CHAPTER 6 ♕
We walked in silence. Just the three of us, with only the company of fresh air and the strong smell of rain between us. The only way to appreciate the beauty of Bridge Valley is to walk the streets and catch the glimpse of the calming morning breeze while basking in the serenity around you. My Mother wakes us up in the early hours of the morning to take walks, though I would like to think it's because she knows how I hate waking up early just to take a walk. I consider this my punishment. Nevertheless, I love the fresh breeze that brushes my face as we crossed the bridge which the town was named in honor of the late heroic chairman, who saved the town from flooding by building the bridge. The bridge was old but surprisingly sturdy, green leaves were wrapped around the railing, while brown water ran underneath. It was a thirty minutes walk from our house. The road leads to the park situated at the far end of our house, past the not-so-busy streets, kiosks, hospitals, law firms, and supermarkets. Nothing was hard to find in Bridge Valley, which makes it less interesting to me.
Nevertheless, the peaceful atmosphere cannot be traded for anything. It's moments like this that remind me how exhilarating it is when just the three of us take walks. I felt refreshed every time. As the soft glow of the sun hits my skin, I blocked it out with my forearm. It's been a while since I felt the sun on my skin-well, partly because of my laziness. I could hear the noise and soft laughter coming from the kiosks and small business centers. Soft music resonated everywhere in the neighborhood. I wondered what could cause such exhilaration in the morning. Maybe from the tasty food they were having or because of the people they were with at that moment or something entirely different. We walked closer to the huge oak tree with a wooden bench facing the main road in front of the not-so-busy street, rays of sun piercing between the branches and leaves, everything looked serene.
"Let's sit for a minute," my Mother murmured as she sat on the old but sturdy bench. We followed suit. We watched in silence as the sun started to peek out from its hiding place behind the foggy morning clouds.
"Have you decided which university you'll attend ?" My Mother asked conversationally. I groaned inwardly. This is a question I wished I had a way to avoid. While Gina and Joe knew what they wanted about their future I had no clue as to mine. Joe knew that he wanted to become an engineer ever since he restored his wrecked bike to life. Gina was sure that teaching was her calling. Even Emily knew she wanted to study account, which immediately made my Mother smile the first time Emily said it. Though I knew that being a chef would be a better fit. The girl could make anything out of a potato and groundnut, but she's clueless as to what she's fit for. However, she has refused to acknowledge this truth. Me? My future was quite bleak. I didn't see it in anything, I haven't figured out what I wanted to do with my life, and it never bothered me.
"My mother on the other hand is the direct opposite of me, even though she never plainly admitted it. She would look pained every time she would ask me about the university and I would shrug and say I haven't decided yet.
"I haven't decided yet," I gave the usual answer. She sighed and lifted her gaze to the large tree, as if in need of some divine help.
"Well, I hope you do because time won't wait for you to make up your mind."
"I'm making plans towards it," I shrugged
"Tell me, aren't you excited at the thought of starting a new phase of your life? Like venturing into the real world?" I stared at her, contemplating whether or not I should tell her how fickle my feelings become from time to time or how shallow my thoughts and desires were. When I think I've made up my mind about a certain decision, where what I feel isn't what I want to do sometimes.
Most times she would say 'be honest and speak freely,' but in the end, her actions don't correspond with what she says.
"I'm aware you're very principled-which is good.
"I'm not sure if I am," I murmured. And she threw me a warning glare.
"But..." she stressed, "I'm really worried that someday I might not be here to help you. I worry that someday you'll transition through life and I won't be there," she sighed." Life is not all black and white..."
"Maa, we need to get to school, this long conversation won't do any good for Donna, she's as fickle as any teenager I know," Emily spoke. Her gaze was directed at the now busy road in front of us. She looked bored as always.
Our Mother glared, "Emily what is wrong with you, we're in a middle of a conversation."
"Sorry Maa," but typical Emily. She looked as unapologetic as ever. Having a long conversation on the one thing I avoided talking about was worst; because the more decisions and plans I tried to make for my future, the more anxious become. I had professions, I had chosen since I started school, but none made me feel fulfilled. In the end, I decided that everything would work itself out.
Notwithstanding, these words kept nagging at the back of my mind, "A future fully planned is void of regrets."
"Let's do as Emily said," she gave in with a heavy sigh. "Emily's morning attitude might compel her to leave without us." Emily strode ahead of us with fast long strides. "It's Millie's turn to do the dishes," I stated with a straight face as we approached our house.
