Eros or the life instinct, a certain psychology phrase I read back when I was in school. It was supposedly thought up by a pre-war psychologist, if I remember correctly, back in the late 20th century. The best way to describe it is the insisted need in humans to live life, have children, and in general survive in whatever situation they will find themselves in. For instance, when a baby is born, it isn't taught that it needs to suck on the mother's breast to survive, it just does.
However, the life instinct is also something that is learned as well. It is the origin of the pack mentality, to feel safety in numbers. This is where the last component of the life instinct matters: communication. I believe this is the final step of having a healthy Eros.
I haven't read any of these books in a long time, I wonder why I still have any of these books at home. I just have them in a cabinet collecting dust, maybe they are here just in case I get a random urge to pick up and read one. Looking through them bring back memories, like when I was learning to become a marriage counselor before I found out what was really going on in those places.
Thinking about it now, no wonder these books weren't banned. The NAC probably saw some use in these old-world teachings. TV has become too boring, reading too. I guess for now I should go back and put the groceries away and start making dinner for Daniel. He deserves it.
After I put everything in their respective places, I change to my comfy home clothes and begin preparing a big pot of meatball soup, Daniel's favorite. I always found it funny that when it rains, it gets hot in our apartment. It starts to be become like a sauna. If I open the window, I get some air to breeze out the apartment, but it also means that some rain will get in. There's no winning so I rather just deal with the heat.
I pour myself a glass of tap water and sip it, but it had this weird metal taste in it. "They must be doing repairs down in the pipes again." So, I just throw the water down the sink and wait a bit for them to be done fixing the pipe. Seeing as there is nothing to do besides wait for the meatballs to cook, I head to the couch and watch some boring TV.
Before reaching the TV, I pass by our living room mirror. I look at myself and reflect on how big I've gotten over the months. "I hope you don't come out that big", I say to my baby bump.
"Remember to always report suspicious activity to your local-"
I change the channel.
"He proposed to me after-"
"I love you Emily, I want you to be-"
"Your government depends-"
"What should I get for-"
"A NAC citizen, is a citizen of the Voice-"
Thinking out loud to myself, I say in annoyance, "God there is nothing to waaatch!" I flip over to another channel.
"Good afternoon, America, Welcome to the citadel post offering show-"
I look over to the clock in the kitchen and say to myself, "Oh shit, its 6:20 already. Daniel should be getting here any second. That's so weird I could've sworn it was barely 5:50." I get up and waddle to the kitchen and check on the soup. I reach for a ladle and fill it to get a sip of the broth and immediately get a taste of the spiciness. Daniel might've been a wimp for bitter tasing things, but he loved spicy food. I couldn't handle it and I quickly get a cup full of tap water and downed it. I didn't even care that it tasted like metal, I just needed something to take away the sting of the spice.
About 20 minutes pass and still no Daniel. Suddenly, I hear the phone ring and I waddle to it slightly faster to pick it up.
"Hello", the other line said.
I immediately recognized the voice and said, "Hey, Henry."
"Hey Selma. What's up?", he said. Confused I tell him, "What do you mean, you were the one that called me."
"I did?", Henry said even more confused.
"Well, anyways, now that I have you, have you seen Daniel", I ask, "Or do you know if he stayed in overtime again?"
"Oh… no, I haven't seen him, he left before I got a chance to catch the train with him."
"Really? because he hasn't gotten home yet and I'm starting to worry a bit."
"Yeah… Yeah, no I'm sorry."
"It's ok, thanks Henry."
"I'm sure he'll get home soon- with the rain people are backing up the train system. I'm still stuck myself", says Henry before interrupting himself, "Selma... do you feel kind of funny, have you drunken any water?"
"Water?", I think, "Yeah. Funny, no."
"Ok good, if I'm being honest with you Selma, I am a little worried, I'm sure you saw you know who yesterday, I think they might be on to us. I didn't see Daniel leave and I think that's weird", Henry tells me panicked. "I think they might be on to us", he continued.
"Henry, sorry I don't know what you are talking about", I tell him, "You must be tired, just get home safe ok?"
"Yeah, you're right. I must be tired", Henry says.
"Take care ok, call me when you get home. Bye", I say then quickly hang up before giving Henry a chance to say goodbye.
After that I quickly waddle to the front door and poke my head out into the hallway and scan both ends. There is no one in sight and I find that quite odd, usually around this time, most of the men are coming home from work but the hallway is completely empty. I go back and sit back at the table, only to see that the clock reads 6:33. Only 13 minutes have passed.
I begin to cough up a storm and I reached for a cup of water that I don't remember pouring myself. Shrugging it off, I take a full gulp before I remember what Henry had told me about the water. Something was off I kept on forgetting. As this startling realization begins to set in me, I turn to the clock, and it reads 7:33.
That's impossible, a whole hour has passed. I dropped the glass of water out of shock. I've heard that the NAC was known to spike water supplies with strong hallucinogenics before they commence a raid. As quick as I can, I run to our room and get our secret bug-out bag ready. I grab both mine and Daniel's just in case. I begin to feel groggy, and my head begins to have a thudded headache. But before I am able to leave, I grab our wedding photo.
I take one last glance at the clock; it is now 9:45. I peek my head out the hallway before and to not draw any attention to myself, I briskly walk towards the elevator. I hastily tap on the ground floor button and the stupid elevator takes it's sweet-ass time to close. Hopefully, when I get down there's not going to be any peacekeepers or anything or hopefully, this is just a bad dream. Maybe I just fell asleep sitting down on the couch. But this doesn't feel like a dream, this is really happening!
Suddenly the elevators come to a stop. Another person is awaiting the elevator. An otherworldly tall, sunken eyed man dressed in a suit with a hat on enters the elevator with me. In a deep and hoarse voice, the strange man forces out a "Hello."
I don't know what it is about this man but, looking at him only brought sheer terror. I practically know most people who live here, and I have never seen this creature before. Trying to snap out of my fear, I say a very quiet, "Hello..."
Sharing a moment of silence, he begins to speak to me in his uncanny voice, "You're here a little... bit to early- don't you think? Never mind, don't answer that, there's... no substance to that question." The fear only intensified when I heard this man speak, he spoke with such strange inflictions in his sentences, emphasizing on the wrong parts of a word and taking strange pauses almost like he was struggling to read.
"What… what do you mean? Do you live here?", I ask him.
"I'm afraid- as it is, your conclusion hasn't reached a point of closure… a closure that anyone will be happy with... At least- not meet my satisfaction", the strange man said as he raised his lanky arms to his mouth, "Then again, I think your fate has been decided since the start of this story. You can see it coming over the hill and nothing is going to stop those relentless wheels of time."
"Huh?", I say as I look at him in confusion, but he isn't even looking at me, he is as still as a statue, only looking forward at the elevator door. He appears to have the face of an elderly man but the smoothness of a young man. Looking at him made no sense.
"Nevertheless, allow me to impose a question on you. Do you know the value of the number three?", he asks as he turns his head towards me. I quickly turn away because this man's face was seriously giving me the creeps. "The number three?", I ask still in confusion.
"Yes, the number three", says the man as he turns his head back at the elevator door, "The consistency of the value is something that is inescapable. I want you to try and understand it."
"Who are you?"
From the corner of my eye, I can see him move his head in a jerky manner and look dead at me. His eyes... God his eyes. There were only two craters where they should be. Only two black holes that lead to nowhere.
"Sorry. That's right I never introduced myself…"