Taking a spoonful of sloppy oatmeal, Daniel continues with his reaccount of what happened that day.
"The whole time I was walking with you, I felt nervous. It felt like I grew really tall and I was miles away from the floor. Despite that, all I thought was how beautiful you were but I couldn't bring myself to look at you. I was too afraid that you would look back at me. I had to say something. I was quiet for the past 2 blocks."
Daniel fidgets around trying to find something to say until he utters, "So, how… how are you doing in school?"
"Ok, I guess", I unenthusiastically reply.
"Oh umm… that's good…I guess", Daniel stutters.
Daniel takes a sip of his awfully sweet coffee and says to me, "I was thinking, "Fuck that went terrible!" I had to ask you something that you cared about." He puts down his cup and looks downwards to his oatmeal, almost as if he reminding himself of how uncomfortable and awkward he was at that time.
"So do you like Jeremy?", Daniel asks me.
"I thought to myself, "Shit, Why did I ask her that? But you told me" Daniel says, "but you told me."
"Idon't know, I can't tell you", I said.
Daniel curiously asks, "Like you don't want to tell me or you don't even know yourself?
"The second one", I replied.
Daniel seems puzzled but then he asks me out of the blue, "Hmm… Can I ask you why?"
"Why are you asking me all these questions?", I rudely ask him.
"No reason. I just want to know you", Daniel said with a kind smile.
He tells me that I was getting red with the sort of embarrassment that is associated with flattery. But I think I was getting red with the embarrassment of cringe. I don't want to tell him that though, I rather him think it was me getting flattered.
"If you really want to know…", I tell him and continued with honesty, "I think he's cute enough for me to try to steal glances of him during class but since he asked me out it feels like he has been intentionally avoiding me. Almost like I don't exist, maybe I made him nervous or maybe I said something wrong. I don't know."
"How were you two together before that day? Were you friends?", Daniel asks me.
"Not exactly… We would occasionally greet each other, so we were more like acquaintances than we were friends. But since he asked me out, our eyes never seem to meet or they're simply unable to", I answer.
"Are you sure?… Sometimes it can seem that way when you are in love", Daniel says with conviction.
Giggling to himself, he reminds himself, "Oh no! Am I consoling her about her feelings about this asshole!"
"Did you really think that?", I ask him. He looks at me still giggling, "Yeah I did. I mean it was suppose to be about me and you but all I can do is talk about the guy."
"No, I don't think it's love…", I tell him.
He tells me with excitement, "Yes, this is exactly what wanted to hear."
"…but if it is love, I wouldn't even be aware of it because the sensation of falling in love is something I am inexperienced in. I wouldn't think it would be this hurtful."
"Yeah, truthfully neither would I.But… but I don't think it's suppose to hurt."
I began to tell him, "Sometimes, I like to think it's like the soap operas my mom used to watch when I was young. The ones where the handsome man comes and protects the woman he loves from bad guys. Other times, I think that love will never come to me because it's something that truly doesn't exist. It's a make believe feeing used to calm the lonely and… and I mean I'm not going to believe in a false sense of attachment. It's like being a kid that believes in fairy tales."
Daniel chuckles to himself as he takes a sip of coffee, "When you told me that I was a bit worried. I thought you were going to be one of those chicks that are all doom and gloom about life."
"Doom and gloom?", I ask him," I seemed like those girls that would paint their nails black and wear heavy makeup."
He replies, "You don't have to dress up like them to be one of them you know. It's just there style."
"You think so?", ask Daniel
"Yes…", I said before stopping myself, "Daniel, have you ever had a girlfriend?
"I did once… it was in kindergarten and unfortunately, she didn't let me kiss her. So I had to break up with her", he jokingly replies.
Laughing at his comment, I ask him, "No, I was talking about one more recently, a more mature relationship."
"Nah I haven't. I'd probably be asking for a kiss like I did back then too though, those kinds of desires never go away for a man", he jokes around but that answer made me uneasy.