"What do you mean 'its Millie's turn?' I'm not washing any dishes today," she breezed past into the house. Our mother silently followed.
"Yes, you will because I'm the oldest. So you'll do as I say," I continued.
"I will not," she stated adamantly.
"Yes you will," our Mother finally intervened with a glare directed at Emily.
"Yes, I will..." she gave in with a groan and I chuckled triumphantly. She went straight to the kitchen making her point of disapproval by making noises with the plates in the sink.
"Have you ever bought a plate in this house?" Our Mother hollered from her room.
♡´・ᴗ・`♡♡´・ᴗ・`♡
I watched in awe as she caresses his cheeks like she would a five-year-old, whereas he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.
"I don't understand why she still shows so much affection to a nineteen-year-old as she would a five-year-old," I shook my head, mildly disgusted at the public display of affection.
"Hey. Miss Vanni. I've been saying words, have you been listening to me?" Gina scorned. We were standing in front of the school gates. Prefects were asking latecomers to kneel and raise their hands above their heads as they received the strokes of the cane. As it was almost time to close the school gates, I was placed on gate duty as the Assistant Head Girl. It Looks like Joe's going to be locked out if he doesn't escape his Mother's clutches of unusual display of affection. I ignored Gina's sulking and watched as Mrs. Ezra fussed over her son. She turned from a strict unaffectionate, African mother, to an overtly affectionate protective mother. She has no regard for anyone but herself, sometimes it extends to her children, especially her son Joe, but mostly herself. Even though Joe doesn't say much about it, part of me believes her feelings of love towards her children intensified after Margret died. Margret was Joe's older sister and she was our Head Girl. She was popular, though restricted to going nowhere. Reputation was everything to their Mother, therefore, anything disgraceful was not to be tolerated. Nevertheless, she was full of life. Joe adored her and looked up to his sister, he tagged along everywhere she went. However, this time she decided to attend the graduation gathering of the S.S. 3 that her Mother thought was for the low-class society people. Then the accident happened as they drove back home, Margret died at the spot while Joe sustained injuries. He was devastated, but I think he's okay now. His Mother transferred all the love and maybe, regrets to Joe and Judith. After everything, it's safe to say that Joe was now a mama's boy. On the surface he hated it, but I've witnessed how he secretly enjoyed the attention he draws from his Mother. He strode towards us with his school bag hanging off his arm as he half ran and half walked.
"Donna!" I was jerked back from my reverie to reality.
Gina sighed, "I asked if you've finally calmed down enough to talk."
"Yes."
"Good." she started to speak.
"But not now," I added. She blinked rapidly, at my abrupt response.
"Why not now?" She frowned.
"Are you girls talking about me?" Joe suddenly appeared.
Gina huffed out a sigh, "Not everything is about you Joe," She tagged right behind me.
A grin suddenly surfaced on his face. His solemn mood seemed to have lifted. I started toward the gates without a word.
"What did the 'ice queen' do to you Gina, surely she didn't infect you with her morning sulkiness, did she?" he teased as we entered the gates straight into the hallway. Gina was simmering in anger beside me, but I was determined to be petty.
Suddenly, students trooped out of their classes towards the auditorium. I turned to find Gina and Joe, but it seemed they were lost in the crowd, I bet they were too curious to stay back. However, I was uninterested in whatever was going on, so I just went straight to class, dropped my bag on the floor, and slumped onto the bench. I wish I had a phone like Joe and Alice do, so I could browse through- as I saw other students do. However, phones were a no-go area for my Mother. She saw it as a formula for distraction to her Children. And Emily wasn't that interested in phones or anything else either, so my chances were low. Instead, she bought a desktop with parental guidance set on it. Now I wish I wasn't in such a bad place with Gina. She would've been here with me even if she would want to be somewhere fun and interesting. I sighed heavily. Here I was, left alone with my thoughts. I groaned at the sight of Alice. She peeped into the class, in search of students that refused to go to the auditorium. She was the Head girl in our school, so her ego was twice her size. She looked everywhere but at me. Her uniform was impeccably immaculate. For a moment I was compelled to check if mine was ironed as hers was. That's how she makes me feel, insecure.
"What are you doing sitting here all alone the loner that you are," she said in a bored tone. I closed my eyes in frustration, praying that I practice restraint.
"Where's your leech of a friend and the other who's madly in love with you," she said with disdain.
I sighed, "I thought you were smart, but now I know better," I retorted.
"I could say the same about you," she scoffed." Please don't tell me you have never noticed." She breathes out a laugh.
I shrugged, "maybe I love the attention."
