Raven
"What do you mean we won a trip to Ireland? Did we even enter a contest?"
I ask Amora as she sits on my bed, watching me apply my lipstick. We've become closer than ever after we moved in together, I couldn't imagine my life without her. When Carter died, she was my only family. She still is, and she always will be.
"I have no clue Raven, all I know is we got tickets for the flight in the mail today. Yes they are our names. We didn't get Angie and Theresa's mail this time."
I wipe off the areas where my make-up smudged, sit back, and look in the mirror. I'm so glad I stopped wearing all of that eye-liner, it made me look like a slut. I do look better without it. Just because Avril Lavigne does it, doesn't mean I have to.
"I still think it is a scam. People do not just get free tickets to Ireland, do they?"
Catwoman shrugs, "Apparently, they do."
She says as her phone lights up with the notification tone that lets her know it is Jason. Amora sighs, "Again?" she whispers to herself as she shakes her head. "I gotta run, Millie just blew something up in the microwave. Again." She says, walking up to the mirror and putting her hands on my shoulders, she moves my hair off of them, to where it is all resting on my back, "You look sexy, as always. And I personally, don't think it's a scam. We should go. We need a good old fashioned vacation anyway." she smiles "it'll be fun."
I sigh, "Yes, maybe. But what about Jason and Millie? They still need you."
"Jason's almost 15, I'm pretty sure he can handle himself for a week or so. I mean, he already has you know? He had to grow up a lot faster than other kids. Just tell me you'll think about it?" Her smile gets even bigger.
"Yes, fine, I'll think about it. Don't you need to be somewhere?"
"Oh, right!" she says and runs out the door. "I'll be back!"
Once she is gone I stare into the mirror holding my reflection. Who I used to be, and who I am now. They are so different, but they are also similar. I still wear tons of make-up, I still flaunt myself around like I'm a piece of meat. I still think too much about things that don't matter, I'm still angry at my parents. I don't hate the world anymore, I don't hate every person who tries to compliment me, I hold my dignity above my need for validation. I wouldn't have been able to change any of those things about myself if it wasn't for that ginger-haired, psychotic sweetheart. I miss him, I only knew him for 24 hours. What is wrong with me? I stare at my reflection, letting my gaze graze over every part of me. I decided to wear a simple red dress with my fishnets of course, along with the silver, diamond earrings my mother gave me before she left. I let out a wobbly breath as I try to keep myself from crying. Despite feeling better about myself I still have one question I don't think I'll ever get the answer to. Who am I? I wish I knew the answer. He would know the answer, he always did. With his irritating comments and small, charming smile that I only saw once. Where did he go? That smug computer know-it-all with his big words and fast mind. How did he change me so much?
Amora
"Jay! I told you not to let her near that microwave without supervision!"
I yell as I walk into the small house where I saw the most beautiful art that I have ever seen. I wonder if he still paints?
"Hey!" Millie says, coming around the center island of the kitchen "I'm right here you know." She sticks her tongue out at me.
"Emillie!" Jason says from down the hall "I told you to stop sticking your tongue out at people. It's rude and easily misconceived. And yeah, I know, but I was kinda distracted…"
He trails off, looking down at the ground and rubbing his neck in a gesture that reminds me so much of his brother….
"With?"
I ask, eyebrows raised, hands on my hips. He looks up at me, obviously unwilling to tell me. He's stubborn like AJ too.
"Fine."
I say and avoid talking to him, he hates it when I do that. "Now Emillie, you were told not to touch the new microwave, you don't know how to use it responsibly."
"well, it's not my fault I was hungry, and he was too busy flirting with some boy!!" She says it with so much sass I need to take a step back. I whirl on Jason,
"What?!"
"Millie!" Jason yells. They begin bickering like, well, siblings.
"Okay okay, both of you sit down and shut up."
I point to the couch and after a moment, they both sit. Jason is avoiding eye contact and Millie is sitting, arms crossed and glaring.
"You," I say to Millie, "Go clean up that mess you made with a rag and water, don't use a cleaner."
She gets up and stomps off to the kitchen. "and you better stop that stomping young lady!" She stays silent for a second before quietly saying
"Sorry, Mora." The nickname I got after Jason and Mille both decided that "Amora" was too professional for the girl who helped them with homework, took them shopping, and made them food.
"And you." I sit next to Jason on the couch "You were flirting?" There's a moment of silence before Jason sighs, "I didn't want you to know about him."
"Why?"
He shrugs, the intolerance he was exposed to as a child no doubt floods through his mind. I place my arm around the boy's neck. "It doesn't matter to me that you're flirting with a boy. I would react the same if you were flirting with a girl." He's looking down at the tattered cushion of the couch, an old worn out floral design, holes and cigarette burns. He doesn't say anything.
"Jay," I begin softly, he looks back up at me with sad eyes, the gray still takes my breath away. I'm reminded of the little boy I found crying in his room, a bandage on his injured arm, as he had to let go of his brother and cope with what he had done. "I have a secret, well it's not my secret, it's your brother's."
"AJ?" His eyes light up. He loves his brother so much, I did everything I could to make sure they never forgot him. Wherever he is, I'm sure that's what he wants. I nod.
"AJ...he likes boys too. He was always really afraid of it though. He'd be so proud of you."
Jason smiles, "Really?" his smile falters, "I miss him Amora. I wish I could know where he is."
"I know bud." I wrap Jason into a hug, "I miss him too." I squeeze him tight and let go. "Now, back to this flirting business. What about school? You're in highschool now, you need to really focus if you want to get into a good college."
"I know that, I'm not that stupid. School is my priority, I'm still getting straight A's. Plus, I really, really like him." He smiles a little when he says it, blushing furiously.
"I didn't even know you went that way honestly."
Another shrug, "I didn't either, but he's just; really, really great." Jason looks up at me with shimmering eyes
"His name is Noah."
I smile at him, "He sounds like he makes you happy Jay. But I need to meet him, and I need to make sure you're keeping your grades, no sneaking out, no parties, no sleeping over at each other's houses, and no sex; he might not be able to get you pregnant but that doesn't mean it can't still mess up your life in epic proportions. Okay, kid?"
He nods, "yes, Mora."
"And don't think I'm supporting this 100% I personally, don't think you should date until you're 30. But I'm a little protective. And a little primal. And my primal instinct is telling me to nurture you to death. Letting you out into the realm of dating doesn't exactly fall under that."
He laughs, "Yes, Mora."
I sigh, "He better be good for you."
Jason nods "He is."