I sat on a park bench behind the clinic. From the front, it looks like a small clinic with a view of the highway, where vehicles and people pass by. But in the backyard, it turned out to be wider than I imagined.
I had some doubts when Doctor Karl told me to take a walk in the back garden if you were bored.
The garden is quite large, with several patients sunbathing accompanied by their family members, a small person sitting in a wheelchair, then there is also a woman holding a baby who is still red. The sight was enough to make me a little calmer. No longer feel alone.
A middle-aged woman then approached and sat right next to me. She turned and examined my appearance. The patient's clothes, pale skin—which already looked fresher than a few days ago, long hair that was thinning either because of the effects of my illness or because it was rarely touched by a comb. Kind of like crazy. I turned to her, smiling just to be friendly—even though my heart didn't want to.
"Are you sick?" the woman asked after confirming that I was a sane person. I nodded.
"How old are you?" she asked again.
"Twenty-two years." I forced a smile which she replied with the same thing.
"You're the same age as my granddaughter. Really. There she is, just given birth to a beautiful baby girl." The woman smiled pointing at the woman who was bathing in the sun while holding a baby. I just pursed my lips.
"Her husband must be very lucky to have a wife as beautiful as your granddaughter," I said, not taking my eyes off the girl. The old woman sighed.
"It should be. But unfortunately, the lecherous man doesn't want to take responsibility. We are currently looking for people who are interested in adopting the baby from my grandson. We have registered him with the social service, just waiting to see if someone intends to take the baby."
I turned to the woman and then to her granddaughter in turn. Too bad for the baby. If only his mother was willing to take care of herself, wouldn't that be better?
"Uhm, sorry in advance. Why do you guys want the baby to be adopted? Isn't your granddaughter old enough to have a baby and take care of it?"
Her expression changed, her brows furrowed in annoyance.
"We are adherents of a devout religion, this kind of thing shouldn't be allowed to happen. No baby outside of marriage should be included in our family," she said sharply.
"But the baby is innocent, madam. He has a right to feel the love of his mother, right?! If you want to punish, then punish your granddaughter. But let the poor baby stay with his mother. Look! Your granddaughter looks very fond of her baby." I looked back at the girl. Now she kissed the forehead of the baby in her arms, occasionally rubbing the top of his head.
The woman followed my eyes. He witnessed for herself how her granddaughter gave a loving touch to his baby.
"She'll also be very sad if you separate her from the baby."
The woman turned to me this time. There was an annoyed look in her eyes. She then got up, with her hands on her hips began to curse at me.
"What do you know? Have you ever felt like we were?" she snapped. I raised my hands trying to calm her down. But instead of calming down, she got even more furious. I don't know if what I said was so irritating that it made the woman angry.
Luckily several nurses immediately approached me and calmed the woman down. Take her away somewhere. I massage the chest after they have gone. Then got back into the wheelchair and pushed him back into the room.
***
Arriving in the room, ignoring the pain in my body, I quickly got up and lay down on the bed. Intending to seek wind and kill boredom, actually got me into trouble. I hope she doesn't hold grudges against me. Once again I let out a sigh of relief.
Thinking back on my conversation with that woman. It made sense what they went through, as well as how she felt. If I was in that woman's position, then what should I do?
Not long after, the door to the room opened suddenly, followed by the arrival of Doctor Karl who came in hastily—breaking my daydream about what had happened.
"Jenna? Are you all right?" He scanned my condition from head to toe. "Are you hurt?"
I looked at the man with a surprised look. "Why are you here?" I asked while smiling, amused to see his behavior that looked funny when he panicked like he just did.
"I'm serious, are you okay?" the man asked again. I nodded.
"As you can see. Nothing less, except ..." I recalled the old woman who had just gone rampage, making me shudder.
Doctor Karl seemed to be waiting for the sentence I had deliberately hung.
"Except for my heart. It feels like it's about to burst!" My laugh. I laughed out loud. Between horrified and funny remembering what had just happened to me. Amazing.
The man slams his ass on the chair beside my bed. He sighed in relief when he saw me laughing with satisfaction like this.
"I thought something had happened to you. I ran here as soon as the nurse called. Thank goodness you're okay." He leaned his head against the back of the chair.
"So what if something happened to me?" I asked.
Okay, Jenna, you're starting to get the nerve to lure the handsome Doctor out now. What answer do I expect from him, huh?
"Uhm...of course, th-that...." He stuttered in response to my question. His eyes looked restless, glancing left and right as if to make sure no one would see or hear what he was about to say. I smiled to myself seeing his behavior which was similar to that of a teenager who wanted to express his feelings to the person he liked.
"Why, Ryan? There's no one here. And I'll keep what you say a secret," I teased with a smile.
He cleared his throat. And instead of answering my question, he got up and was about to leave.
"Okay if you're okay. I'll be in the room if you need me," he said hiding the flash of his eyes behind his glasses. I grabbed his arm to hold him back.
"Don't be in such a hurry, Doc. Don't you want to answer what I just asked?" I wicked.
'Hey, Jenna! Since when did you act like a bitch?"
I burst out laughing later, trying to hide the awkwardness that suddenly hit me. That's right, since when did I get so naughty with Doctor Karl. This can't be happening.
"Sorry, Doc. I'm just kidding. Please, you can go back to your room," I said awkwardly. He nodded then walked away and disappeared behind the door. Meanwhile, I smiled to myself remembering Doctor Karl's handsome face which has always appeared in my room, also in my dreams.
What is wrong with me? Why did I suddenly become such a lunatic? Like it was too soon to permit my heart to admire the Doctor. I don't even know his origins and background, especially his personal life which he seems to be hiding from others. However, for some reason, this feeling felt different from before.
Oh no!
I threw myself onto the bed. Sighing in despair. Am I like this because I didn't get a meaningful response from Blake? Does this mean I like the doctor? It seemed impossible, but I couldn't deny that what I felt was very different. Almost similar to how I felt for Blake, but this was more ... Uhm, I dunno! I better sleep. Moreover, the medicine I had taken made me a little sleepy.
I want to see if later after I wake up from sleep, the feeling is still there. Or will it float with the loss of my sleepiness?
***