Only First Wives were allowed to wear red for their wedding. As the Virtuous Consort, my ceremonial robes were sent to me at the hour of the Tiger, at the most suitable time (ji shi), and the women of the Manor had to be awake before that to await its arrival.
I didn't sleep, and Grandmother let out a visible gasp at the sight of my face when she saw me. "Qing'er!" Her tone was filled with disapproval, but I bowed to her in greeting. The Palace servants arrived with my dowry and the palanquin. As Grandmother and her servants were at the door to receive my dress.
She commended the embroidery courteously towards the Eunuch in-charge, which earned her a big grin. I watched from the distance as she pressed a cloth bag into his palm - she had shoved several pieces of silver to "treat him to tea and snacks".
The Palace girls filed in, and it took me a moment to realise they were heading towards my hall. Alarmed, I rushed back in and donned a new set of underwear, so that they wouldn't have to strip me naked and help me put on everything again. The dagger was tied to my shoulder - I couldn't simply bring it into the Palace with me.
Father was in the main hall, readying everything for the guests who would be arriving to send me off to the Palace. He had invited Yu Ru and Huan Xi, who were both ecstatic to get the chance to attend the wedding in the Palace.
"Your Highness?" The Palace girls stood outside my door just as I tied my inner robes. The greeting grated on my nerves, but I was the Virtuous Consort nonetheless.
"Come in," I said in a steady voice. There were 6 girls, all seemingly younger than I was. Right behind them was a Palace Matron - the higher-ranked ladies in the Palace who taught etiquette to women who were to enter it. As I was trained by the Crown Princess herself, I thankfully avoided such an interaction. However, it would be improper not to have one guide my dress and make-up for the wedding day itself.
"Highness, Matron Ke greets you. Forgive me, but you should not put on your own clothes. Your servants are to do so for you. It is improper," she spoke slowly. Her severe tone seemed to cause the girls to tense up. The older woman narrowed her eyes at me as I stared at her, waiting for her to continue speaking. I nearly wanted to laugh, and I was sure there was a near hysterical smile on my lips.
How ridiculous. I was going undercover to infiltrate another nation and I was being lectured on not putting on underwear on my own.
"Highness..." Matron Ke began, but I cut her off. "I have changed to a new set of inner robes. Before we lose the Auspicious Timing, we should get started."
I took a seat in front of my vanity table, smooth my clothes down. There was a pause as the Matron didn't react. Then she bowed her head.
"Begin!" she commanded. The girls flew into action. They brushed my hair, patted powder on my face, applied red rouge on my cheeks on lips... There were too many things happening for me to keep track. I sat still, allowing them to do what they had to. It was all just an act anyway.
From the hours of the Tiger to the end of hours of the Rabbit, they did my makeup and inserted hairpins and clasped jewelry onto my ears.
"Qing'er?" I blinked from my daydream and turned my head. Grandmother's voice came from the door. "Ah, Madame," the Matron opened the sliding doors, smiling courteously. Grandmother was a good friend of the Queen, and one could see it from how the servants treated her.
"Please forgive this servant, but Madame, Her Highness is now..." "Right, I forgot. I have to greet her now." Grandmother smiled at me and straightened her back.
To my abject horror, she bowed low. I got up from my seat in one vehement move, rushing over to her just as one of the girls inserted the golden butterfly hairpin into my hair.
"Grandmother!" I exclaimed, but the Matron put her arm out before I could reach her. "Highness, she is not part of the royal family. This is the right way."
I nearly lashed out at her. My grandmother was almost 60. How could she bow to me? How could I live with the knowledge that this was one of the final interactions I had with my grandmother?
Grandmother straightened and gave me a smile. In her hands, she had a small box. "This grandmother does not have much to offer you, Highness, but this is something that your father and I thought was best to give you."
She held out the box towards me; a velvety red box that was slightly heavy. I took it with both hands, the protests about how she spoke dying in my throat. This was something I could not control.
"Open it," she encouraged. I did, and nearly burst into tears. It was a jade bracelet. The jade was so clear and translucent, the green almost seemed blue. Famous of jade found only in Yin Shang. But the colour was not what mattered - it was the fact that this had belonged to Mother.
