Quote of the chapter "PEOPLE LEAVE WHEN THEY WANT"
"Stop it please!" her full force screamed while I was taking her purity, I know she was scared and crying but what can I do? I have no choice. I was afraid like her but this is the only thing I can to to save Leah.
"Please I'm begging, stop it." She repeated, I was afraid hearing her voice, her sweet voice can kill me any time, I want to escape from this nightmare and I wanted to bury everything and finally moved on because every now and then I hear her voice louder and louder it seems like she will never stop screaming and begging for mercy.
"I'm done with you please," I said while her voice are keep on digging me inside.
Definitely, for sure it was the Girl I rape. My victim.
"No! please leave me Alone!" I scream then I woke up. It was a dream. Realistic dream.
"Ride? Are you okay? I heard you screaming." It was lea my girlfriend the girl I save and the reason why I take someone's purity. I look at her and now I realize I'm into reality.
"Yah I-it was a bad dream. That girl always showed up in my dreams and it seems like my conscience will never stop until I paid up for everything." I answered.
"Riddle no, She's not around and besides she doesn't even know you. Please riddle calm down okay? ride you have to convince yourself that what you did is not intentional okay?" She replies.
Lea is rich and next to her luxury, party girl, and spoiled she doesn't take everything for real like a little girl playing games called "Life" as of today I continue believing in the girl I love, that one day she will change into a real woman, I mean the responsible, loyal and trustworthy one, For now, I'm here to give my support, guide and unconditional to love her, I know she deserves it after all.
She is also a famous girl on our campus, what can I say? she's pretty and classy, I was hooked by her unique beauty and we became lovers, a Famous girl fall in love with a simple boy as they said. Lea can effortlessly put a mark on someone's eye using her angelic beauty and curves but this pretty lady chooses me to be her partner.
While Riddle Ford or Ride for short is the lucky guy of her opposite, I live in a simple and small apartment since I decided to live independently and far from my parents. I think this will help me grow physically and emotionally. They give me a chance to prove myself together with my friend Marc the man who never fails to support me, he is a brother to me and child to my parents.
"Hmm by the way Lea are you going somewhere?" I asked since I notice that she's well dressed while wearing heavy makeup.
"Yup today is my friend's birthday, I need to be there, can I?" She answered while giving me a sweet smile to allow her. Who am I to say no?
I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Lea, we're going to clean your condo right? So you are not going, you are always with them like everyday after class right?." I answered.
"Babe, That birthday is very special I want to greet her in person, plus I'm already done preparing my present for her my effort is too much to waste." She announces.
How to say no after seeing this cute little present to her friend, Tsk helya'. I'm about to say yes again.
"Tss, Alright just be safe okay?" She nod and kissed me then she get her bag and leave, though I always worried her safety I can't control her life.
But after the incident I was asking myself and thinking if she's telling the truth, sometimes I can't stop overthinking or worrying about her since the day she was taken by Fred.
I look all over the house and take a breath, I think I'm about to clean this condo alone.
At this point I can entertain all unwanted thoughts in my head or I can enjoy this "Me time", Am I the right guy to protect lea? I said while looking at our picture hanging on the wall.
I clean the house and take my shower, I'm ready to go home after an hour.
Today is a very hot day, I chew my bubble gum to waste a little time, And I accidentally throw the gum outside the trash bin and I notice something strange. Very strange.
A rubberized sheath for men? Used C-condom?
My forehead furrowed and my hearts beat become heavier.
I was a bit confused after seeing this "W-who used it?" I asked myself while recalling that I wasn't able to make love with Lea since the day I sexually force someone months ago, I was a bit shaky and confused after seeing this condom.
I took a deep breath and shouted. "No! No way! Lea no!" I shout and hit the wall. "You can't do this to me" I shouted with heavy feelings. I try to convince myself to calm down but how? how to deaden my anger after seeing this shit! I took a deep breath and sit on the bed. I am clueless and my heart started to be confused.
I went home to Convince myself not to get mad and talk to lea first before Entertaining my anger, that's the best thing to do as of now.
"Ride are you okay? You seem problematic is there something wrong?" It was Marc, my friend.
I didn't answer him to avoid misunderstanding since I have no idea what was the condom all about and trying to keep this anger before talking to my girlfriend, I trynna make myself a fool just to protect lea from my anger, which I always do.
