You slouched in your chair. Just yesterday you and Eddie were swapped places. You sat in front of a large man, who knows what his name is. "Why did you punch him?" he asks. "He called me a slut." you say, "may I speak to a female about this?" He rolls his eyes. "Fine," he gets up angrily. One of the school counselors, Victoria Heart, walks in a few moments later. "I never see you in the office." She smiles as she sits down. She could tell something else was bothering you. "Are you okay, Ellie?" she asks. "This morning, I went on a walk." you begin to tell her the story. She ended up bringing you tissues. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I would do the same exact thing." You smiles and laughed as you wiped your tears. "Have you told your boyfriend yet?" she asks. "How did you know I had a boyfriend?" you asked, shocked. "Well, he's the one with curly hair who has been staring in this room for the past hour, is he not?" she chuckles. "Yup," you laughed. "Eddie Munson," she says as if it was fun to roll off her tongue, "how's he treating you?" "He's the sweetest person I've met." you smile. "Really?" "Yeah, he treats me like I'm the only person in the world." "His grades are going up, I assume that's you?" she asks. "I'm helping him, although he never wants to." you laugh. You remembered what you found on the cliff. "I found something," you start pulling it out of your jacket pocket. She unfolds it and reads it. "Oh my god!" she shouts, "Tiana, I knew her." A tear flew down her cheek. "Don't worry," she says, "you will get revenge."
How many court dates do you need? Eddie was sent back to class until further notice, and you traveled to the police station. "Jeez," the office who helped you with your mom's case said, "you are just bad luck." He chuckles to himself. "Rape cases take months, or even years to be acknowledged," another officer said, "we will take any DNA samples we can get." You knew what he meant.
An hour or two later, you were free to go. You were tired, and definitely not going back to school. You walked back home. It wasn't too far away, but you ran because you were scared of being alone for too long. When you got back, you decided you wanted to go to Eddie's house instead. Wayne wouldn't be home for several hours. You collapsed on Eddie's bed. School would be let out in maybe an hour. You cried into his bed. His scent made you feel better. You have been awake for more than 24 hours. You closed your eyes. Just once.
. . . . . . .
You were engulfed in Eddie's arms. He was rubbing your back. He noticed you woke up. "You can go back to sleep," he said with a very soft tone. "Thank you, Eddie. I love you." You whisper. He kissed your neck, "I love you, too." You couldn't fall asleep again after that. Your stomach grumbled loudly. "You hungry?" he asked, "I owe you lunch." "No," you say coldly, "it's fine." "It's not fine," he whispers in your ear, "I'm not eating until you are." You took a deep breath. You heard the phone ring. "I'll get it," Eddie gets up. He waddles out of his room and picks up the phone. "Hey," he says, "yeah? Ellie it's for you!" You get out of Eddie's bed and take the phone from him. "Hey," Robin says. "Hey, Robin!" you say excited. "Me and Steve are headed to the mall, we were wondering if you and Eddie wanted to come." "Sure!" you say, "I'll ask Eddie." You turn to him, "you free to go to the mall?" He sighs, "I have DnD tonight." "Oh," you say, "that's okay..." "I assume Robin and Steve will take good care of you?" he says with his arms around your waist as he kisses your neck. "I'm sure they will," you giggle. You pick up the phone. "I'm free, but Eddie can't," Steve sounded disappointed on the other end. "That's fine," she said, "we will be over in 15 minutes." You smiled. You hung up. You spun around to face Eddie. You were so close to him. He smelled like smoke and cologne. You jump up and wrap your arms around him. He picks you up, and you kiss him. Eddie brings you back to his room and jumps on the bed. You giggle as he leans over you. "You're so cute," Eddie smiles. You grab the back of his head to pull him in. Eddie was very warm, like your personal heating pad. Your face was flaming red and hot. "Blushing still are we?" Eddie pulls away. "Shut up!" you shout. "It's okay," he laughs, "you're cute when your mad...and blushing." You were really, really hungry. He noticed a slight change on your