"Your mother loved this bracelet. Now, you can love it too." Grandmother blinked and covered her mouth as the Matron raised her eyebrows at how she had spoke. "Need to get used to this," she laughed. Ducking under the Matron's arm, I wrapped my arms around my grandmother and hugged her tight.
"Thank you, Grandmother. Thank you for raising me. I will never forget what you have done for me," I whispered. Grandmother patted my back, chuckling.
"Silly child, I will visit you often! Why are you getting so sentimental?" She squeezed me and let go. I turned around, eyes burning as I tried not to cry. She would never get the chance. Not when they planned to announce my mysterious illness a month after this wedding.
The Matron looked away from me. I put my mother's bracelet on and stared at her in challenge, daring her to protest. She did not and gestured for me to return to my seat to finish everything.
When everything was finally done, I stared at myself in the mirror. I could barely recognise myself. My lips were a deep red, my eyes lined to sharpen their shape. My off-red robes were at least three layers of clothes, and I needed two people to help me up from the weight.
"Your jade plate, Highness," the Matron said. The rectangular jade piece had my name carved into it, with a carp fish engraved on the bottom. It was a representative of my rank and status, and it was my proof of marriage to the Crown Prince of Yin Shang. This was it.
I held the jade plate both my hands, my rolls of sleeves cascading downwards as I stepped forward.
"The Auspicious Time has arrived!" the Eunuch cried from the courtyard. With a deep breath, I stepped forward with determination. I had to take all the time I had left to enjoy with whatever family I had left.
Everyone from the Yan Manor lined up by the manor entrance, Grandmother and Father standing right at the front. My eyes found Father's, and he tried to give me a smile. He looked like he hadn't slept either. I gave him a smile back, going up to him and ignoring the disapproving Matron behind me.
"I will be fine, Father," I promised in a low voice as I stepped up to him. He gave me a long look before nodding. He trusted me, and that gave me enough hope.
The time for my goodbyes came. Two of the servant girls came to help me again as each supported me by the elbows. As per tradition, women who were married out of their families had to carry out the ritual to do so. As a new member of the royal family, I had skipped most of them, but goodbyes were necessary.
With my shoulders burning from the weight, I held my jade plate to my face, keeping my arms straight as I kneeled down. "Yan Qing bids Grandmother and Father great health and prosperity." I kowtowed, making sure my head was lower than Grandmother's knee.
"Get up, get up, my silly granddaughter," Grandmother cried out. I could hear the thickness in her voice, and it was enough to nearly bring me to tears again. I got up and the servant girls immediately helped to smooth my robes down. Then, it was time for them to greet me.
"Greetings to the Virtuous Consort, Your Highness," the whole retinue of people in Yan Manor chorused together, getting to their knees. My elders murmured the same, bowing and curtsying low. There was barely anytime for heartache.
The Matron waited for one short moment before she was off, ordering everyone to hurry as the distance from the manor to the Palace was not a short one. The open palanquin, just a cushioned chair supported by 6 people, would show my face to everyone who would be there on my way.
My installation as Virtuous Consort was a great affair; the streets that were on the route from the Yan manor to the Palace were lined with red fire crackers. People from all around poked their heads out, trying to find out what the new concubine looked like.
I swayed and jolted with every move of my seat, Father on a horse leading my palanquin. My dagger was small comfort. The Crown Prince had yet to tell me what his exact plans were as to how I would enter Jin Tang, but I was sure he would inform me after the ceremony.
The Palace gates were wide open for my palanquin to pass through. The Palace servants kneeled as I passed, welcoming me. The farce of it all left a sour taste in my mouth.
Finally, we made it to my new Palace. It was on the left of the Eastern Palace, enough to show everyone that the new Yan concubine was to be received with favour from the Crown Prince. The palanquin halted before the gates with a large sign - I nearly laughed. There was no mirth. He had chosen to give my Palace a name that meant 'useful' with the word 'yi'.
