Amora
I think dismally about marrying Derrick Moretti, sure he's nice enough. He's too nice actually. Raven is staring at me with sorrowful eyes. I don't know what to say to ease her. I feel like my entire life is falling apart. The weight of the ring when it's on my finger feels like a death sentence. I don't want to die as 'Amora Moretti' , but the sad truth of it is that, in two months, I'll be trapped in a loveless marriage. In two months, I'll be living in a completely different house with someone I barely know, someone I don't trust. I wonder what my new life will be like as a trophy wife. Would he continue to be kind? or would he turn into everyone else, telling me to sit down, shut up and look pretty. I'm sure everything in our house would be ornate and organized. Not a speck of dust on anything. The halls would be dark green and echo when you step. The temperature would always be just low enough to be chilly. Is he going to make us share a bedroom? I hope not…I won't ever be able to sleep with a stranger a few feet away from me on the other side of the bed. I would rather never sleep again. I look around the small apartment that Raven and I have been in for two years. As soon as I turned 18 she made sure to get me away from my mother. I'm glad I was able to help Raven and her cleanliness. Her vanity is still a mess, as are most of her drawers. At least she knows how to keep things off the floor. It's a simple apartment, but it's ours. That's why it's special. Maybe if I tried I could find ways to love Derrick, but everything about him feels fake. His smile, his laugh, his energy, surely no one who is so careful with how he is seen by others can be trustworthy. I just know he's hiding something. I decide a change of subject may help the glum thoughts going through my head.
"Anyways…" I say suddenly to Raven. "About Ireland?"
Raven bites her lip, it's a familiar gesture. It seems I've become the one with bad ideas since highschool. I wonder if it has anything to do with AJ's influence, I don't know where he is but sometimes I can still feel him. I know he's out there somewhere.
"I dunno Amora, something about it feels fishy."
"Oh come on!" I plead with her exasperatedly. At least come on the flight with me? The letters say everything will be accommodated for, our plane tickets, our hotel, food…. And how many other opportunities will we have to go to Ireland? I bet once we get there you won't even understand why you were fussing about it so much." I widen my eyes to plead with her silently. A move that almost always works. She's gnawing on her lip so incessantly I feel like she's almost trying to draw blood.
"Okay, fine…But only because I love you. For the record though if we get kidnapped, I am screaming I told you so at the top of my lungs."
"Deal" I smile, at least for now I have something other than the slow march to my doom to focus on.