"Typical," she gritted out. "Anyways, what are you doing sitting here all alone?"
"How is that your business," I said with a false smile.
"You're the assistant Head Girl, you should be out there helping me with the students."
"Maybe prefer being left alone," I mumbled as I stared out the window.
"What?"
"I said I was coming," I roared.
"Fine," she snapped. I sighed, frustrated.
I came out of the classroom two minutes later and made for the auditorium. As I approached the auditorium, everywhere was quiet unlike typical students, but I continued toward the auditorium. As I neared the door, I heard the screeching sound of the Microphone. Our Principal, Mr. Silas' voice boomed as he introduced the teachers in attendance, I then knew that whatever was going on in there was important. I peeked inside the room filled with cackling students, the Principal, Miss Udi, and Mr. Newton. An unknown woman - probably in her 30s was standing on the stage beside our Principal. I narrowed my eyes as I tried to focus on her. She was a brown-skinned lady, clearly from Nigeria. She was beautiful with a sharp pointy nose and was quite tall. She was smiling widely, her pearly white teeth in the display. Our Principal cleared his throat as he spoke through the microphone. While I tip-toe into the hall.
"Good morning students," he started.
"Good morning sir," the students replied in a dull response.
"As we all know," he continues, "we have a distinguished guest in our midst today. Some of you might recognize her while some won't, so I'm going to introduce her to us formerly," he turned to her as he spoke.
"She's the famous Author, Doreen Asher. CEO of 'Sunshine publishing' in Lagos. She's also been an advocate for 'Hope Children's Outreach for 7 years now. She's here basically for a function related to that. Furthermore, she is an alumnus of this school. Therefore, she decided to come to visit us and share a few words that will help teenagers in this stage where important decisions of life are made," students groaned at the mention of a Pep talk.
"Attention please," he scorned. "We all know it's not every day we get to meet such intelligent people that have made so much impact in our society, so let's sit tight and listen to every word," he turned to her and handed her the microphone. She received it with a smile.
"Thank you so much sir for an opportunity like this. As he said, I was once a student here. However, back then, he was my Maths teacher, so I think congratulations are in order," she stretched out her hand for a handshake. As they shook hands the auditorium resounded with applause.
As I sat in an empty seat behind me, I spotted Miss Udi's stern expression. No doubt they're here to give us a look of disapproval if we misbehaved and make us feel uncomfortable. I sat far from their vision. Instead, I wondered what it would be like to be successful and reside in a big city. I suddenly wished I had everything she has. The big city is full of opportunities, maybe I could find something to do, and become my boss. Maybe even more, become an author too. That would be cool, I thought with a smile.
"Okay. How many of us have made decisions about new things," she started. Her voice is soft but firm. She spoke so eloquently and gracefully. She fiddled with her gold wristwatch, which contrasted with her peach-colored blouse.
"For the boys, it could be about getting a new haircut that later looks like it's been cut with scissors,"
"I've been there Ma..." a voice roared in the crowd. Everyone chuckled.
" ...or the ladies plaiting a new hairstyle and it turns out so bad that you felt like just barbing your hair to get rid of the nasty thing," she said with a smile. She suddenly wore a solemn expression on her face.
"How many of us made decisions we wished we could be given a clean slate to rewrite the - permit me to use the word 'stupid' decisions we made. if there's one thing I learned as a teenager it's that change is inevitable. Because now and then people you grew up with and thought you knew won't be so familiar anymore. Drastic change is an invisible enemy to teenagers."
"However, with change comes progress. It may seem like a threat, but change isn't necessarily bad, it's just a new perspective of how things are meant to be due to some decisions we make. Hence, I'll say, don't be distracted by society or what it says, you might see a glimpse of challenges and environmental changes, but one good thing is, both boys and girls can change things. Despite how timid you feel when society seems to ignore you or think you'll never amount to anything, you're still never too young to change things." The room went silent in awe, enraptured with her words. *I* was enraptured with her.
"What about appearance Ma!" A voice called from the crowd, "I'm not good-looking enough to be an advocate."
"He's right Ma." Another voice chimed.
"...or anything important." He timidly confessed. While some girls giggled at Barry's antics. He was simply the class clown.
She sighed. "You know, we live in an image self-obsessed culture of now that insists on physical appearance or what you have and what you can give. However, what the world needs are change makers," she said with a smile. "So when you set your mind to it, you can be." She quietly observed us, as if she sensed unbelief in our hearts. She breathes out a soft laugh.