facial expression, almost like pain. "You okay?" he asked, instantly changing his expression. "Yeah," you say softly. "Ellie please, talk to me," he's begging now. "I don't know how to tell you," you say. And it wasn't far from the truth. You didn't know how to tell him, but you were scared of what he would say. "What does that even mean?!?" he says, sitting up a little bit so he wasn't on top of you. You sighed, "time, Eddie. I need time." You sat up. All of the sudden, your head felt very foggy. You tried your best to ignore the feeling. Eddie looked down, "am I doing a good job?" He asks in a tone that almost sounds like a child. "Of course you are, what do you mean?" you ask. "Well, the only thing I can do is ask you if you're okay. Then, you give me some bullshit answer. I don't want to invade your privacy and look through your shit, but I don't know what to do." You were quiet for a moment, "you're doing fine, Eddie. I'm fine." "You're not fine!" he yells, "don't act like you're fine! I know you're not! I don't think I've seen you eat in the past four days!" Silence webbed between you and Eddie. You both could practically hear each other's thoughts as they collided in the spiderweb. Eddie's tone lowered, "when was the last time you ate?" He sounded like me was going to cry. His voice cracked. You were about to start counting on your fingers. It was 8 days. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He was getting angry. "How many days!" he almost yelled, but didn't want to scare you. You didn't respond, shocked. "Ellie!" he yelled this time. "Eight!" he stopped breathing. "Eight?" he almost didn't believe you. You really wanted to cry, but your eyes were dry and hurt. "Ellie, please," his begging almost made you give in, "eat something, anything." You hated making him cry. "They will be here soon," you stand up, getting a little dizzy as you do it, "I need to get ready." You start packing a few of your things in your bag. Eddie just sat there. "I will call you later?" you ask. He doesn't say anything for a second, "okay." The doorbell rings, "bye, Eddie." You say, he was still sulking on his bed. You run outside, and Steve was in the drivers seat. Robin was in the back, waiting for you. "We assumed you were at Eddie's." she giggled. You smiled, trying to forget what just happened.
The ride mainly consisted of Robin making fun of Steve. For some reason, Steve wouldn't directly talk to you. It was weird. "I want to get pretzels!" Robin shouts. "Yum," Steve adds. "What about you?" Robin asks, turning to you. You pause for a moment, "I'm okay." She looks at Steve, "Ellie?" You look to her. "Why haven't you been eating?" You sigh, "I'm not hungry." "Well, you haven't eaten in a week!" Steve adds. "I said, I'm not hungry!" Robin looks at Steve. Steve looks genuinely worried. "Ellie..." she says. You look up slightly, but don't hold eye contact. She grabs your chin and makes you look at her. "Ellie, please, are you okay?" You don't say anything. "Have you told Eddie yet?" she asks, loosening her grip from your chin. "No," you sigh. "You need to," she pleads. "I'm just scared," you say rubbing your hands together nervously. Robin sighed. Steve pulled in to the parking lot. "What can I do to get you to eat something?" Robin asks. You thought for a moment. "Hmm, take me on a clothes shopping spree!" It was a good bargain. "Deal." she smirked getting out of the car. "You're paying," you laughed. "Okay, but don't run me dry." she smiles as she holds your hand. You, Robin, and Steve walk into the mall. You forgot how big the mall feels from the inside. You go shopping first. Robin takes you to the store that everyone shops at, but you really just couldn't find anything. "I have and idea," she pulls your arm and takes you to another store, "this is where I shop." Let's just say, it was the jackpot. There were the cutest jeans and tops and flannel. All of the sudden you had a craze for a different type of clothing. "Wow, Ellie. You have good style." Robin giggles. "Learned it from the best," you say while putting the clothes on the counter. Robin threw the bags at Steve. "I'm not-" he was cut off. "Shh," she put her finger over his lips. You began feeling dizzy and lightheaded again. "Hey," you say to them, "I'm going to sit down." They shrugged it off and walked around the area you sat at. You had a massive headache. You held your head with your hands.
