Hui reached over from behind me, grasping my left wrist. Sweat trickled down my forehead as my lips were parted in breathlessness. "Move your arm down gently, like you're caressing the wind. Poise your wrist just so," she murmured by my ear.
One of her maids hit the same two-beat with the clapper, guiding me as I danced "The Flitting of the Butterfly", the third of the eight dances I had to learn under the Crown Princess. In time, I took four quick steps backwards, bending and twirling in a small circle. The final step was done, and I collapsed on the floor, panting.
"Well done," Hui murmured. Despite her youth, she was a strict teacher. I had no doubts as to why the Crown Prince chose to promote her to Crown Princess out of the 10 other women he had taken into his harem.
Yu Ru applauded from the side, squealing in excitement at the Princess' praise for me. "Silence!" the maid who was clapping the two-beat for me snapped at her. I watched as Yu Ru reddened and bowed deeply in apology.
The Crown Prince had said that there was no faster way to get news through and out of the Palace than through the maids and servants. Every servant in the Palace was forbidden from sharing the news, but forbidding something only makes it easier to share.
With Yu Ru's enthusiasm and excitement, as well as her being permitted to enter the Crown Princess' quarters with me after a week of training, was enough to solidify the idea that I was to be the next Virtuous Consort.
I had laid in bed many times, cursing Lang for his forward thinking. Even Huan Xi and her husband had sent their regards and congratulations for my wedding - even though no decree had been made.
I had been summoned into the Palace every day for over a month, and Father and I barely had the chance to talk. Grandmother and I occasionally met in the Palace, when she was on her way to the Queen's quarters for tea. I was thankful enough that I didn't have to meet her at home. Every instance we had been alone together, she would go off into a long lecture on what a woman had to do to capture her husband's heart. Hui taught me enough of what to do in bed.
I did find something from Father on my table at dawn, exactly one month after I was given the decree. There was a hastily written letter from Father, stating that he was leaving one of his best daggers to me, and that I had to burn the paper. We were being watched by the Crown Prince's men. He knew that Father would not hesitate to flee with me and Grandmother if it meant being deemed a traitor.
I burned the letter to ash with the candle by my bed and picked up the dagger that Father had stowed away for his own private use. It had been sheathed in leather made of an animal's skin, and the handle was carved with the word Yan, our clan's name. I didn't dare bring it along with me, for fear that the guards would search my body at the Palace's main gates. There had been several instances when I had been searched, though it was getting less likely.
Slow clapping came from behind me. I had been dancing in the Crown Princess' garden, where there was a big empty space for me to train. Almost all servants had been ordered away to guard the entrance.
"Your Highness," Hui curtsied immediately. My shoulders tensed on instinct. Rising slowly, I turned myself around and curtsied too. "Your subject greets Your Highness, the Crown Prince." From the corner of my eye, I watched as Yu Ru got on her knees to pay her respects to him. I was relieved. If there was something Yu Ru was not, it was that she wanted her head rolling for disrespecting the Royal family.
He hadn't changed one bit. Aside from his carp robes being orange instead of blue, he looked like how he had been. Cruel, narrow eyes watching me. He entered the garden with a stroll, hands behind his back now that he was done applauding. Eunuch Zhang followed behind him with a scroll in his hands. My dread grew.
"That would be "Your wife", Lady Yan Qing." I clenched my teeth together but did not answer. He brushed away my silence and reached out to his Wife. Hui got up, grinning at him. "How have you been, Wife?" he asked, lifting her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to it.
My skin crawled, but Hui let out a tinkling laugh. Disgusting. Royal men rarely call their First Wives "Wife", the way that noblemen call their wives for the appearance of equal status in the marriage. There really was nothing that the Crown Prince wasn't willing to do if it meant that he could get what he wanted.
"Your wife has been well. Lady Yan is doing good in her training." I stayed close to the floor as the husband and wife spoke courteously. I eyed the scroll in the Eunuch's hands, and he seemed to realise my gaze. He bowed low as I made eye contact with him.
"Ah, yes, Eunuch Zhang, come over. Read my decree to the Virtuous Consort. I believe she would be delighted by the good news." Prince Lang's amusement was apparent.
"By order of the Crown Prince," the Eunuch began. "Lady Yan Qing of the Yan clan is hereby declared to be my woman of the position of Virtuous Consort. She will be married to me on the 8th of the 5th Month, an auspicious day in Spring. Her dowry has been prepared and shall be sent to the Yan Manor the dawn of the day. She shall accept the order. End of decree."
