Bang. Bang.
I shot him twice, once directly between his perfect brows and once right through the upper left half of his body. My whole body shivered, every strand of hair feeling new as I lowered my gun. The fear in my eyes wasn't because of the fact that I had just killed a person I loved, but because when i looked into his eyes just before shooting I saw all kinds of emotions in them, except fear.
His iconic cocky little smirk was right there, the mischievous glint in his eyes never disappeared until after the bullets had pierced his skin and he landed on the carpeted floor of my house's living room with a loud thud. I gulped loudly, throat clogging with feelings before I regained composure. I had to focus, he was just an enemy!
I looked to his left, there she stood in all her glory, watching her family fall apart right in front of her eyes. I expected her to fall down, the gun falling out of her hand, onto the floor, which would've given me enough time to kill her and the rest of her minions. I would've liked to believe that we would have won over her because that's what she would pick.
Family.
Family over anything and everything.
What I did not expect was her to stand still, tall, proud, and beautiful as she has always been. It wasn't like she was heartless or something. She cared, more than I ever did for him but I had no idea that he would take the idea of family to this extent, till death. And because she cared, her hand did waver but only for a second maybe less than that, her eyes did water, seeing him go right in front of her, but only for a second.
The very next second, her guns were pointed right where mine had been towards him, one between my brows, the other towards my heart, cocked and ready to be fired.
Is she gonna shoot? of course, she's gonna shoot, I took everything from her. her family, the first one, and now him. All she has left are them, those seven boys.
I rolled my eyes looking at her concentrated face, I can almost imagine her like a red chili pepper. Why is she so dramatic?
"Are you gonna do something-"
Bang. Bang.
She shot the other shorter girl right where she had shot him.
"Hoe."
She said after shooting, tucking her guns into their holsters. One wrapped around her waist, the other around her right thigh over the black leather pants she wore. What did she think? She was gonna talk trash, right after she killed her family? killed him?
Family over anything and everything, every time.
Them. They cover everything and anything, every time all the time.
And now her seven boys over anything and everything, every time all the time.
Because they are all she has. What she's ever had.
Who is she, you ask?
She is nothing but a 21-year-old girl fighting for her family.
-
Clouds.
I had been looking at those clouds for the past 15 minutes. Precisely zoning out, I looked to my right where my knife was lying limp on the grass. The grass was still a little moist and I could feel my white tee sticking to my belly, the moisture seeping in a little through my jeans.
I just wanted to go back to sleep. But. The world had other plans for me.
The training was amazing today and as always Mr. Melon, my mother's high school friend (also my mentor) tried to persuade me to leave the whole training thing and live with him and his daughters. Truth is, I really like him and his family but I don't want to be an outsider in a place I need to live.
They would never make me feel comfortable but I can't risk their lives in this whole fiasco either. Life has been a little...tough?
Terrible would be a better word to describe it. Life's been terrible for the past few days, my mental health is unspeakably ruined. I feel like I'll explode if I don't let it out to somebody.
With a loud sigh, I tried to shake away these thoughts and placed both my hands over my stomach trying to relax before I needed to get back home. The bruises on my left wrist because of the handgrip I had tied around it during practice were aching and after the last month of training, I could say that the pain was a little bittersweet.
In fact, pain and happiness were vague concepts to me now, both being polar opposites are often found together. There was no rhyme and reason to such feelings.
Love.
The perfect example, the ones you love are the ones that hurt you the most. The ones you give too much to, without asking anything but loyalty in return are the ones who fool you in the end, and sometimes even when you know they're gonna break you apart from the inside you still continue to love them.
Why? because even if they cause pain, they're the ones keeping you sane. Tragic, isn't it?
"BEE!!"
Here she comes, what do I call you my love? Are you still my happiness or have you turned into pain too?
I faked a smile and quickly hid the knife in my pocket along with the cover of it.
"Hi, Jullian." She smiled at me, showing quite a lot of teeth, and plopped down next to me, on the wet grass. She was wearing my brother's hoodie again today. He must've given it to her before I last saw him. I sighed in disappointment but quickly covered it with a small smile.
"So, guess what happened?" She questioned, excitement pouring right through her eyes and little giggles. God, how I miss being so happy and excited.
It's been a month and a week since that day.
My mom and jack, both were talking in the kitchen, baking cookies for jack's birthday while I was sitting on the dining table peacefully peeling tangerines for myself when two gunshots had fired through the window, piercing through the air, deafening me for a few seconds.
I had jumped up in surprise, eyes widening as I saw my life fall apart. Mom and Jack fell to the ground in an instant, their eyes void of any life. As shocked as I was, fear took over me and I fell to the ground too, my legs wobbly and shaky because of how hard I was hyperventilating.
My vision was blurry but when I heard the glass window in the kitchen crumble to pieces on the floor, I knew I had to go. I had just tried to stand up when a formally-dressed man barged in through the window and oblivious to him I hid under the luxurious table peeking through the gaps of the chairs' legs.
I had watched him drag them out of the house one by one with some of my mother's documents and along with everything, my happiness. I wish I could've done something but I was too scared, too fragile to fight against him. Blood had rushed to my nose and pumped in my ears and even though I was shaking terribly, I had gotten up to my feet as soon as he was out of the house.
I had stumbled around the house into the kitchen, freezing in my spot when I saw the pools of blood in place of their bodies. I knew he took them but the house had suddenly felt so empty, so huge and so suffocating all at once that I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I had called Mr. Melon after an hour of constant sobbing, somehow remembering where the phone book was.
He had asked me what happened but I couldn't tell him, I was too shaken up to say anything other than 'I'm sorry' and I said it a million times, to him, to them and to myself. I failed at saving my own family only because I was scared.
Why didn't they kill me? Simple, because they had no idea I existed. Because to them, Felony Brown had only one kid, Jack. I've always been hidden from the darker side of the world because in my father's eyes I was a mere genetic mistake.
"Women are of no use into my version of the world, they are just genetic mistakes with the benefit of being a breeding slut." He had said and because of which they took my family away but not me. I don't wanna live without them, I have no purpose to do so.
Heck, even he isn't alive anymore more. Its just me now, and Noah. Maybe, just maybe Jullian too.
"Are you even listening bee bear?" she said, a sweater paw wiping at her nose softly.
No, I wasn't listening, I don't even think I'm your bee bear now.
I nobody's somebody anymore. I'm not even something to myself.