"Okay," she raised her hands in surrender, "I'm not speaking from a state of inexperience or a theory of a theological mindset, nor am I trying to be inspirational but…let me ask this, "How many of us girls were deemed not fit because you're not pretty enough or not too skinny - sometimes too skinny to fit a particular purpose? I want to see hands if you would please," her eyes searched around the room for hands. I was hesitant to do so. Instead, I turned to see those with their hands up. Almost all the girls raised their hands in agreement. She nodded with a satisfied smile. "Good," she nodded.
"To the boys also. "Anyone ever expressed their disapproval of you-especially the girls," the boys hooted and she suppressed a smile of her own.
"...or criticized you on every level, thus you have to constantly meet up to everybody's expectations?" The room grew quiet.
"Might be about how immature and unpopular you are or more," she continued. "Boys! Let's see those hands, please. Acceptance is one of the first steps to being a great change-maker. No one will judge. Even if they do-I'll say, change is also being bold, so they're foolish…Good, thank you," she said with a smile as someone complied. I turned and I immediately spotted Nelson Jide. The Head boy. His hands were raised above his head. Determination marred his features. Wow. I sighed heavily. Well, what do you know? Nelson the perfect boy has problems and has experienced criticism. I always thought the boy had nothing to keep him up at night. And here I thought I was the only one with teenage fears and indecisiveness.
"I don't have a solution," they all groaned.
"But...I have one remedy that might work, causing different people to require different medicines. So...to the girls, I'll advise we worry less about the gaps in our thighs.." Chuckles echoed around the room, "...and focus more on working our minds to take the world by the horns and worry more about other lives. To the boys, well stop worrying about the next best girl in school and work for your grades." The auditorium exploded with laughter and applause. Her smile was huge as she watched us with a glint in her eyes. She sighed.
"I was facing challenges in my life when I was your age. Particularly my personal life. I had to make some critical decisions. By then, I was worried about the mundane things of life, like how in the world I'm I to lose the small amount of weight I had gained in the past week or sneaking out money from my mother's purse to buy the next best make-up kit just so I could meet up with what was in style," she said with a sad smile. "At that time, that was the only thing that mattered," her lips were suddenly set in a grim line. Her countenance shifted and so did everyone else's.
"To cut this short, my father suffered from incurable cancer and died. My Mother…well, she was too heartbroken to stay alive, so she left right after. I was left with thoughts and questions that can never be answered. And apparently, bills to pay. Of course, I had to find a way to fend for myself," she suddenly grinned. She intertwined her fingers around the microphone.
"Permit me to ask this question. How many of us know what our friend is recently or secretly going through?" the room was silent. "Let's find out what the important things are."
"How do we know what the important things are Ma?"
"Find what matters. What fulfills you? Until then, keep searching. Finally, I say, change-positive change starts from those closest to you. Thank you all for having me," she ended with a smile and a wave. The whole room exploded with applause. I decided that I wanted to be like this woman.
♡´・ᴗ・`♡♡´・ᴗ・`♡
We sat on a bench, under a tree in the center of the school premises to eat our lunch. Turns out we spent more than an hour in the auditorium. Gina was still in a foul mood - as I was too. She nibbled on her fried yam and sauce. While I munched on a cookie I managed to grab it from Emily's plate earlier. Students were scattered around the premises, chatting, laughing and some…well, flirting. I spotted Andrew at the far corner with Alice they were standing so close together. I frowned, what are they doing together? whispering nothingness to each other. He said something that made her throw her head back in laughter. I scoffed.
"Staring at your long-term crush?" Gina disrupted my thoughts.
I cleared my throat. "What do you mean?"
"Yes. What do you Mean Gina?" Joe asked, with furrowed brows.
"She knows what I'm talking about," Gina narrowed her eyes at me.
"Andrew," she raised her brows towards his direction, "your co-captain Joe. He's Donna's future boyfriend," she giggled, while I threw her a glare for blowing off my cover.
"What! Donna has a crush?"
"Why? I'm not allowed to have one?"
"But you're ice queen!" He said with wide eyes, "you're incapable of feeling anything. I of all people should know," he said in a solemn tone.
"What do you mean?" What he said stroke a cord of remembrance of what Alice said about him having a crush on me.
"Oh," he blinked. "Nothing," he shrugged and snatched a strip of yam from Gina's plate and shoved it in his mouth.
"Joe?" I stared him straight in the face.
"Mmm?"
"Do you have a crush on me?" He spewed the contents of his mouth like a Llama in our faces. My eyes automatically shut at the impact. And there's my answer.