Namjoon's POV
I followed Jazz to the patio just outside the game room. I assumed she wanted to talk to me about Zee and everything that had happened. I had hardly seen Zee this afternoon and in light of the disagreement we had this afternoon, I concluded that she was avoiding me.
"I take it you know why I asked to speak to you," Jazz stated.
"I assume you want to speak to me about Zee?" I responded.
"Yes," she said nonchalantly, "Zee is a very sensitive soul and nothing matters to her more than the happiness and safety of the people around her," Jazz said.
"I know that and I didn't mean to-"
"I know you didn't but at that moment it came across that way. Zee doesn't see us as her colleagues or her team, she sees us as her family. Whatever she does, or decides to do is not for her benefit but for everyone else involved, including BTS," Jazz said, cutting me off.
I looked at Jazz pondering over what she said. It made sense and I guess I didn't give Zee a chance to hear her out.
"Okay, so how do I fix it? She doesn't want to speak to me, remember," I said, stating the obvious.
"Give her time, she has been through a lot in the past year and for a while her job was the only thing keeping her sane until she started listening to K-Pop," Jazz explained.
"Meaning?"
"I mean Zee started loosening up again after she started listening to your music. BTS inspired her to love herself again and she doesn't go a single day without saying something about BTS or another K-Pop group. And we don't mind it because it is the only time we see her light up; and we know that slowly we are getting her back. And now she gets a chance to work with her favourite group, which is even better than anything else in the world for her. So believe me when I say, she really cares about you and your group and she would never do anything to put you guys in danger or to divide you in any way," she explained.
I looked at Jazz, unsure of what to say next. All I knew is that I wanted to make things right again but I keep being told to give her time. Jazz noticed my hesitation and she stood up and moved closer to me.
"Zee is an incredible and passionate person. Wayne failed to see that and I would hate for you to do the same. Enjoy your evening," she said with a faint smile and walked back into the house.
(Thirty minutes later)
I walked into the bar and immediately spotted Jackson. He had found a secluded spot for us away from everyone else. I made my way towards him hoping to get there before I was recognised.
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," I said apologetically.
"Hey man, no worries. I arrived around 15 minutes ago myself," he said.
He looked tired and drained. I guess practice has been tough on him as well.
"Man you look terrible," I stated before I signaled for a waitress.
"Dude, you have no idea. The group and I have been practicing day in and day out trying to prepare ourselves for the showcase. We finally have a day off tomorrow," he explained.
I felt his pain; it's been the same for us the past couple of days. It was harder for us since we were three men down.
"I know how you feel; at least you have your whole group with you. Try practicing choreography when three of your members are not there," I said with a chuckle.
"Touché," he said, lifting his glass, "When is the maknae line returning?" he asked.
"In three weeks. They had three more months left but the company asked if there was a possibility they could be released sooner in order for them to partake in the showcase," I said in response.
"That's awesome!!" Jackson exclaimed, "Your fans must be over the moon."
"We haven't made a public announcement yet. We are hoping to surprise the Army at the showcase. The company is working hard to keep it all hush hush," I said.
"Clever move, gives you guys a winning chance as well. Don't worry I won't say anything," he said.
"I know, funny enough I trust you with my life," I said with a smile.
"Lol, glad to hear that. So how are things going on your side; any progress with Zee?" Jackson asked.
"There was progress but thanks to my ego and big mouth I'm back to square one," I said with a sigh.
"Aaah dude, what did you do," he asked.
Jackson knew about what happened the night after the cocktail party, but I never told him that Zee and I had wanted to try things out. So I told him everything that happened until the disagreement. I was careful not to tell him anything about Jenna as I didn't want it to get out.
"Have you tried to apologise?" Jackson asked.
"I want to but Jazz and Danny told me to give her some time," I said.
"I agree with them. I mean you did hurt her feelings after all," Jackson stated.
"I didn't mean to. I was looking out for my group. I mean they are more than just group members to me, they are my family, my brother's," I said out of frustration.
"Then you should be able to see things from Zee's perspective. Whether you think it was the right thing to do or not, whatever she did was for her team, her own family," he said, "Look I don't know this girl from a bar soap but I can see she is an honest and caring person. Otherwise, you wouldn't have fallen for her and now you broke her heart. Your job is to mend it and make it up to her. How you do it is entirely up to you," Jackson concluded.
Jackson had a point. I was a jerk earlier on and now I was stuck trying to figure out how to make it up to her.
Zee's POV
I was walking down a dark path. A path full of memories that were both good and bad. At one point the path is full of happiness, laughter and smiles and then suddenly sadness and tears. It felt like I was walking down memory lane. I don't know why I was on this path but I found myself continuing down, step by step.
I noticed that the path ahead was split into two. I stopped at the beginning of both paths, not sure which one to take. I looked out into the horizon and noticed that there was someone standing, waiting for me at the end of each path. The one path had my beloved Wayne and the other had my mentor Sasha. Each of them was waiting for me with a smile. I realised right there and then what was happening.
I was back in the same unwanted position where I had to pick between two people I loved and I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to lose Wayne and I didn't want to lose Sasha and my job. They both played important roles in my life. But yet again my mind was playing tricks on me, reminding me that I can't have both.
"But why? Why can't I have both?" I murmured to myself.
There it was again, the pain and guilt creeping up on me ready to pull me down into the void of sadness and depression. I tried to fight it, hoping to get away from all the pain and hurt I went through. But it was inevitable; I started to sink, the path slowly swallowing me. I had taken to long to make a decision. Wayne and Sasha had turned and were continuing each along their own path.
Without me.
I tried to call out, tried to ask them both to save me from the grip that held me down but it was useless; my cries fell on deaf ears. They were either too far away to hear me or they just didn't care enough to turn around to see the pain that was beginning to envelope me.
With a final, futile call to each of them I fell into the void of darkness with no way out. I kept calling out for help; help from anyone at all but no one was there to help me. I was alone yet again.
Stuck in this nightmare once again.