My legs were numb from sitting so long, weighed down by all of the ceremonial robes. Father gave me his hand as they lowered the palanquin to the ground. I grasped it tight and he pulled me to my feet.
"Cover the bride's face!" the Eunuch in-charge announced and a servant girl came running with a tray in her hands. In her hands was the red veil that I had dreamt about wearing for Yun. Father gave me a sad smile and picked it up with one hand.
"Your mother would be proud of you, my daughter," he whispered. I squeezed the hand I was still holding and thanked him. I scrutinised his face for a final time before he raised the veil slowly.
Then all I saw was washed with red.
Two servant girls took my arms once again and I took a long walk down the aisle that had been carpeted in red silk. I took slow calming breaths as I held my jade plate steady, setting my gaze upon what was in front of me. It was hard to ignore the hundreds of people lined up around my Palace, watching me as I walked towards my fake husband.
Even through the thin veil, I could make out the Crown Prince waiting for me at the end of the aisle, right before the steps into the Palace's main hall. He was dressed in his usual dark blue, though his head band was red for the occasion. After all, I was just a concubine.
The Crown Princess stood off to the side, wearing her red ceremonial robes. In her hands she held a golden scroll. She was the officiate for my installation, by order of the Queen. She had told me last week that she was excited for the welcome of a concubine, even if I wouldn't actually be one. When I got to the end of the aisle, I got on my knees to receive the decree of my installation.
"On the tenth day of the sixth month, by order of the King and Queen of our great nation, Qing of the Yan clan is hereby installed as Virtuous Consort to the Crown Prince," Hui announced after stepping before me.
"Greetings to the Virtuous Consort, Her Highness!" the Matron in-charge cried out, and everyone joined in on the chorus. After the line was repeated nine times, the Palace sank into quiet once more.
"Lift the veil!" the Eunuch in-charge shouted. The Crown Prince made his way to me, and the swagger in his step made me grit my teeth. Reaching down, he took my arms. I got up, the robes almost tripping me when he held my arms lightly.
"My consort... I welcome you," he murmured as he lifted my veil. I blinked at the bright light from the high afternoon sun. His eyes widened to take me in, but I narrowed my eyes at him in warning.
"To the King's Palace for greetings!" the Eunuch in-charge continued. I couldn't help myself from turning around. I found Grandmother and Father standing to the side, and I gave them a nod and smile. Before long, the Crown Prince took my hand and guided me back down the aisle.
"Your servants bid His Highness and Her Highnesses good day," the hundred people chorused. Unable to turn back to see Father anymore, I tried to pull my hand from the Crown Prince's to hold onto the jade plate with both hands. He refused to let go of my right hand, gripping it tighter the more I tried to pull away.
"Hold still, woman," he hissed as he lifted our intertwined hands to a visible height. The Crown Princess followed along beside her husband, keeping up the pace. We walked our way from the Eastern Palace to the King's Central Palace as part of showing our filial piety.
I would have felt less tired if the Crown Prince had just released my hand, but he kept our arms up, as though showing the entire Palace his new prize. It took us quite a while to reach the Central Palace, and I was panting slightly from the heat and ache in my legs and arms.
"Come, my consort," Prince Lang said. With an air of tenderness, he turned me to him and wiped the sweat on my brow with a handkerchief he had pulled from his robes. I glared at him, but that only seemed to delight him.
"Father! Your son has come with his new concubine!" the Crown Prince shouted when he was done, making me jump. Hui stood placidly at the side, hands clasped before her. The gates opened, and the Prince pulled me along once again. Hui sidled in quietly, not speaking.
When the gates closed behind us, he released my arm, stepping away from me in disdain. I frowned, looking around as I realised there were only two soldiers by the gates. Even then, they didn't wear the headband that symbolised the King's Guard.
"Father isn't going to meet you," he explained with impatience, tossing the handkerchief he had wiped my face with onto the ground. "No point in meeting a consort that wouldn't be here for much longer."
It was much more comfortable not having to deal with his act anymore. I dropped the jade plate right on top of the handkerchief, lifting my chin as I heaved a deep breath of relief.
"Good. Now tell me where I can take this dress off, and you can tell me what are your plans."