"There's something wrong I'm sure you are not a quiet person so tell me ride you have a problem, right? Riddle base on your face--
"Whatever, I want to rest. Please stop bothering me." I answered I don't want to talk about it as of now.
"Rest? In this morning?" He replies as if he knows that it was just a reason to avoid him.
I didn't answer for a while to construct my reply to him since I can't find the exact word on how to say that I saw a used condom on lea's house since we always have butt heads when it comes to Lea. Well marc doesn't want Leah to be with me, she is a trouble maker on my end.
"Tsk, Well yeah. There's something wrong so please stop bothering me, I want to be alone."
"You can share whatever it is bro, I mean you can't solve it alone." He answered.
But this time my mouth says it maybe I can't carry this heavy feeling alone. "I saw a used condom in lea's place. Well marc, obviously I did not use it. Like hell, I wasn't able to do it until now after that day, it's not mine."
His face doesn't change after saying the cause of this anger, it seems like he knew it or maybe he can expect it from the girl I love.
"I told you, bro, always look for your girlfriend, keep your eyes on her like bro she's pretty and you know? I can't trust her till' now, most especially today at your situation? there must be something she wants that you can't give, you know what I mean." He answered.
"Yah I know but how? Do I need to follow her wherever she goes? Or be with her all the time? Marc she will never allow me to do it! I mean no girl wanted to be tailed by their boyfriend."
"You know what I mean riddle. Why don't you ask for help? I mean, ask your dad for a little help, Riddle, just once. Look at yourself? you look like a poor boyfriend."
"No marc, I'm not going to ask dad about it. I told you, I want to prove myself to them, well obviously I can't say that I rape someone Just to save Lea. I mean that crime? they will never forgive me for what I did."
"Riddle you already prove yourself to them, you don't have to stay in this little apartment riddle do not limit yourself this time, And you have to pay for what you did. You put someone's life in hell and you cannot hide it forever anytime there's a big chance that your victim shows up and make you pay for what you did."
"I'll talk to lea first. Marc, I get your point but this is not about my victim, this is about Leah and the condom."
"Yes, it is! Riddle, I know your victim has an endless nightmare while you? you are busy chasing Leah. Maybe yes this is not about your victim but remember you rape someone to save Leah, I know how hard it was but you have to tell and give justice to that girl! She Deserves it more than you do."
Yes, I was hard-headed but I can't afford to accept the fact that she's cheating on me.
"I have to fix everything, but now I'm going to ask lea about the condom. I want to hear it from her alone."
"You think she will tell you the truth you deserve? Bro, once she lies, she will always send you lies."
"Stop it, Marc."
"Riddle you are meant for someone better, stop chasing someone you don't deserve!" He replies.
"Then she's not better? Is that what you mean?"
"To be honest, Yes. I think she's not for you."
"Hell no, I just can't picture out myself without lea after what I did to that girl. I mean am I still not enough?"
"You are just a simple boy in a simple apartment bro, you can't even give her a ride or make her body warm after the incident, and now you are still asking what's the condom all about huh?"
"Honestly Riddle you know the answer to your question, you just want to make a reason to stay in that crazy relationship with Leah"
"Marc, I'm so desperate. Right?"
"Riddle Ford you are so desperate. Period!" He replies.
"So you mean she has a lot of reason to leave me even after choosing her that day right?"
Marc has no words for me to say, he nod at me tap my shoulder.
"But I almost ruin my life just to make her safe."
"You can make her safe, but bro. You can't make her stay."
"Am I still not enough for her?"
"I told you not to love her that much, Riddle remember this People leave when they want and you can't stop them."
I'm out of my words but Marc is right, if she chooses to leave me, she can do it right away. My trauma is not an excuse to make her stay.
What I did last few months is not enough reason for her to stay, but a clear reason for her to leave and find someone better than me. I think faking my personality is not a great idea after all. This will not happen if I listen to my mom and dad. But everything is done.
"Marc, what if she really cheat on me?" I asked.
"Riddle she obviously cheated on you, stop making an excuse. Stop thinking and hoping that saving her from Frederick conception's gang is enough reason to make her stay. You are just fooling yourself. I thought you are smart, but now I realize being a school achiever is not enough for you to choose the right thing, again Ride. People leave when they want."
That's the last word he said after leaving me in my room, I keep on doing bad decisions in life but my trauma is not enough reason to hide the truth and justice to my victim.