AJ
"AJ" Darren says to me with quiet urgency, forcing me to freeze before walking out of the kitchen. I was so close to avoiding this conversation. I turn to look at him, with his gaze shockingly sharp I gasp lightly.
"What can I do for ya bossman?" I say with a light tone that I do not feel. I hide my hands behind my back, careful not to touch them too much. I always thought a day would come when Ren would hurt me like that. I'm disappointed knowing that he has and I'm not surprised. Darren looks around me and down the hall to make sure Ren is out of ear shot. He takes a few steps closer to me. He stands four inches above me, his shoulders broad like a wall. I can almost taste his cologne, I think he's using a new one. I look up at him trying my best not to seem disturbed by his closeness. In a low quiet tone Darren speaks to me.
"Let me see your wrists."
"You've seen 'em before."
"AJ" he says as a warning, I'm not in the mood to do more pushups. Especially not in the kitchen, the mahogany hardwood smelt heavily of pine sol, it's still burning the back of my throat. I glance around the kitchen trying to find an escape route, I already know there isn't one but I like to stall. I take in the mahogany hardwood and the alabaster colored cabinets, my coffee still rests on the counter where I had been with Ren a few minutes ago. I bring my eyes back over to Darren's, the only thing I despise about mine and Ren's training was always being expected to look him right in the eyes. I knew his eyes too well. Milk chocolate and gold. Fiery and smooth. Shocking and menacing. I slowly bring my arms from behind my back and thrust them between Darren and I, making him move back even an inch lifts so much anxiety off of my chest. With one of his richly colored hands he touches my bruises. He gently grabs my wrist and turns it over. He looks back up at me pensively.
"Why did he do this?" There's a hint of anger in his low vibrato, I don't know why he'd be angry. Darren himself has done worse to me, training or otherwise…it's no secret he and I don't always get along. I shrug, "I didn't tell him I loved him. I never do." I look away from him at the last part, I don't want to see what passes over Darren's eyes when I say it. I feel his eyes on me for a few moments longer before he releases me abruptly.
"I figured you two would argue over Amora eventually. Ren never really knew what that bond was about. It infuriates him." He shrugs nonchalantly. "Maybe you should have just told him the truth." and with that Darren walks away. I catch a whiff of cigarettes on his leather jacket as he breezes past me.
"Ya know bossman, you should really stop smoking." He stops his confident gait and looks back at me "Are you ever going to let that go?" Instead of waiting for an answer he continues his dramatic exit and goes off down the hallway to god knows where.I think back to what he said, I should have just told Ren the truth. Of course Ren acting that way towards me this morning is my fault, everything always is. I don't even understand why I'm here. In this agency or in the world in general. 7 billion goddamn people on this planet and for some reason they had to choose me. They chose me to carry the insane improbability of a telepathic connection. To one specific girl who could do so much better with someone else. Why me? It seems to be the only question I have anymore. Ren really had to choose me to have an insatiable infatuation with. Why me? Why am I part of the secret government organization?
I really do care about Ren but, I don't love him. I can't, I don't trust him enough to love him. Isn't he better off with someone else who thinks as logically as him anyways? Someone like Raven would be good for him, sure, she's unstable and a little crazy. But so is Ren, and she has a good head on her shoulders. She's a lot smarter than she gives herself credit for, everyone can see that.Why can't he go be in love with her? I know we only met them for a short time but, is it strange to miss them? Everyday since Ren and I "ran away" or so the story goes; we have been reminded of the girls. We fight knowing our team is incomplete without them, we train our minds to ward off others with one way telepathy. We train with weapons knowing Amora would best us at anything having to do with knives, but it's not like we knew them well, or really at all. At some point during my endless questions I had made it to my room. I look around it, I hardly spend time here. I'm normally on the roof, one of the training rooms, or in Ren's room.
My bed lies in the center of the far wall, the window above it. My floor is littered with various articles of clothes but the bed stays made. I only come in here when I need to change my clothes or grab my weapons. I look over at the small closet, my wardrobe in the middle of it. It's open, which means someone was rummaging around in here. Probably Darren, I realize with annoyance. He doesn't really understand privacy. I guess he was raised not to though, which is only more annoying because it means I can't be angry with him for it. Despite everything… and I do mean everything; Darren is like family, at least a better one than the one I had previously…except for Jason and Millie, those kids are perfect. I just wish Jason didn't have to live with such a weight on his shoulders. At least Darren cares about where I've been and what I'm doing. Even if it's only because I'm his responsibility. It's hard to believe he's only two years older. I guess he just has a lot more things to take care of than the average 23 year old.