I am eighteen years old, I have to make a decision. Should I go to the woods despite my grandfather's ban, or should I still sit on this porch?
The seeds of hope I planted in me are growing more and more every day. I don't know how I manage to deceive myself so well. I think that every time I go into the forest, I am more likely to see it. I keep believing that Cesur is waiting for me every day in the first place I saw.
I am more angry with myself than my grandfather for not being able to forget him. Besides being my first friend, I think Cesur is my first love. I know that I am still not in love with him, but it is impossible to forget him when I carry a piece of him in my body.
The light of the great full moon has already begun to illuminate the surroundings. I took the last sip of the chilled tea in my hand and got up to go to bed. I struggled to cover my mouth with one hand as I quietly climbed the stairs. As soon as I got into my bed, I let myself fall into the arms of sleep.
Two seconds before a giant wolf jumped on me, I opened my eyes and lifted my head from the pillow. The pain in my arm was making me ache. That damn night came and found me again. I would spend the whole night whining. I took one of the painkillers in my drawer and swallowed it. Painkillers were no longer helpful.
I got out of bed massaging my arm. I started to pace around the room. As the full moonlight hit my window, I opened the window to get some air. I inhaled the fresh air. I heard some howling sounds from the other end of the forest. I knew wolves were Brave's friends. Yes, I still believe in this childish dream. I continue to believe everything Cesur says. I'm sure he's too busy listening to wolves howling somewhere right now. I don't know if he's thinking of me, I'm not even sure he remembers me, but the hope that bloomed in me hasn't shed its leaves yet.
The pain relief must have taken some effect so I could fall asleep. When I woke up in the morning, there was no sign of the pain I had last night.
Today is Sunday, my grandfather probably went fishing in the lake. I went down to the kitchen and prepared myself a snack and took my place on the veranda.
I was chewing my bread on the one hand and watching the path leading to the forest on the other. I was eighteen and now I had made my decision. Despite my grandfather.
I hurriedly dropped the plate in my lap to the floor and dived in. I quickly climbed the stairs to my room. I took jeans and a sweater out of my closet and changed. I missed the forest, if not to find Cesur, and I was already looking forward to going to my tree, which I had not been to for a long time. I went down the stairs at the same speed and put on my shoes.
I ran the trail as fast as I could. The end of the road took me into the forest. I hesitated, wondering if he was sure of my decision, even though it was a pause to catch my breath. Again, I should have been home before my grandfather returned.
Of course, I couldn't pass without putting the blackberries I found on the road into my mouth. I make the decision at the age of eighteen that I could not make at the age of seven; I'm pretty sure I like blackberries more than strawberries.
Finally, I came to my big tree where everything was rusty. He had grown a bit, but the years had not taken anything away from him. He was standing before me as powerfully as before.
I looked around with hope, even to myself. There was hardly anything but a few birds. I didn't come here to see anyone anyway. I sat on the ground with my back to the tree. I started to fill my lungs with the clean smell of the forest. The probability of him leaving from here, from this city or even from this country was higher than the probability of seeing him right now. I had to accept some things, like Cesur was gone.
I looked around with hope, even to myself. There was hardly anything but a few birds. I didn't come here to see anyone anyway. I sat on the ground with my back to the tree. I started to fill my lungs with the clean smell of the forest. The probability of him leaving from here, from this city or even from this country was higher than the probability of seeing him right now. I had to accept some things, like Cesur was gone.
I opened my eyes to the crackling heard in the forest. I turned my head to the back and tried to listen to the sound. I couldn't get up from my seat until the sound got stronger. I heard such a voice on the first day I saw Cesur, but I'm not sure I was as brave as I was back then. Should I go and look, or should I just walk away without looking back? All my brain functions stopped, I focused on the sound approaching me. I quickly got up and turned around.
Maybe it was Brave. I must gather my courage. I had to go over there and see what it was or who it was. The sound of my heart began to ring in my brain. Is the reason for my excitement because I have encountered something bad or am I seeing Cesur again? I don't know which is worse though. Amazon woman. Yes, I am an amazon woman, I should never be a cowardly person.
While I was thinking these things, my feet were already starting to take me in the direction of the sound. I felt like my heart was going to burst as I took a step.
I got stuck where I was. Standing in front of me were five wolves, one, two, three, four, five, the largest I have ever seen in my life. Did I say Amazon woman? My current situation was no different from a defenseless gazelle. I had to make a plan right away; like running away. Yes, I could run. And I was probably sure that as soon as I took my first step, I would be prey to the wolves.
When the wolf standing on the right started to swoop around me with its head down like a lion sneaking up on its prey, I was struggling not to fall and faint. I couldn't even move between the five wolves on the alert. I watched the wolf walking around me without even moving my head.
As he stopped glancing at me and moved to the left, a thin growl filled my ears. Along with him, the other four wolves bared their teeth like knives and began to growl.
Here, I said, I'm done. This is the end. Goodbye life. I wish I had the chance to hug my grandfather one last time. I did not listen to his word and came this far. She was an Amazon woman. What if every part of you was an amazon, you skinny.
As I made myself count, I glanced at the wolves to see if I had time to pray. I guess there wasn't.
"Asli," when I heard my name, my body, which had gone rigid, suddenly dissolved and I turned around to where the voice came from.
Brave. The boy I had waited for years now stood before me. I can't decide whether I should be surprised that he still remembers my name or be surprised to see him here again, but it was true that I was surprised in every way. Even without the scar on his neck, I still knew he was Brave.
The boy I left at the age of nine, weaker and weaker than me, was standing before me at the age of twenty, stronger and stronger than me. And there was no trace of his timid look when I first saw him. I was the one who resembled the nine-year-old Cesur. frightened and timid.
The five wolves standing behind me became a dream and flew away. The only thing I couldn't handle was my excitement. The moment I saw Cesur, my fear became palpable and enveloped me. Her scowled eyebrows, her taut lips, her hunched body made me look like she was defying the five wolves behind me, ready for battle at any moment.
"Get out of here," he said.
What was the reason for this fear? Is it the fact that the two of us will be torn apart by wolves, or the fact that if I go I won't be able to see him again? I couldn't decide for a moment which would be worse.
I saw her once again and was sure that I would die a happy woman.
I shook my head. I didn't want to go. I couldn't feed my childhood friend to the wolves. I could fight for him, if I weren't so afraid.
I shivered when I heard footsteps behind me. Unlike me, Cesur took a step forward, frowning. He was looking directly at the wolves standing behind me.
"Run!" yell. Against my will, obeying Cesur, my feet began to run as far as they could. I ran from where I came to reach the path. Even when my heart started to burn like a bomb ready to explode, I didn't stop until I saw the house. I couldn't hold back my tears when I threw myself onto the porch.
I thought about going back to the forest. I could save him. Stupid, I was a coward. I would never forgive myself for leaving the person I had waited for years alone with five wolves in the huge forest.
he died. he died. he died. Voices that couldn't be silenced were screaming in my head. He's dead!
I sat on the stairs and started crying. I couldn't take my eyes off the path for a moment. I was waiting for him to come again in the same place. If he came out, I would jump on his neck and do everything I could to make sure he didn't go again.
I waited all night. No one came but my grandfather. When he asked what had happened, I cried like crazy for hours, "He's dead". Although he could not make sense of what had happened, he sat with me for hours and followed the path. I don't know when I slept, but Cesur still had not come.