Ren
"Sure thing Mr. 007" AJ says with a sigh, responding to Darren. "That was way too predictable, besides, they won't reach the airport for another few hours." As their usual bickering continues, I spy my reflection in a mirror. I saw the way AJ was looking at me, he likes this more. I look normal. I despise normal. I look like any other pointless human being. Milling about my daily activities. I shudder at the thought. AJ wishes I could be more like this stranger I am staring at. He used to tell me that being eccentric is what made me so attractive to him. Now every time he looks at me It's almost as if his heart is broken. Taken aback with distaste, the only reason he loves me is because I was convenient. As I look at him now, arguing with our director I can see, he wants normal, longs for it even.
I study him in the mirror, standing behind my reflection I can see his tattoo, he's had it for at least two years now, but it is still a startling presence that rids me of my breath when I look too closely. Whorls of black ink wrap around his upper arm, what looks like plumes of smoke billow up around an all seeing eye, though no life rests in the iris of it, as eyes do, nothing is captured, no glimmer of hope, and I know that AJ had to have asked for that specifically. Otherwise there would be light in the eye. When I look closer, I see that the plumes of smoke are actually dark words, in latin, the words read "ante lucem affert pericula ac diligentia videri" I am not sure what it means, I never cared much for foreign languages, although somehow, I have become fluent in Spanish as well as French and Arabic. I must have learned it while I was asleep. Neither Darren nor I know why or when AJ received the tattoo, when he returned from his 6 months as a ghost, he was bloodied, his arm was broken, his eyes dark and haunted as if he had not slept the entire 6 months he had been missing, his foot nearly shattered, and this mysterious ink was upon his arm. He is the only one who can even begin to understand my mind, I love him. I only wish he was not so skilled at hiding the truth. As they argue I can see the love in Darren's eyes. Part of me hopes that AJ sees it too. The rest of me harbors jealousy and anger, as it always has, but now, that anger is towards AJ. He said he loved me, so why is it that I do not feel he does? I stare at my alien reflection. Trying to push away the memory of AJ regarding me with awe in this repulsive facade.
"Ren?"
He says to me softly, he walks up behind me, staring at myself in the mirror. He is so beautiful, damaged, flawed, eccentric. Eccentricity is gorgeous, he is the one who taught me that so why does he like this foreign, normal version of me more? He rests his hand on mine.
"Ren?" he whispers. I let out a shaky breath. My anger begins to dissipate. AJ, he does not mean to hurt me, he would never, he loves me. Doesn't he? I look into his achingly sad eyes. I turn to face AJ,
"I am not normal, AJ. Yet you still love me?" he looks at me with concern, Darren has fallen completely silent, he knows he is no match for the bond AJ and I have. It is silly of me to think of him as competition.
"Of course Ren, I love that you're not normal. Normal is overrated, remember? The world needs people like you, otherwise it's just boring." He says with a smile, grabbing both of my hands and looking up at me with his sad eyes. My heart falls as I notice the nearly imperceptible glimmer of fear that passes over his face as he lies to me. He brings one hand up to my face and kisses me on the cheek. Quietly, only enough for me to hear, he buries his face in the crook of my neck and says, "You mean everything to me." my heart races, oh sweet lies. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on the top of his. Darren quietly slides out of the armory, leaving us alone. I know AJ cares for me deeply, perhaps he does truly love me. I just cannot help this ache I feel when he says it. Perhaps it is less of a lie and more of a partial truth. AJ loving me, even partially, can be enough.
For now