A few minutes later, Robin skips over to you. "You okay?" You nod, "just a massive headache." "We can get some medicine," she pats your thigh. "Are we almost done?" Steve asks, holding several bags. "Almost," Robin jumps up, grabbing your hand, "we need pretzels!" Steve sighs as you all walk over to the pretzel stand. "You can share with me," Robin says as you stand in line. You smile. The pretzels smelled really good. Robin held your hand as you waited. Steve just stood there. Something was off with him. With him and Nancy. Robin grabbed her pretzel and handed Steve his. You all sat down at a small table. "Yum!" Steve licked his lips. Robin started pulling it apart. "Go on, take some," she pushes a piece towards you. You slowly picked it up. Your mouth was watering. Your stomach was begging you not to. Robin and Steve stared at you. You stared at the food. "You got this," Robin whispered. You took a bite. Robin smiles as she squeezes your hand in excitement. You slowly chew the bite. You almost forget what it feels like to taste something so good. You swallow. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Robin is smiling. "Thank you," it almost looks like she's tearing up. Your stomach is being loud again. You weren't sure if it was happy or angry. "How are you and Eddie doing?" Steve asks. "What kind of question is that?" you giggle. "Well, I just want to know!" he puts his hands up. "We are doing fine," you pick at the pretzel for a moment, momentarily eating salt, "he keeps getting mad at me." Robin looks to you, "Why?" You shrug, "it's my fault. It's just the stupid shit I do." "Like?" Steve asks. "I hurt myself. I'm starving myself. Shit! I tried to kill myself...I don't blame him. I just can't...I can't live." "That's stupid," Robin spats. "I mean, I can't be happy. I don't want to be here. The only thing I care about anymore is Eddie, and there hardly was anything before that. Everyone else is shifty and untrustworthy. Eddie is worried for me, and I'm only making everything worse." you tried not to cry. Robin rubbed your back. "Here," she picks up another piece of pretzel. You push it away, "I'm fine." Robin swallowed hard. "Okay," she said softly before eating it.
You walked around the mall for another fifteen minutes until Robin came up with an idea. "I know what you need!" she shouts. "Hm?" "You need to loosen your nerves, we should go to a party!" she smiles. It's a cute smile, like Eddie's. "Okay," you smile. "We can stop at my place, and you can change into your new clothes!" Robin shouts. "Sweet, can I invite Eddie, too?" you ask, like you need permission. "Duh!" she starts pulling you out of the mall. You like when Robin gets excited over the simplest things. You help Steve put the bags in the car. You slide in the backseat. You lay your head on Robin's lap. She stokes your hair while staring at you. "I'm proud of you, Ellie," she whispers, just loud enough that you could hear it. Robin makes you feel so safe. Like you could be held in her arms forever and never be harmed. It's a feeling you've never felt. If you had, it was not frequently. It wasn't a feeling of affection towards her, like Eddie. It was from her. You couldn't understand why.
But, the more and more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Robin was like a mother figure to you.
"Alright," Steve turned off the car, "we're here." Robin's house wasn't massive. Not like you expected it to. You don't really have a genuine house, so you can't be judging. Robin opens the door. "I'll stay out here," Steve says leaning against his car. Robin shrugs as you walk inside. The place was (for the most part) clean. Robin looked worried that her parents were not there. "Mom?" she opens the bedroom door and sees her dead asleep. Robin closes the door, "my parents are like Eddie Munson before you came around." She giggled at her own joke. She walks over to a separate room and opens the door. "This is my room." It was pretty clean, which was a surprise to you. It was cute, but not in a girly way. In fact, it was more tomboy than you could imagine. Robin hands you the bag of clothes, "the bathroom is over there. I want a fashion show!" You smiled and headed towards the door she pointed to. You locked the door and take off your shirt. You really didn't want to look at yourself in the mirror. You put on your first outfit and walked into Robin's room. Robin was laying on her bed reading a magazine. She put the magazine down when she saw you. "That's so pretty on you!" You covered your arms since it was a short sleeved shirt. "I don't think it's party material though." you giggle.
Four outfits later you walk into Robin's room. "That's the one!" she shouts. "I know, right!" you say back. You take off the tags and grab the rest of the bags. "I'll call Eddie," you say, "he should be back by now." Robin points to her phone and walks out of the trailer. You call Eddie, it rings for a moment, then you hear his voice. "Hello?" he says, he sounds tired. "Hey, it's me," he could tell who it was by your voice. "Hey sweetheart," you smiled. "So we went to the mall and bought some clothes, but we are going to a party. Do you want to come?" He pauses for a minute, "sure. I'd love to." You smile, "okay, meet you there." You tell him the address and hang up. As you walk out of the front door, you see Robin and Steve play fighting. Robin stops when she sees you. "Is he coming?" You open the car door, "yep!"