"What about you? Have you ever been with someone?", he asks me and reply, "I did but I never really liked the guy. But if we are talking about childhood crushes, when I was a young girl, I had a crush on my english teacher.
Chuckling Daniel says, "Thats weird I didn't think you were into way older guys."
"It's nothing like that, I just thought he was handsome so I had a little crush on him. Let me see…. His name was Mr.Phillips", I tell him.
"What happened to Mr.Phillips, Did you ever grow out of it?", Daniel asks me.
I pause before answering, "No, He passed away in a transportation accident… I felt terrible for his family, his children were my classmates but I never saw them again after I found out the news."
"That must of been tough", replies Daniel.
I took a second to think about the fate of his children and wife, "Yes it was."
"What about his wife?", he asks.
I remembered about the harsh reality of those situation, "My guess is that she was drafted. You know how it is… The Loveless can't be here. That or she left, I don't know, that was many years ago but I doubt she left."
"Yeh… I couldn't imagine the love of my life being drafted, my guilt would be carried on to the grave if my partner got drafted for my stupid mistake", he claims.
"So would I", I agree with him.
"I wouldn't let something like that happen though, I would want to protect my loved one at all cost. I couldn't imagine you being drafted over someone", Daniel nonchalantly says.
My face grew red with blush and embarrassment and I try to diffuse his comment, "What makes you think my partner would be moronic enough to die on me?"
"I'm not saying that, Im just saying—", Daniel says just before being interrupted. While we were walking down the sidewalks of the main area of the citadel, there was word that crime was rising. When we passing an ally way, a man with a mask jumped out and demanded up to give him our money and possessions.
"Empty your pockets!", the man yelled out.
He had a knife in his hand and pointed it directly at us. We had enough time to run away from the creep but Daniel yells out, "No!", and stood his ground. In my head I was thinking, "Does this idiot want to get killed."
I look over to him and tell him, "Daniel, The fuck are you doing?! He has knife!"
Daniel yells out again to the masked man, "Get the fuck out of here before I stomp you"
I immediately reach into my bag to get out my wallet to hand over the guy but Daniel raises his arms up to block me.
"You're not getting shit from us!", he said to the man.
Swinging his arms back and forth, Daniel walks with bravado towards the masked man and cocks his arms up. But with a quick left hook, the masked man knocks Daniel down to the ground. While on the ground the masked man flips over Daniel and reaches for his back pocket to get his wallet.
"Oh my god Daniel!", I screamed out in a panic.
"Fucking kid, I should kill you just for giving me trouble", the man says as he gives one final kick to Daniel's ribs. He then looks up and turns his attention to me, "You too, Give me your wallet!"
I raise my wallet up to him and he quickly snatches it away and he runs off with our wallets. I rush and throw myself to the ground next to Daniel to check on him, "Why the hell would you do something like that Daniel? Can you hear me? Wake up!"
I didn't know what to do so my first instinct was to slap him and he opens his eyes.
Still confused Daniel says, "Im ok, Im fine. Where did he go."
Feeling embarrassed but he tries to hide while taking a sip of coffee, "I was trying my hardest not to cry in front of you… I was so embarrassed that I got knock out by a punch. I didn't even put up a fight."
"He ran off somewhere, Why would you try to do something so stupid Daniel?", I tell him.
"I wanted to say something romantic to you. Like I did it to protect someone I love", Daniel tells me.
I just looked at him with tears running down my eyes, I thought he got hurt and it was because of me. I acted on another instinct and kissed him on the cheek. Daniel said nothing to me because he is embarrassed of what happened.
"I'm glad you didn't say anything like that", I tell him just looking at him trying to hide behind his coffee mug.
"You Idiot, all you.. all you did was get a black eye! He would've just left us alone if we gave him our wallets! I thought you were going to die!", I shout out in fear.
Daniel Smiles.