immediately talked about how my dad got me into it and that I wish I lived in the decade, he is listening and he is so interested and focusing to every little thing I say. Its nice to have someone listen to you rather than listen to them for once.
I am talking about the songs and bands that are my favourites and I realise I have been rambling for so long as he has got the CD in his hand. I look to his face to see him look at me softer than he has done before, it's a warm feeling. It helps me because it shows I am comfortable around Caden, I never talk this much unless it is my family or Clara.
I laugh and apologise for going so overboard. "don't apologise, its cute" then he says something under his breathe which I am glad I caught "just like you" when he says that I feel like fainting.
******
We are now out of the store and driving to pick Brody up. After we finished at the store I asked him if he would want to get him, he looked very eager to still hang out but a little nervous about meeting someone new. In reassured him that my brother would love him, as much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes think that brody wishes he had an older brother to play with, he needs someone like a father or a brother figure in his life. If all goes well and Caden likes spending time with me maybe he could be what Brody needs but I understand if it is too much for him.
I look down at the CD and I am brought back to the store, once we came back downstairs I offered to pay for the CD but Caden wouldn't allow it, he said and I quote 'I invited you so I am paying, no excuses' when he saw I was about to argue with why I should buy it.
We slowly approach the school and I get out and notice that Caden is stalling in the car. "do you want to wait here or come with me, we sometimes go to the park if you would like to join us?"
He looks at me, and looks, and looks some more. God his eyes are so dreamy the perfect shade of green, I see his lips move and that's when I realise he said something.
"huh?"
He cracks a smile. "I said I would love to join you, I just don't want to intrude" I look at him stunned, "if anything I am intruding your time by asking you to hang out with us when you could be at home with your family"
The second I said the word family it was like the atmosphere had shifted, did I say something wrong?
"sorry I didn't mean to say anything to upset-"
"You didn't" he cut me off without looking at me, I take it as my que to leave and I'm guessing he is going to drive off.
I make it halfway up to the school and I hear a car door slam and footsteps getting faster and closer, I turn and see him running to me and smiles.
This guy is so confusing! One minute guarded the next sweet and smiley.
I let it go but I am still not letting go of the fact I know he is hiding something. I don't push the matter.
We stand outside the school and wait until I see Brody. He runs up to me into my arms and I bend down to his height only slightly, I bet by the time he is twelve or thirteen he will overtake me, our dad is fairly tall.
Once he is done hugging me he looks to his left and my right at Caden. Caden looks so much like a lost puppy I can't help but be in awe.
"who is that?" he points very obviously at Caden, not really being friendly.
"this is my friend Caden"
"nice to meet you Brody" Caden extends his arm and Brody just stares at it. Instead he comes back to me and holds me at my waist "my sister. You cant have her" he sounds incredibly territorial.
I look at him in shock, he isn't used to sharing and he is scared of losing me, its sweet but Caden looks threatened.
I just laugh and continue talking. "ok buddy what do you say we go to the park?"
"Yes!" he yells and jumps around.
"Caden is coming too" I add. Brody completely comes to a stop and loses all happy emotion.
Wow he must really appreciate sibling time.
"okay let's go" we all walk together and then Brody sees a dog when we get to the park and he runs up to it giving it a pat on the head.
"I take it your brother hates me" I laugh at Caden's conclusion.
"no, he just doesn't take it well when there are new people he has never met"
"that makes two of us" he looks at Brody from where we are slowly walking, he is staring at a group of older boys around the ages of twelve to fourteen kicking a ball, because I am a girl I am not the best at playing but I've been told I am not the worst.
"ill be right back" I see Caden walking away and I wonder what he is doing.
In the meantime I just watch Brody stare at the boys, I know he is wishing he could join in and play. I wish I could play with him but with my track record I will last less than five minutes and fall on my face.
Somebody comes and stands beside me and I already know its Caden but he is holding something fairly big, I look to what is in his hands and I just stare at it and I smile so wide.
"Where did you get that football?"
"There is a sport store just down the road, I forgot it was there until I remembered I went there when I was younger, I saw the way Brody looked desperate to play, I know its weird but in a way he is just like me when I was his age" he looks at a Brody and he smiles sadly.
He then gives me one last look and heads over to Brody and they play football together and I haven't seen Brody laugh and smile this much with someone who isn't me.
It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I hope that this happens more often, they both look at me from where I am standing and smile and the afternoon continues with smiles and fun, I never wanted it to end.ý