When you arrive at the party, you couldn't even count the number of cars outside. It was dark outside and you could see the moon almost to the top of the sky. It was very loud. It made you uncomfortable. You all wait for Eddie to show up. It was obvious when he did because his car is loud as fuck. He parks his van. You walk over to him. He gets out and hugs you. He gives you a quick kiss. "Hey sweetheart," he says looking down at you. "Hey," you smile. The sky was littered with stars. Robin and Steve were gawking. You pulled away from him. "I have something to tell you, Eddie," Robin says, moving closer to the both of you. You move away so she could whisper in his ear. "Really?" Eddie says holding your hand. Robin nods. "I'm so proud of you," he squeezes your hand slightly. You knew what they were talking about. You ate. Eddie hugs you again. "Why is it such a big deal?" you laugh nervously. "Because you wouldn't do
it for 8 days!" he shouts. Eddie kisses you again. You laugh into the kiss. "Eddie," you laugh. "What?" he kisses all over your face. "Can we go in?" "Fine," he smirks, "you're boring." You pull Eddie inside. You didn't drink anything.
You were talking to your friends. (Who were mostly the 'demogang'.) One of Eddie's hands were on your hip, and the other was holding his drink. "Shit, Ellie," you hear a familiar voice behind you, "you look hot." You turn around and saw Jason. Fuck. You knew he didn't mean it. He just said it to piss of Eddie, and it worked. "You need something man?!" Eddie shouted stepping in front of you in a protective way. He could tell you felt uncomfortable around him. You could tell Eddie was trying so hard not to just slap him. "Actually, I do," Jason says stepping in your direction. All of his jock friends behind him. "Why is she dating you? Ellie, you can do so much better than the freak." he laughed with his friends. "Jason, let it go," you called to him. "I mean look at you- you look gorgeous. You look even better without clo-" Eddie's punch cut him off. He pretended to fall back as he just came up with a stronger punch on Eddie's nose, that made him fall backwards. "Eddie!" you shout kneeled next to him, "shit, are you okay?" You looked carefully at his bloody nose. He didn't even notice you, his eyes were set on Jason. "Awe, the freak needs his little freak girlfriend's help." He laughed as he turned to walk away, but that completely set Eddie off. Only seconds later Eddie was all over Jason, dropping him onto the floor and hitting him as hard as he possibly could. It was all a blurry mess. You started getting dizzy again, your headache growing. "Eddie stop!" you shouted, he didn't listen. You felt like you were going insane. You head was pounding as you slowly lost consciousness. Only then, did Eddie stop. You dropped to the floor.
. . . . . . . . .
"Fuck!" you heard lots of shouting. "Ellie?" the voice sounded more familiar. "Hey man!" Robin shouted, "that's not cool. You don't need to tell the world what you did. You should be ashamed!" You could tell she was talking to Jason. You slowly opened your eyes. Everything was blurry. Eddie was hovering over you with a panicked expression. There was blood all over his face and hands. "Ellie," he rubbed his hand on your cheek, "are you okay?" You wanted to cry. You slowly sat up. "Y-yeah," you could hardly speak. You were so shocked. "How long was I out?" you ask, holding your head. "Not too long, maybe a minute," he rubbed your hand. "Sorry," you started standing up. "Whoa, whoa whoa," he says pushing you down, "take it easy." "Eddie, I'm fine," you insist. "How much have you had to drink?" he asks, trying to come up with a reasonable answer to your fainting. "She hasn't touched a drop," Robin adds. Eddie looks to you confused. It was because you didn't have enough food for your body to stabilize itself. "Come on," he picks you up bridal style and walks into the bathroom. He shuts and locks the door. He kisses you softly as he sets you down on the counter. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine, Eddie," you giggled, "your the one that is covered in blood." You damp the end of the hand towel. You wipe the blood on his face. Eddie laughs. "Does it hurt?" you ask. It was obvious that Eddie didn't care about the blood. He pushed the towel away from his face. "Seriously, what's wrong?" His eyes watered slightly. "I'm fine, I just, may not have had enough...energy." Eddie understood immediately. "This is what happens when you don't eat!" he shouts. "I'm sorry! I did!" Eddie looks down. "I'm sorry," he let a tear fall, "I know, you're trying. I shouldn't put this on you." "I'm FINE, Eddie." you shout. You hop off the counter and leave the bathroom, leaving Eddie speechless.
