What if I were ready to sacrifice everything to tell him how much I care for him and how much I want him to be in my life? What if I were to commit the crime of force and kiss him right now? My heart was beating so fast; my body was buzzing. I felt high with these nerves in the pit of my stomach. I know before I got here, I was fine with the idea of not having him in my life, but now I don't feel the same way, even if he is staring daggers at me.
He walks over to the door and holds it wide open, "Get the fuck out," he pronounces acidly.
"I know you don't want me here." I shake my head. "But I need to apologize to you–"
"NO!" He shouts expressions hurt but more angry, grey eyes shaking as he watches me. "You don't come and go as you please," Jace says, voice too dissociated with me to even tell what he's feeling. He absolutely hates me.
My throat starts swelling up. I want to cry, but I force my stubborn tears back. I walk over to Jace and hand him the jackets.
"Keep them," he says as if they're tainted by my touch.
I look up at his him, to eyes, pleading. "I– I can't let you go if you don't take them," I manage to say.
We stare at each other for a while before he says, "I don't know why I was fighting for nobody like you. You are not a spectacle; and you're no longer important to me, Lucy. Throw the jackets away, and sell them. I don't care. Just leave."
His words shatter my entire existence. I deserved every line. I look down at my shoes; he really didn't cut me a break, not even on my birthday.
"I knew those words would hurt you. My mother is back in town, and I wanted to push you away because all the hurt she caused me came rushing back when I heard Max was with her. There are no amount of sincere apologies I could give you for how regretful I feel," I looked up at him.
"Jace," I tell him with an ounce of remorse I have.
I drop the jackets and wrap my arms around him and kiss him. Standing on the very tips of my toes. He arches over and kisses me back. He kissed me as if he was stranded and hung dry in the desert, and I was the water he desperately thirsted for, just like I did for him.
But alas I knew doing that would not be the outcome, he'd only push me away, so I just dropped the jackets at his feet and left.
"Jace, who was at the door?" A girl says; when I turn back, I see it's Mirae. Of course. I shouldn't pursue someone that already has a person in their life. Mirae gives me a smug look in Jace's oversized t-shirt.
I give Jace one look. "Goodbye, Jace."
His eyes watch mine; he is too far out of reach as if we were two bodies floating away in space, never to meet again.
I swallow and turn away, making sure he doesn't see me cry. I ran back home, feeling humiliated. My eyes widen in horror when I open my door, and I see it's my mother. I quickly wipe away my tears.
"Honey, what's wrong?" She asks.
"What is she doing here?" I look over to Max. "Where's Emily and Dad? Do they know she's here?"
"Lucy, she just wanted to see you. Maybe if you just listen to her," Max tells me.
"Max, don't you get how your talking to her messed everything up!" I yell at him.
"Don't talk to your brother like that," she interjects.
"No!" I snap and walk closer to her, "You don't get to parent me. When I practically raised myself and raised Max. You gamble away any money you get. I had to work for Aunty Crystal after school at her bakery when I was in middle school, and you have some audacity to show your face here after what you accused me of!" I scream at her, pouring out all my hurt.
The door opens behind me, and it's Emily and my dad.
"What's all this shouting?" My dad asks concerned as he walks in, and he sees her. "Miranda?" He looks at her.