Even though I knew it was coming, it somehow felt worse with the decree being read out.
I raised my hands up to take the order from the Eunuch. "Your subject obeys," I mumbled numbly.
A hand reached out to my arm, and I flinched away from it. Prince Lang raised his eyebrows at me, hand held out. Folding the scroll in my hands, I got up with just my legs, staring into his eyes in challenge. Unlike Yu Ru, who would have to fear for her life, I didn't worry about dying by his hands. Only by his words while in a far away land, amongst my enemies in Jin Tang.
"Keep it up, woman," he whispered as he stood closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face, but I kept my stance. He reached out and grasped my chin, and it took me everything not to punch him in the face. "You'll end up being a wonderful wife."
I bared my teeth at the irony. "But I won't be yours, Crown Prince. Unhand me," I whispered.
Lang's eyes traced down to my lips before he released my chin. Hui watched on quietly, as though she didn't see her husband touch another woman before her. I took a step away from him, bowing my head. "Your subject thanks Your Highness," I said stiffly.
"Come in. We have much to discuss. My Wife," Lang turned to his Princess. "Will you allow us to use your Study Hall for a moment? I need to speak to Yan Qing alone." Hui nodded at her maid, who was barely able to conceal her disgruntlement, before gesturing for us to enter the East wing of her Palace.
Lang sat down behind the desk, his eyes never once leaving me. I was dressed in a pink set of robes. I chose it because of it's lightweight; the best for dancing.
I decided not to bother faking my courtesy anymore. With that decree, my mission was solidified. He needed me alive more than dead. With how forward-thinking he was, he must have had his spies or allies in Jin Tang ready with my information already. It'd be a hassle to replace me.
"Does your Wife find my appointment as Consort hurtful?" I bent over the table, relaxing my body as I leaned in closer to him. There was a minute change in his expression to one of surprise, but it was gone in a blink.
"Unlikely. She is Crown Princess. What else does she have to complain about? She would be my Queen. There is nothing more honourable than that."
I snorted. "Queenship is more of a burden than an honour, Sire. The title is heavy, just as heavy as the King's. Don't think you can satisfy her simply with "honour" and money."
The Prince got up, nostrils flaring as his eyes blazed. I must have hit a raw nerve, but there was something so satisfying about seeing him angry.
"Separating Father and I day to night, promising Grandmother "honour" and money for the Yan clan... You're taking my life away from me, Sire. Even if I can't change your mind, I will do my best to show you what is true. Being your concubine is nothing of honour or glory." My words became a near hiss as I let my emotions seep into my voice. "It's a burden."
"Queens and concubines are merely pawns in a game of Court," the Crown Prince stared me down, chin high.
I returned him a smile, though my cheeks were stiff and reluctant to accommodate my lips. "Then why would a mere woman like me be your only tool to turn the tide?" That opened the gates I had put up against the rage that had been simmering in the pit of my stomach for over a month.
"Then why does a Court even require women? Why have so many of us? Why send a woman to end the war instead of fighting? Why?"
"To control their fathers!" he slammed his hand down on the table, shouting now that my words has angered him. His eyes were wild, and he was breathing heavily. His hands were clenched into fists, and the tremble of his arms proved that he was trying very hard not to hit me. Grim satisfaction filled me. That would teach him how hopeless I had felt.
"Then why not just control them with your power? Your honour and glory and money? Why do you need women? Why?" I raised my voice even louder than his, not backing down. "Just pawns in a game of Court? Ha." I let out a cold laugh, in utter disbelief.
"You wield women like weapons, Crown Prince. But you see them as dirt."
He was stunned speechless.
For a moment, he watched me. But in a flash, he grabbed me by the collar and tugged, his grip tearing my robes open. My undergarments were exposed, but I paid no heed, anger simmering within me still.
"Do not. Test me. Wretch." His words were hissed through his teeth. I smiled at how I succeeded in riling him up.
"Kill me. Kill me and let General Yan take over the Palace. At least I'd be honoured as a Princess posthumously. I would be honoured; honoured more than I'd be as a spy in an enemy state awaiting a miracle."
The Crown Prince let out a long heavy sigh. With a tiny smile, he shook his head. "I can't wait to see you succeed, my liang di."
Letting go of my ripped clothes, he stepped out from behind the desk. "You will change the tide - I have no doubt. But it's your choices that will decide which side the waves will crash upon."
As though our argument had not happened, he stepped towards the entrance of the Study Hall.
"For General Yan's sake, I hope the waves don't envelope you and sweep you away with them."
My future husband's back disappeared from view.