"Well, well, well," a familiar voice behind you shouts. Fucking Jason. "You have some nerve talking to me, Jason," you begin walking out of the house. You open the door and he grabs your hand, "get the fuck away from me." You pull your hand away. He is covered in blood. "Every time you talk to me, I think to myself, who the fuck does this girl think she is?" You speed walk out of the door. "Do you not know what go away means?" you shout, not daring to look at him. "You are so fucking boring!" He turns you around to face him. "Well I'm more exciting than you," you roll your eyes. "Hey, I'm going to tell you because no one else will," he looked you dead in the eyes. "Don't let him get to you. Don't let him get to you. Don't let him get to you. Don't let him get to you." you repeat in your head. "Any guy that says he's into you, beyond just fucking you," you held your breath, you knew what he's going to say, "is full of shit." "Good for me," you pull away from his grip. You rush to Eddie's van. Jason didn't even bother anymore. You debated on wether you should stay and wait for him, or just go home. The thought of Jason coming back was enough for you to decide. You slowly started walking home.
It was quite chilly for a mid-April night. You held your jacket tightly around your arms. Your tears froze your face, at least it felt like they did. You passed by a bridge. You felt pulled. Like the needle of a compass to north. Like gravity. You stepped on the edge wall. It was pretty high up. You felt more like gravity. What would gravity do if you pushed yourself a little too far forward. Your breathing slows. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump.
"Do you want to kill yourself?" you heard a voice behind you. You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn't hear Eddie's obnoxiously loud van pull up behind you. You jumped instantly startled. Eddie ran over to you as you caught your balance. He stopped. Looking in disbelief. Like you were betraying him. Why would he ask such a question? No one asks stupid questions like that. He already knew the answer anyways. "I-I don't want you to do that," Eddie says, "I can't let you do that, Ellie." His face was between angry and deep sadness. "You can't...leave me here." His voice is breaking, which is uncommon for Eddie. His face is melting, and it hurts to see. "You need to be here!" he raises his hands to cover his face. "I'm sorry," you say, starting to break down, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You could say it a hundred more times. You step away from the edge, jumping off of it. You hope he understands. You step close to him. Then, it all made sense. Every moment leading up to this. Every thing Eddie did for you. How has it taken this long to understand? He needed you as much as you need him. There are tears running down his cheeks. Eddie couldn't come up with anything to say. He trembled. He outstretched his hand as it shook. You caused this. You caused so much pain on so many people. You grab his hand. "There's nothing I can say to make you stay." He looked down. "Because no matter what I do, you will always hate a part of you...I love you so fucking much! Every part!" his voice shook. Your breath caught in the back of your throat. "Why won't you just..." but he can't finish the sentence. His sobs cover the end of his sentence. You hug him tightly. "I'll do it," you choke into his chest. "Do what?" he asks attempting to pull apart from the hug. You hold tight. "I'll get better. I'll eat." you cry. Eddie's breathing slows. "You need to be honest with me then," he says pulling apart successfully this time. "Jason," you look into his deep brown eyes, "h-he raped me." Eddie stopped breathing.
"WHAT?!" he stepped back, attempting to gather himself, "you better be fucking joking!" You bit your lip. "No. I wish." He was going to break something. "No wonder you're fucking suicidal!" "Eddie, don't-" you were cut off. "NO!" he was out of control, rabid, "that's not fucking okay!" He calmed himself a little bit. "When?" What day even is it? "This morning," you gulp. "Fuck!" he shouted, with his hands on his head. "I'm so sorry, Ellie. Did he hurt you?" You didn't want to answer. "Yeah," you stood there awkwardly, your hands draping at your sides. You just wanted to fall to the floor. Eddie runs to you as you collapse. "Eddie," you cry, "oh my god, I'm so sorry." "Don't say that, you're forbidden," he chokes, "I'm going to fucking kill him!" "Don't," you say, confusing him, "I have a case on him at the sheriffs office. I can't let you kill him." "Okay," he says, "can I take you home?" "Can I stay over at yours?" you ask. Please say yes. "Of course," he pulls your head into his chest. You are sitting on Eddie's lap, crying until you almost throw up.
Eddie drives back to the trailer, which wasn't that far. Eddie takes you to his bedroom. He changes you into his hellfire shirt. It smelled like him. You and Eddie laid in his bed. "It's okay," is all he says. Your legs are intertwined with his.
"I think things will get easier," you think. You weren't wrong, but you definitely weren't right either.